Family, by Ricky

Families are forever. When we look back down our family tree through our parents’ linage, the roots dig the soil descending to the dawn of prehistory. Looking forward, the branches will produce the leaves of our posterity, assuming that nothing awful happens to prevent our offspring from reproducing. My personal family tree shows periods of good fertilization, cross pollination, reseeding, decay, and pruning. It is very interesting to me as the information I’ve been able to collect turns my roots into very real people with all the hopes, dreams, foibles, vices, and courage to risk all for a better future; and not just a list of names.

According to my side of the family, my great grandfather, John Charles Nelson, at the age of 15, immigrated from Sweden to the US by stowing away on a ship leaving Denmark for the US (or possibly Canada) to live with his older brother in Minnesota. Upon arrival, he probably worked in odd jobs, but in the summer, he was a “migrant” farm worker on various farmsteads. In his twenties, he married Bertha Nordin (pronounced nor-dean) and produced several children by her of which the oldest one was my grandfather, John Leonard Nelson. When John Leonard was 9 years old, his father died in a farming accident but no one recalls how. Bertha’s photograph shows her posing in the style of the mid 1800’s; sitting, wearing a dark full-length dress, hair held tightly up in a “bun”, and with a very stern or “no nonsense young man, thank you” look on her rather plain and unadorned face; no painted hussy this lady.

According to my great uncle’s side of the family, John Charles did indeed emigrate to the US but not from Sweden, but Denmark as they were citizens of Denmark. The only other difference in the story is they report that John Charles died in Cummings, North Dakota, of exposure (hypothermia) during an alcoholic stupor. Many civil records in Cummings were destroyed in a courthouse fire in the early 1900’s. Unfortunately, the local newspaper accounts of the day were also destroyed in another fire around the same time. I have not been able to prove either version correct, yet.

As a rather amusing aside to this story, I was in Bismarck, North Dakota, trying to find an obituary for John Charles as Bertha was living there about the time of his death. While reading an old newspaper, I stumbled across (how does one “stumble across” something while sitting down reading anyway?) a “letter to the editor” containing a complaint directly related to today’s society.

The letter was written by a male shopkeeper, in about 1896, who was walking home after leaving the shop for the day. He wrote he was walking down the sidewalk and decided to take a shortcut through an alley. As he turned the corner into the alley, he noticed several boys, ages running from 6 thru 12, further down the alley. The older boys were paring up the younger boys and having them fight each other with the winner given a cigarette to smoke. He then wrote, “Now I don’t have anything against boys fighting; it’s a healthy form of exercise, but we have laws about tobacco being in the possession of minors and their not being enforced.” In over 100 years our society can’t seem to keep tobacco out of the hands of children. The more things progress, the more they stay the same.

I am sure all my immigrant forefather and foremothers (is that really a word?) were elated to arrive in America and begin building a better life for themselves and their eventual offspring. The result for John Charles, Bertha, and their children was rather tragic whether he died in an accident or due to alcoholism. That event greatly impacted future generations.

I once saw an old black and white photograph of my grandfather, John Leonard, when he looked about 9 years old, standing in snow in front of a farm style shed. He was wearing a parka, pants, and ¾ length boots. When I first glanced at it while searching a box of family photos, I thought it was a picture of me at age 9 on my mother’s father’s farm where I was living at that age. I did a double-take and looked at the photo and realized it wasn’t me or my dad or my uncle. I finally figured it out that it was my grandfather (his features closely resembled his adult photographs). I first thought it was me because the expression on his face looked like I imagined my face looked when my dad told me about the divorce and then left the next morning; a total depressed look of internal sadness.

John Leonard grew up supporting is mother and siblings, also by working odd jobs and as a farm worker. In due time, he married the rather pretty Emma Sophia Unger and fathered 7 children; five boys and two girls. The oldest boy, born on June 13th 1914, is my father, John Archie Nelson. In another tragic event, my grandfather died when my father was 9 years old. I never asked how he died or if I did, I don’t remember. When I was in my teens, I did ask my father if he worried about dying as I turned 9 years old. He said that he did indeed. Fortunately (or perhaps not considering later events involving me), he lived into his 70’s.

My father had to support his mother and siblings with only an 8th grade education acquired in a one-room schoolhouse. He went to school in the daytime and worked odd jobs, one of which was as a “house boy” (according to the US Census), until he was old enough to stop schooling and work on farms as a laborer.

