Tag: A Defining Word

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A Defining Word, by Ricky

People use words to communicate.  In spite of a few of my acquaintances whom
never refer to me as a person, person of interest or disinterest, I use words
to communicate.  It behooves all people
to communicate accurately by using words whose meaning everyone
understands.  Those of us who have (or
still have at our senior age) a large vocabulary and can actually remember the
words when we need them, hold a big advantage over those persons with a limited
vocabulary – this category does not include young children whose minds are
trans sponge and cis blackholes.  Any
parent can testify to the reality of that fact. 
Perhaps you can remember a time when you were small or when your young
child accurately used or asked for the meaning of a “colorful” word while your mother was standing nearby – words
like: shit, cock, fuck, bitch, son-of-a-bitch, gay, lesbian, homo, or
pervert.  A child’s vocabulary expands
very rapidly indeed.  Especially when
following a child’s inquiry, the adult blurts out “Where the hell did you hear that word?”  The answer is nearly always, “From you
Daddy.”  At this point, you get a very
very stern look from your mother who
is still standing nearby.  (Add “hell” to
the previous word list.)  By the way,
does anyone know why little children seem to delight in saying those words at
the most embarrassing time, place, and circumstance?
While growing up from age 10 forward, I spent many hours of
my summer vacation from school reading for recreation to pass the time I consumed
babysitting my twin brother and sister.  I
had many opportunities to interrogate a dictionary to obtain the meaning of a
word, if I could not deduce its meaning from the context of the usage.
If I didn’t know how to spell a word in elementary school, my
teachers would always tell me to look it up in the dictionary.  I always retorted, “How can I look it up if I
don’t know how to spell it?”  I finally
quit asking and just tried to figure out a way to write my assignment without
using that particular word.
At one time I was a good speller.  I never won the class spelling bee but I was
often 2nd.  When I graduated
high school, my ability to spell began to fade away.  Now I depend on my computer’s ability to know
what I am trying to communicate and to spell all the words correctly and place
them into proper grammatical position. 
I’ve discovered that usually the computer and I are both week in the
grammar area.
Communicating by pronouncing words correctly (making allowances
for regional dialects and not writing a homonym for the correct word) is
equally important for presenting a positive image to others along with having
your message correctly understood. 
Perhaps you can remember President George W. Bush’s mangling of English
(some may call it misspeaking or misquoting). 
“Dubya” attended some prestigious schools:  Harvard Business School, Yale University, The
Kinkaid School, Phillips Academy, and Yale College.  Yet his mangling (there I said it again) of
the language does not reflect well on those institutions or upon the Texas
education system, which already has major problems of its own.  It goes without saying (but I’ll say it
anyway) it does not reflect well upon him either.
Words are used to label things and people.  However, labels do not define a thing.  Poorly paraphrasing Shakespeare, labeling a
rose a skunk, does not accurately call to mind its sweet smell.  Placing a label on a person does not
accurately define who or what that person is like and the danger of mislabeling
someone is all too great.  People are too
complex to be categorized by a label. 
Humans are more than just words.
I am tired of writing on this topic so here is the defining
word of the day, “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”.  If you don’t know what it means, look it up
in a dictionary or just watch Disney’s “Mary Poppins”.
© 22 Feb 2016 
About the Author 
I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale
and then in Redondo Beach.  Just prior to
turning 8 years old in 1956, I was sent to live with my grandparents on their
farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents
divorced.
When united with my mother and stepfather two years later
in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California,
graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force,
I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until
her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11-2001
terrorist attack.
I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.   I find writing these memories to be
therapeutic.
My story blog is: TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com 
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A Defining Word, by Ray S

Words are wondrous. They can say very much or they will tell
nothing. For instance:
Perhaps
Maybe
No or yes
Why, when and where
Radical and conservative
Gay and straight
Bi- and trans
Black and white
Under the heading of often used four-letter words:

Love
Lust
The “F word,” short for fornication,
sin or fun
The “S word,” short for natural
fertilizer
Did you ever wonder about the people locked up in windowless
padded cells that invent the pretentious words to the different brands of
automobiles? What is a lexus, elantra, exterra, ultima, infinity, passat,
tourage, cayenne, cayman, etc., etc.
What about all of those wonder drugs?

