An Ode to a Toad by Bobbi

Oh, Dr. Laura, now you’re
mistaken

I was married but not
forsaken.

I met my first woman-love at
45;

Oh, how good it was to feel
alive.

Now Dr. Laura don’t be cruel

At 14 I loved a girl.

I know that someone gave me
a hex;

‘cause I fell in love with
the wrong sex.

Dr. Laura, I really pouted.

“Fairy, queer” were words
they shouted.

Oh, God, help me because I’m
Jewish

And I shouldn’t do anything
so foolish.

Oh, Dr. Laura, I took some
pills.

Wish you had been there to
cure my ills.

Then I decided to be a phony

And marched down the aisle
to matrimony.

Dr. Laura you’d be so proud

In my white gown and what a
crowd!

As I was walking in that big
room

I was smiling at my …..

Oy vey, it was my maid of
honor, not the groom!

Oy, Dr. Laura it was a
blast,

But the marriage it didn’t
last.

For 20 years I tried
another;

After all a Jewish girl has
got to please her mother.

Oh, Dr. Laura get a clue.

You want families

I do too.

And I’ve got one to name a
few:

Max, Jeanetter, Karen and
Pete, Spencer, Rawls, Goobers and

Beebles, Gary, Daric, Frick
and Frack, Julie and Robert, Todd and Papa,

And my sweetheart of 13
years: Linda, Linda.

And Dr. Laura, We Are
Family!

So, Dr. Laura, get a life,
girlfriend.