He related to me the following story while driving us across a bridge he helped build during the years of Roosevelt’s “New Deal” (or perhaps after WW2). The bridge was along US Hwy 101 near the California border with Oregon. It crossed a river in a not too deep but wide ravine. To construct such a structure a cofferdam had to be built first to divert the river around the foundation construction site so the concrete pillars could be made secure in large holes below the river’s bottom. One day as he was getting into the “elevator” to be lowered into the hole with the rest of the work crew, the foreman called him out and replaced him with another worker. He was then sent to work on a different area above ground. Later that morning the cofferdam failed and all the men in the pit were drowned. Lucky break for him and indirectly, me.

As WW2 progressed, he was working as a civilian construction worker at Dutch Harbor, Alaska, when the Japanese air force attacked to provide a diversion for their main attack on Midway Island. At the time, he was driving a truck in a sort of convoy along a road by the harbor. The truck three places in front of his was hit by a bomb with the normally expected results. So, once again we were lucky.

Sometime after that incident, he joined the army where he was sent to the European Theater of war. Once there, he was assigned to escort/guard German Prisoners of War (POW) on their voyage to the POW camps in the US. Once the war was over the prisoners by and large did not want to go back to Germany, he said, but they were returned anyway. Finally, he was sent to a base in Texas to await discharge. While waiting for his turn to get out of the army, he had time to obtain a civilian pilot’s license. After discharge, he returned to Minnesota to resume his civilian life. After marriage he worked as some type of factory worker and then as a postal worker and eventually retired from there very gruntled and not disgruntled.

My mother, Shirley Mae Pearson, married him in the Lutheran church in Cambridge, Minnesota, during November 1947. I was born to them 8 months later. That’s right I attended their wedding, but out of sight. Mother was born in her mother and father’s farmhouse in May of 1927 (the same year the first color television transmission was sent and received). She also was educated in a one-room schoolhouse thru the 8th grade and then attended high school in Cambridge. She was “confirmed” into the local Lutheran Church (the same one married in) and kept her faith although not practicing it openly; usually reading the Bible in private. She met my father in Minneapolis where she was working as a (I forget). For obvious reasons, after the wedding, they moved to Lawndale, California, a suburb of Los Angeles.

Mother had a job working for a company that made glues and foam rubber products. In fact, I still use the same pillow she made for me as a child. It has new ticking but still has the original shredded foam rubber inside. I think the company may have been a division of 3M. Anyway, the company’s claim to fame at the time mother worked for them was they made an artificial fluke and the glue to attach it on a whale that lost one off her tail. The whale was named Minnie and ended up living at Marine Land. The slogan was, “Minnie the whale with the detachable tail.”

Tragically, for me, if not for them, they divorced when I was young. During the process, I was sent to live with my mother’s parents on their farm in Isanti County in east-central Minnesota, just a few miles east of Cambridge.

Mother died in her 40’s while my twin half-brother and sister were only 14 (another tragedy) from the effects of liver cancer caused by smoking. I was married by then.

The lesson to be learned from all this; family trees can be blasted by life’s lightning, stressed by heavy winds, damaged in tragic fires, and wounded by lack of water; but still continue to live and prosper when nourished by frequent periods of love.

© 1 January 2011

About the Author

I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach. Just prior to turning 8 years old in 1956, I began living with my grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents divorced.

When united with my mother and stepfather two years later in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11 terrorist attack.

I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. I find writing these memories to be therapeutic.

My story blog is TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com

I Still Get a Thrill, by Ray S


As usual my mind drew a blank when the idea of a thrill was confronted.

It occurs to me that the word thrill, like many other descriptive terms, is a matter of relativity. I suppose it depends on how easily one is excited and that of course depends on one’s frame of mind at a given time.

How thrilling was a sunset? How thrilling was last night’s romance? Or how did that hot shower feel this morning? How much of a satisfying semi-thrill was it to find you hadn’t run out of dry cereal or toothpaste and hadn’t forgotten to feed the canary?

I would have preferred to “thrill” this assemblage with some sensational revelation about whatever would prove thrilling to you—this if you were even the least bit interested, much less thrilled.

But in retrospect I do need to acknowledge to you that I am just a wee bit thrilled to be here with all of you today and have you share my pretty un-thrilling trivia.

P.S. just remembered how thrilled I was with the chocolate cup cakes I made and how they tasted. It is another semi-thrill, give or take.

© 25 September 2017

About the Author

Finding Your Voice, by Phillip Hoyle

I started out a soprano. Then on Sunday nights at church I decided to harmonize as an alto and learned to read the line and sing the part. When my voice cracked too many times in Glee Club, I became a tenor. I stayed with that for many years. Since I was a choir director, I learned to sing all the parts, SAT and B. In the choirs we worked hard to increase everyone’s tone and range using techniques I learned from one of my voice teachers. If a section was weak on a Sunday morning, I could bolster them with my own screaming. It may have horrified some people. Who knows? 