Cealis or Viagra
All the antacid remedies
Sleeping pills with names that are unpronounceable along with all their side effects
Call your doctor if it lasts longer than four hours or
doesn’t solve your distress in four hours.
I have fallen in love with that good looking everyone’s, man
or woman, hotel bedroom partner especially when the sponsor’s name flashes on
the TV screen.  No, it isn’t Viagra, but
something else like Chivgro??? Never mind, the sponsor’s name; just see if we
can get the number of that vitally mature handsome senior citizen.
This list could go on forever, but I’m afraid there is far
too much for me to define for you, so when you’re completely out of anything
better to do, you can take my place and define whatever you may choose to, and
“Happy trails” oops that has eleven letters. Better try “ciao,” (definition, good
bye.)
© 22
February 2016 
About the Author 
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A Defining Word, by Will Stanton

OK, so I know that two words are a term, not a word; but that is what I have chosen to write about, a term: “sexual preference.” I have chosen those two words because, over the years, they have been used so much, yet they certainly are not defining words.

Yes, I know what people usually mean when they employ that term when asking, “What is your sexual preference?” Most likely, they mean “straight or gay.” I usually answer, “I’m not sure. It’s hard for me to choose between blond or brunette. One day, I lean toward blond; yet, on other days, I’m drawn to dark-brown hair, maybe even black.”
A person’s preference may have little to do with sexual identity. For one example, I can conceive of a person born homosexual whose preference would be to be heterosexual. And of course, someone’s preference might be to a person of the opposite gender.
In addition, a person’s preference may be a partner who is young, or old, same race or different race, very good-looking or, instead, a very good person, looks being of less importance. Many gay guys seem to be preoccupied with the size of male genitalia. Other people could not care less, placing far more importance on someone’s other attributes.
In order to avoid confusion or misinterpretation, I prefer communication to be as precise as possible. Therefore, because genetics and brain structure are major determinants of each person’s drives and attractions, I suggest that the more logical term should be “sexual orientation;” and this is what I use if the subject comes up in conversation. Even then, that term is not completely defining, for people are complex and of varied natures.
And, as long as we are talking about commonly used terms, a little bell goes off each time I hear the frequently used term “bisexual.” My having involved myself for several decades in human behavioral treatment, the term “bisexual” always connotes for me a possible biological influence in someone’s nature or physical structure. After all, human sexuality is not binary, that is, either heterosexual or homosexual. Someone’s nature or orientation lies somewhere on a linear graph. For those individuals who may engage in sexual relations with people of both heterosexual and homosexual orientation, perhaps a more accurate term would be “ambisexual,” rather like in baseball, a “switch-hitter.” Or, if you would enjoy something more humorous, you might use the term “heteroflexible.”
Finally, generally I avoid popular, overused labels when describing people. People are far too varied and complex. Labeling people hinders the process of getting to know and truly understand someone. Besides, for those persons fortunate enough to have become self-actualized and broad in their interests, sexual orientation is only one part of a human, complex personality.
© 02 February 2016

About the Author

I have had a life-long fascination with people and their life stories. I also realize that, although my own life has not brought me particular fame or fortune, I too have had some noteworthy experiences and, at times, unusual ones. Since I joined this Story Time group, I have derived pleasure and satisfaction participating in the group. I do put some thought and effort into my stories, and I hope that you find them interesting.

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A Defining Word, by Gillian

We need some new words; new defining words.

But we’re creating them daily, probably hourly, I can hear you thinking. And that’s fair enough. Just how recently did I adopt, or adapt to, words like server and processor, not to mention bits and bytes and firewalls and apps. But those are all techie terms. I’m talking about sociological terminology which seems to be mired in the mud of decades.