Finding my voice as a writer was another story, one that didn’t depend on timbre or range. In fact the discussion of that concept goes on. I developed a terse style for use in academic writing. I had to warm it up it for the church newsletter and did so with a little bit of success. When I accepted contracts for writing curriculum resources I got more at home with addressing volunteer teachers. The reading level for them was eighth or ninth grade. Writing for students of different ages was more fun and challenging. That work served as my introduction to creative writing. I experimented but still don’t know that I actually developed a voice. 
When I started writing for myself, I tried for something consistent and my efforts seemed to help. But I believe I didn’t really find my voice until I had written a couple of years of weekly stories for this Telling Your Story group. Meeting that weekly goal and encouraging others to do the same, telling stories to almost the same people each week, and having an appreciative audience and being a part of this group did something for my sense of voice. I like the entertainment part of that work that reminds me so much of talking with a group of children on Sundays during many years of church work. Sometimes I made up the stories on the spot and encouraged the children to help me tell them. That got me started. Many years later I feel like I have a rather consistent voice and am happy to share my many stories with you. Mostly they are accurate to the extent of my ability to recall, but you know how that goes with the years stacking up, hearing reducing, and eyesight dimming. I appreciate that the story telling group allows me to speak whatever my voice is, found or not.
Thanks for listening, or on the blog, thanks for reading. 
© 23 October 2017

About the Author

Phillip Hoyle lives in Denver and spends his time writing, painting, and socializing. In general he keeps busy with groups of writers and artists. Following thirty-two years in church work and fifteen in a therapeutic massage practice, he now focuses on creating beauty. He volunteers at The Center leading the SAGE program “Telling Your Story.”

He also blogs at artandmorebyphilhoyle.blogspot.com

Hooves, by Pat Gourley

“That horse has left the barn”

When I hear the word “hooves” in nearly any context I think of horses though many different mammals have hooves. My early days on the farm never involved horses so I may have made the association of hooves with horses after watching Gene Autry and Roy Rogers on 1950’s TV.

I remember that the often ridiculous and blatantly racist TV westerns seemed to distinguish between native American horse-hoof prints from those of the always white settlers, American law men and cavalry by noting whether the horses had been shod or not. Native horses had no shoes where as those of the white folk always did, a simplistic view since many native tribes were quite adept at acquiring horses from settlers and others who shod their horses. On these TV shows blacksmiths were often shown dramatically forging by fire while shaping the shoes and then nailing them onto the horses’ hooves. This really is the extent of my connection with the word hooves, though I do vaguely recall older male relatives on occasion playing “horseshoes”. That was a game though that never caught on for me personally.

Another memory of hooves was the apparent use of fake cows’ hoofs being used by moonshiners wearing them to throw off federal agents chasing them during Prohibition. Not sure exactly how this worked since cows have four feet and humans only two. However wasting time on thinking about this application of hoof-foot-wear as a means to sneak to one’s moonshine still in the woods will do little to address any real world problems these days I am afraid.

I can though make a tangential leap from hooves by way of horses and cows to the phrase: “That horse has already left the Barn”. This implies of course to the after-the-fact reality that it is too late to do anything about whatever. If one adapts this as a world view these days there are many things that seem too late to do much about whether we want to admit that reality of not.

Climate change sadly is one reality that it may very well be too late to do much about. That horse seems to have galloped away and kicked the door shut with both of his back hooves. Still in my more optimistic moments I can’t help but think that if we were to embark on a Manhattan Project to save the planet that salvaging an at least livable, though probably less than desirable, planet might be doable.

Laughably perhaps I can hope that the recent hurricane evacuations for both Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate and Rush Limbaugh’s beachfront properties in Florida might turn into teachable moments. That however does not seem likely.

My go to person around all things climate change and how this is intimately tied to capitalism specifically is Naomi Klein.

I highly recommend her two most recent works: This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate and “NO is Not Enough” subtitle “Resisting Trump’s Shock Politics and Winning The World We Want”. Here is a link to these works and Naomi in general: http://www.naomiklein.org/meet-naomi

It isn’t that the Donald Trump’s and Rush Limbaugh’s of the world don’t believe in climate change, I actually expect they do. It is that they realize better than many of us that the only effective possibility for addressing this catastrophe is a direct threat to their worldview and way of life. That their greedy accumulation of goods and capital will save them from the resulting hell-scape in the end is truly delusional thinking on their part.

I feel the only viable solution being an acceptance of the socialist ethos: From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

© October 2017

About the Author

I was born in La Porte, Indiana in 1949, raised on a farm and schooled by Holy Cross nuns. The bulk of my adult life, some 40 plus years, was spent in Denver, Colorado as a nurse, gardener and gay/AIDS activist. I have currently returned to Denver after an extended sabbatical in San Francisco, California.

Curious, by Louis Brown

Ionesco, Lewis Carroll, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Eugène Ionesco, La Cantatrice chauve

Eugène Ionesco (born Eugen Ionescu, Romanian: 26 November 1909 – 28 March 1994) was a Romanian-French playwright who wrote mostly in French, and one of the foremost figures of the French Avant-garde theatre [well, the theater of the abusrd]. Beyond ridiculing the most banal situations, Ionesco’s plays depict the solitude and insignificance of human existence in a tangible way.

[la cantatrice sings operatic songs or national anthems whereas une chanteuse sings pop songs. Edith Piaff was a chanteuse. That explains the translation “soprano’]

Mr. MARTIN : Depuis que je suis arrivé à Londres, j’habite rue Bromfleld, chère Madame.

Mme MARTIN : Comme c’est curieux, comme c’est bizarre ! moi aussi, depuis mon arrivée à Londres j’habite rue Bromfleld, cher Monsieur.

Mr. MARTIN : Comme c’est curieux, mais alors, mais alors, nous nous sommes peut-être rencontrés rue Bromfleld, chère Madame.

Mme MARTIN : Comme c’est curieux ; comme c’est bizarre ! c’est bien possible, après tout ! Mais je ne m’en souviens pas, cher Monsieur.

Mr. MARTIN : Je demeure au N° 19, chère Madame.

Mme MARTIN : Comme c’est curieux, moi aussi j’habite au N° 19, cher Monsieur.

Mr. MARTIN : Mais alors, mais alors, mais alors, mais alors, mais alors, nous nous sommes peut-être vus dans cette maison, chère Madame !

Mme MARTIN : C’est bien possible, mais je ne m’en souviens pas, cher Monsieur.

Mr. MARTIN : Mon appartement est au cinquième étage, c’est le numéro 8, chère Madame.

Mme MARTIN Comme c’est curieux, mon Dieu, comme c’est bizarre ! et quelle coïncidence ! moi aussi j’habite au cinquième étage, dans l’appartement numéro 8, cher Monsieur !

Mr. MARTIN ( songeur ) : Comme c’est curieux, comme c’est curieux, comme c’est curieux et quelle coïncidence! vous savez, dans ma chambre à coucher j’ai un lit. Mon lit est couvert d’un édredon vert. Cette chambre, avec ce lit et son édredon vert, se trouve au fond du corridor, entre les water et la bibliothèque, chère madame !

Mme MARTIN : Quelle coïncidence, ah mon Dieu, quelle coïncidence ! Ma chambre à coucher a, elle aussi, un lit avec un édredon vert et se trouve au fond du corridor, entre les water, cher Monsieur, et la bibliothèque !

Mr. MARTIN : Comme c’est bizarre, curieux, étrange ! alors. Madame, nous habitons dans la même chambre et si nous dormons dans le même lit, chère Madame. C’est peut-être là que nous nous sommes rencontrés.

Mme MARTIN : Comme c’est curieux et quelle coïncidence! C’est bien possible que nous nous y soyons rencontrés, et peut-être même la nuit dernière. Mais je ne m’en souviens pas, cher Monsieur !

Mr. MARTIN : J’ai une petite fille, ma petite fille, elle habite avec moi, chère Madame. Elle a deux ans, elle est blonde, elle a un œil blanc et un œil rouge, elle est très jolie, elle s’appelle Alice, chère Madame.

Mme MARTIN : Quelle bizarre coïncidence ! moi aussi j’ai une petite fille, elle a deux ans, un œil blanc et un œil rouge, elle est très jolie et s’appelle aussi Alice, cher Monsieur !

Mr. MARTIN : ( Même voix traînante, monotone ). Comme c’est curieux et quelle coïncidence ! et bizarre ! c’est peut-être la même, chère Madame !

Lewis Carroll

CHAPTER II (Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll “Alice in Wonderland” redirects here. For other uses, see Alice in Wonderland (disambiguation). Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is a novel by Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson), published on 4 July 1865

The Pool of Tears

‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); ‘now I’m opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!’ (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). ‘Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I’m sure I shan’t be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you can; –but I must be kind to them,’ thought Alice, `or perhaps they won’t walk the way I want to go! Let me see: I’ll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.’