I find it very strange, for instance, that in the English language there is no word for a parent who has lost a child. We dignify the situation of one who has lost both parents with the noun orphan. You lose your spouse, you’re a widow or widower.

But surely the loss of a child is one of the worst things that can happen to a person, and yet our language offers no linguistic easy way out. A wife who has lost her husband can simply say, I’m a widow, and leave it at that if she wants. But a parent must stumble through some agonizing sentence, even if one as clipped as, I lost my only son.

The author Karla Holloway, in an essay on NPR back in 2006, addressed this topic.* She expressed it as needing to ‘name the pain’ in order to assist in healing. I saw what the loss of two children, before I was born, did to my parents in the long-term. I wonder, had there been a single word to express what had happened to them, if they might have found a way to tell me, instead of leaving it to my aunt eventually to clarify for me the presence of that huge elephant never absent from our home.

There is considerable on-line chat (surprise, surprise!) on this topic, and from it I discovered that few languages have such a word. The exceptions are, apparently, the semitic languages. German has an expression I find very touching, it translates literally as ‘orphaned parent’ but still it is not incorporated into a single word. Why is a single word that sums up this horrific situation so rare?

A few ideas are offered on line. Some suggest that it is only recently that infant mortality has dropped sufficiently to make it an unusual situation for a child to pre-decease his/her parents. That does offer a certain uncomfortable logic I suppose, but I don’t see how it translates into the absence of a word. Someone else offered the explanation that, with it having been such a common situation until recent times, and still being sadly frequent in much of the world, having a word for it would be redundant, like, this person, obviously a MAN, says ‘having a word for a man with a penis.’ The insensitivity of this analogy angers me, but then if I am going to be so precious I need to stay away from posts on the internet.

Another, herself a bereaved mother, suggests that it is something too terrible to be put into words. I sympathize with the idea, but we have words for so many still worse things, just take infanticide and genocide for instance, that I can’t go along with that explanation either.

Others believe the absence of the word is due to the broader social insignificance of the event. Becoming an orphan, widow, or widower, changes a person’s status in society, whereas losing a child does not. I find that incredibly hard and cold, and don’t want to believe it. Are we, the majority of the world’s population, so calculating that we only see sorrowful events which change people’s lives in the light of how they might affect us? Now we might have to support that child, give that widow a pension, or marry that widower. But we are not affected by the death of a friend’s child so consider it unimportant? Even at my most cynical, I truly don’t believe that most of us are so uncaring; so unaffected by the sorrows of our friends and neighbors, or even complete strangers.

So I remain simply baffled by the lack of this, what I consider very important, word. Someone on line suggests adopting the word ‘shadow’ because anyone who has lost a child becomes a shadow of his or her former self. Personally, I like it. It certainly describes my own parents. I have so often wished there were some way that I could know what they were like before they lost two children. But I can only extrapolate from the parents I knew, and from old photographs in which they looked so much happier than I ever saw them in my lifetime.

But I don’t expect this or any other word to appear in general use any time soon. Only technology will continue to toss new words at us faster than we can grasp them, and I shall go on struggling with Dvi/Hdmi adapters and why my Thunderbolt port doesn’t work and does it matter? Or maybe I have a vga port and does that matter?

And are these all defining words? Only my computer knows for sure.

* http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5511147

A postscript from Gillian –

After I read this to our group, Ray S. suggested using a new adjective rather than a noun.

Just as we say ‘childless’ of a person or couple without children, we could say ‘childloss’ of those who have suffered that terrible bereavment.

Thank you, Ray, I find that moving and beautiful in it’s simplicity.

© February 2016

About the Author

I was born and raised in England. After graduation from college there, I moved to the U.S. and, having discovered Colorado, never left. I have lived in the Denver-Boulder area since 1965, working for 30 years at IBM. I married, raised four stepchildren, then got divorced after finally, in my forties, accepting myself as a lesbian. I have been with my wonderful partner Betsy for thirty years. We have been married since 2013.