Alice stretched tall.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle


The curious Sherlock Holmes and the curious Dr. Watson, both found many curious clues in their murder investigations. Agatha Christie also found curious clues, curious inconsistencies that led her to discover the identity of a victim’s true killer. It is the favorite adjective of the British murder mystery genre and tradition.

© 11 December 2017

About the Author

I was born in 1944, I lived most of my life in New York City, Queens County. I still commute there. I worked for many years as a Caseworker for New York City Human Resources Administration, dealing with mentally impaired clients, then as a social work Supervisor dealing with homeless PWA’s. I have an apartment in Wheat Ridge, CO. I retired in 2002. I have a few interesting stories to tell. My boyfriend Kevin lives in New York City. I graduated Queens College, CUNY, in 1967.

Clearly, by Gillian

Looking back over my life, at least the first forty or so years of it, very clearly I saw very little very clearly; both literally and figuratively.

From an early age I wore very thick glasses. Some time in my early to mid-forties I had laser surgery and discovered what seeing clearly really meant. Tests had always shown that I had 20/20 vision via my glasses, but it never offered the clarity with which I saw the world after that surgery. I cried tears of joy the next morning when I realized that I could lie in bed and clearly see the trees outside my window without first needing to grope around on my bedside table for my glasses. Betsy had to walk round the block with me when I first left the house, I was so disoriented. Everything seemed to jump up to meet me; too clear and too big and too close.

Twenty-five or so years later, my eyesight is deteriorating a little, and recently I discovered I have glaucoma, so perhaps my days of seeing so very clearly will be disappearing. Already I wear drugstore glasses for reading. That’s OK. I am just so grateful that I have not lived my entire life without ever knowing the real meaning of seeing clearly.

Oh, and how sincerely I mean that in the figurative sense as well. I could, I guess, have gone through my whole life without ever clearly seeing myself. Many have, many do, and many will in the future. And, yes, I am primarily talking about being GLBT but not that alone. Seeing yourself clearly, with all your complexities, is a serious life-long challenge. There’s an old Robert Burns poem which wishes that we all might have the gift to see ourselves as others see us. Sorry, Robbie, but I don’t see a solution there. Every one of you at this table sees me differently so I cannot imagine much more confusing than trying to see myself as every person I ever meet might see me. On the other hand, when I eventually came out to co-workers and friends there were a few who responded with well duh! looks or well I knew that kind of comments so if I’d seen myself as they saw me I might not have had to wait till my early forties to see it clearly for myself.

A good analogy of my coming-out-to-myself process I now see, looking back on it, as trying to see myself clearly via various visual depictions of myself. You know that famous Malevich painting, ‘The Black Square’? One version of it sold for the equivalent of a million dollars and, with due apologies to all sincere fans of purely abstract works, to me it looks like nothing more than a black square. Well, the first twenty or so years of my life, I might as well have been trying to see myself in that black square. Or as that black square. The more I looked the less I saw of me; hadn’t a clue. Or probably in fact the last thing I really wanted to see was me, and I was perfectly happy to see nothing more than a black square. By my late twenties I maybe had progressed to a vision of myself more akin to Suprematist Composition by the same artist, a jumble of confusion which I actually quite like, if not to the extent of the sixty million dollars for which it sold. I have always quite liked myself, but certainly saw myself as a jumbled confusion at this stage.

In my thirties I progressed to around the expressionism of Munch’s ‘The Scream’. Far from a realistic portrait but nevertheless clearly a scream – something I was feeling ready for about then. I was awash with frustration without knowing why. My life was good – no, it was great – so why wasn’t I satisfied? By my late thirties I had reached impressionism. You know, Monet’s water lilies etcetera, very clearly waterlilies but nevertheless a bit fuzzy.

And suddenly, in my early forties, I took one huge step for womankind; well – for me, anyway.

I saw myself as clearly as in any realist painting but more so. I saw the reality of my queerness with all the clarity of an award-winning National Geographic megapixel photograph.

But that, great breakthrough though it was, was all about being lesbian. I still had plenty more to look deeply into if I was truly to get a clear view of my whole self; all of me.

This group has been of immeasurable help in propelling me to dig really deep inside, to try to really see and understand what’s there and to be at peace with all of it – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Perhaps it explains the lack of appeal which purely abstract art has for me, and at the same time why I love photography. A photo can be so terrible it makes me cry or so beautiful it makes me cry, but I don’t have to wonder what it is, just as I no longer have to wonder who and what I am. I am here, I am queer, and I’m perfectly clear!

© November 2017

About the Author

I was born and raised in England. After graduation from college there, I moved to the U.S. and, having discovered Colorado, never left. I have lived in the Denver-Boulder area since 1965, working for 30 years at IBM. I married, raised four stepchildren, then got divorced after finally, in my forties, accepting myself as a lesbian. I have been with my wonderful partner Betsy for thirty years. We have been married since 2013.

My Favorite Literary Character, by Betsy

Using “literary” in its broadest meaning I have had several favorites. They always seem to be the Wonder woman types. Women who can solve problems single-handedly, certainly take care of themselves, handle themselves heroically in crisis situations, and always come out on top. Yet they have human frailties as well–just so we know they are not actually other-worldly. In my youth Nancy Drew was one. Today my hero of choice is Anna Pigeon, Park Ranger. Anna has all the traits I admire: she is a nature lover, a steward of the natural environment, strong, independent, smart, able to figure things out, courageous, but always struggling with her human vulnerabilities.

Nevada Barr, Anna’s creator, is a very successful writer. She has won many awards for her books of the last three decades. She became interested in the environment and started working summers for the National Park Service as a Park Ranger. And so is her character Anna Pigeon a National Park Service ranger, working in law enforcement. The Anna pigeon series of 18 books begins in Guadalupe National Park and takes the reader into as many national parks from desert to the Great Lakes.

Anna’s exploits are always based on some environmental issue. Her stories often have an unexpected twist, but Anna always gets the bad guy, often showing up the local law enforcement officials a la Jessica Fletcher in Murder She Wrote. Ms. Barr aways offers lots of suspense and excitement and a good look at the parks in which her stories take place.

Nevada Barr’s first novel published in 1984 was interestingly about two lesbians. It appears Ms. Barr is not a lesbian and probably learned early on that marketing to a lesbian readership would be severely limiting. But curious that she started out in this vein. I recently borrowed the book, Bittersweet, from the library as I have not ever read it.

Anna pigeon was created in 1993 in Track of the Cat which takes place in Guadalupe National Park. In the ensuing years her adventures take us to such exotic places as Yosemite, Rocky Mountain Park, The Natchez Trace, The Carlsbad Caverns of NM, The Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island National Monument, Isle Royal in Lake Superior NP, Glacier NP to name a few of her favorite places. Her favorite places and mine. Perhaps that has something to do with my enjoyment of the books.

But it’s not just the settings of the stories. One gets to know and love certain people in Anna’s life quite well after reading just a few of these books. Anna’s dead actor husband who was killed in an accident crops up in Anna’s thoughts rather regularly. She struggles with the grief of losing him for many years and finds herself struggling with the temptation to drink too much alcohol for the rest of her life. Her sister Molly, a New York psychiatrist is a constant mentor and colorful personality as are the many associates in the park service with whom she works.

Gill and I were particularly thrilled when we saw in Hard Truth which takes place in RMNP that Barr had chosen for her main character a friend of ours, Toby, who is sadly no longer living. When Nevada Barr was in Estes Park researching her next book she met Toby, a woman severely disabled by rheumatoid arthritis and wheel-chair bound. The author was so impressed with our dynamic friend she based the main character of her new book on this woman.

Ms. Barr, who herself worked for the park service before she started writing books, paints for the reader a picture of the politics, the heroes and the villains, the secrets and favors, the drudgery and the incredible stress that goes on from day to day in a job in that agency of the government.

In the following two decades Anna serves in about 16 other National Parks. By 2009 Anna, now married but still a Park Ranger, is aging along with her new husband. In Barr’s 15th book our heroine is on leave and the couple is in Big Bend National Park. Although she is older Anna still has the qualities I admired in her in the beginning. I’m glad that she too is aging, along with me. There is something unreal about a character who does not age with time. Such a character is private investigator Kinsey Milhone, the creation of Sue Grafton in the alphabet mysteries starting with A is for Alibi, etc. I believe Grafton is now up to V or so. A very ambitious pursuit –a mystery novel for every letter of the alphabet. I enjoy those books very much too. But Nevada Barr’s Ranger Pigeon is my favorite.

Gill and I have visited most of the Parks in which Anna Pigeon appears. Many times in anticipation of a visit we borrow the audiobook from the library and start out on the road listening to the book which features the park we are about to visit. Perhaps this is one reason I enjoy these books so much. We can get a preview of the park while being entertained with a great story. Then while enjoying the park we can let our imaginations soar because we now know all that goes on behind the scenes underneath the natural beauty of the park features, now we know the sometimes ugly reality of the lives led by the park employees and visitors.

I am not a qualified judge, but I do not consider Nevada Barr’s books to be of superior or lasting artistic merit. If I were a student of literature, I am quite sure I would pick for my favorite a more classic, universal character, but I presently am not a student of literature. There are many more books out there that I have not read than books I have read, so who knows how many other characters might exist whom I have never met. I like to read books that are relaxing to read and fun to read. Books that feature characters whom I admire. Among those whom I have met Anna Pigeon is that character.

© 10 March 2014

About the Author

Betsy has been active in the GLBT community including PFLAG, the Denver Women’s Chorus, OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change), and the GLBT Community Center. She has been retired from the human services field for 20 years. Since her retirement, her major activities have included tennis, camping, traveling, teaching skiing as a volunteer instructor with the National Sports Center for the Disabled, reading, writing, and learning. Betsy came out as a lesbian after 25 years of marriage. She has a close relationship with her three children and four grandchildren. Betsy says her greatest and most meaningful enjoyment comes from sharing her life with her partner of 30 years, Gillian Edwards.

Cooking, by Ricky

Speaking generally, Eisenhower, Bradley, Patton, Marshall, DeGaul, Montgomery, Julius, and I don’t cook; I mostly eat things cooked by others.

I do make a wonderful meatloaf. That is, occasionally it is wonderful. My meatloaf really was wonderful, once. I could never duplicate the recipe as there really wasn’t one; only general guidelines with one secret ingredient. I make it just like my mother did. When she added the spices and “fillers,” she added a little of this and some of that, of whichever spices and fillers were actually on hand in the cupboard.

For one year, I was a “house-husband” in Florida while Deborah, my wife, worked. My children and I ate lots of fried ground hamburger mixed with eggs and corn or peas. I was okay, but the kids grew very tired of it rather quickly. I varied the meals with spaghetti to avoid making excessively boring meals. Of course, I also did my meatloaf with vegetables. The meals must have turned out okay because the kids grew and no one got sick or died.

Earlier this year, I made a lemon-meringue pie from scratch, except for the store-bought crust. I followed a recipe from a cookbook and it came out picture-and-taste perfect.

Years ago, while in the Boy Scouts, I learned to cook enough to pass my Tenderfoot badge requirements. After just one campout trying to cook on a fire using the aluminum mess kit, I decided there must a better way!

The annoying problem with cooking with a mess kit is the cleanup afterwards. I followed the recommendation of the Scout Handbook and coated the bottom of my kit with rubbings from a bar of soap to make the removal of soot easier. I don’t believe it helped at all but if it did, I would hate to clean one that had no soap applied in advance.

After that experience, I discovered aluminum foil cooking. So from then on, I wrapped cut carrots, potatoes, and a hamburger patty in foil and placed it on hot coals until done. I made the meals at home and carried them to the campsite for cooking. No fuss. No cleanup mess. I was back to all the fun stuff in minimal time.

Within a year, I was the Senior Patrol Leader and the oldest boy in the troop. At that point, the Scoutmaster, his assistant, and the occasional father would not only cook for themselves but also for me. I was in scout hog-heaven.

The recent movie, Moonrise Kingdom with its reference to Khaki Scouts makes me nostalgic for those halcyon days of Boy Scouting in my youth – full of energy, no significant cares, out in the fresh-air, having fun, learning or honing new skills, challenging activities, minor cuts & scrapes, meals flavored with nature’s “trail-seasonings,” competitions with other troops, campfire sing-a-longs with ghost-stories or perhaps other stories even some you wouldn’t want your mother to hear about, and probably knowing that the younger scouts looked-up to me as if I were their “nice” older brother.

My heart and head long for those days to become real again, so the memories of them are truly precious to me representing, as they do, the happiest times of my youth.

© 19 November 2012

About the Author

I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach. Just prior to turning 8 years old in 1956, I began living with my grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents divorced.

When united with my mother and stepfather two years later in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11 terrorist attack.

I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. I find writing these memories to be therapeutic.

My story blog is TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com

My First GLBT Acquaintance, Ray S

In my Book of Standards, little boys were supposed to
have sports heroes, like baseball, football, Jack Armstrong, and the guys that
had their pictures on the Wheaties box.
No, not me. My heroes and role models were male movie
stars. At the time in my adolescent years I wasn’t aware that these crushes
were the signs of my beginning acquaintance with what became of my life’s
journey on the road to homosexuality. Little did I know, nor did I question,
why I found these men appealing and attractive, but these acquaintances lived
quietly in my pre-teen subconscious.
There was Franchot Tone, Clark Gable’s second mate on
Charles Laughton’s “Bounty.” Never did care for Tom Mix or Gene Autry, but give
me Randolph Scott anytime. Then there was a guy named Lou McAlister—“the boy
next door.” By this time I was beginning to wonder: did he like boys too?
All this time it was my imagination creating these
illusions that did not register as latent gayness. That developed shortly
thereafter, upon the arrival of slow but sure puberty.
“First Acquaintance.” Looking back so many years, it
is hard to remember which “first.” This is like so many other impertinent
questions posed to a newly “out” GLBT person—and you want to reply with “None
of your damned business” or proceed to bore the questioner with your life
story. TMI.
Let’s see, does First Acquaintance mean actual
physical contact or maybe talking about IT with a like-minded shy and timid boy?
All that fooling around with your cousin of the neighbor boy when you were 6 or
7 years old doesn’t count. It wasn’t’ a heart to heart talk with the priest or
some other spiritual counselor. In fact, the first instance may have been your
“first” but I avoided clergy at all costs, and the same can be said for Boy
Scout leaders.
There was a chance encounter at a movie house in
Richmond, VA. I was stationed there during the war, after I had finished basic
training. A teenaged U. S. Navy boy sat next to me in the darkened theatre and
I noticed somehow our knees began to become acquainted.
As I stated before the rest is none of your damned
business!
© 17 July 2017 
About the Author 

Tears, by Phillip Hoyle

I’m writing a memoir about my too-brief relationship
with Rafael Martínez who provided me my first experience of falling deeply,
hopelessly in love. Part of my preparation has been to study what writing
teachers say about memoir and, just as important, to read several memoirs. I
read Frank McCourt’s Tis, Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind,
Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays with Morrie, several excerpts from other memoirs,
and am currently reading Paul Monette’s Borrowed Time.
I began the Rafael project years ago but realized I
was not yet ready to deal with organizing and writing about the experience of
love and loss. The grief was too keenly edged for me to be honest about myself
and fair to everyone else. The events took place fifteen years ago.
Two years ago I started readdressing the project. About
three weeks ago I started reading Monette’s AIDS memoir, a book I had read
years ago. I hoped I might learn a lot. A wealthy gay couple living in southern
California, Ivy League educated, driving around in a Jaguar, an attorney, a
Hollywood film writer living a rather high life seemed like a lot to take in. I
wondered if this story would even touch me.
By contrast, Rafael was HIV positive and poor, helped
a lot by Colorado AIDS Project. His doctors estimated he had about eight years
to go, but what they didn’t know was that he had full-term Hepatitis C. It was
diagnosed only three weeks before it killed him. Monette, while not my favorite
gay writer, skillfully took me to their home, clinic after clinic, test after
test, all experiences I knew too well for I went to such places with two friends
and with two lovers—just not in a Jaguar. Writing about Rafael while reading
this book opened my tear ducts, and I wondered: did I not cry enough fifteen
years ago? It seems likely.
My early weeks with Rafael showed how much we loved
one another and how practical and romantic we could be. I told him I would like
to meet his family before he ended up in the hospital. I was earnest though we
laughed. We thought we had time, but we were wrong. Too soon he was in the
hospital. There I met his younger brother, a very nice Mexican man who came north
on behalf of the family. The parents had learned that Rafael was gay and HIV
positive only six weeks before this hospitalization. The family’s life was in
crisis. Rafael got out of the hospital but then went back in with another
problem. Eventually more of the family arrived. I was caught between my lover
and his family; between Rafael’s insistence that they treat the two of us as a
family of our own, they being guests in our home, and what I saw so clearly in
his mother and father, the needs of shocked parents facing an illness they
didn’t understand and the possibility of losing their son altogether. In short,
I was pushed into an interpretive role of supporting both my lover and his
parents and siblings. I walked that tightrope, one that my ministerial experience
had so well prepared me to walk. And I was helpful. I cried but not much; there
were too many other people needing to be consoled and reasoned with and their
English was so poor and my Spanish functionally nonexistent.
We made it through. I helped them as Rafael was dying.
Still Rafael was strong and helpful and insistent. I was so proud of him. He
took care of his family. He reached out to nurses who were having difficulty.
He reached out to me. And of course, I cried, but not very much, not enough I now
am sure.
I’m carefully reading Monette’s scenes of bedsides,
hospital corridors, tests, last minute trips to favorite places, accommodation
to losses. I read; tears gather and fall.
I’m crying now.
© 16 Oct 2017  
About the Author  
Phillip Hoyle lives in Denver and spends his
time writing, painting, and socializing. In general, he keeps busy with groups
of writers and artists. Following thirty-two years in church work and fifteen
in a therapeutic massage practice, he now focuses on creating beauty. He
volunteers at The Center leading the SAGE program “Telling Your Story.”
He also blogs at artandmorebyphilhoyle.blogspot.com