Train Trips, by Phillip Hoyle

As a child I liked to go to Coronado
Park on South Washington Street to ride the miniature train. It puffed around
the perimeter of the park back then and to me seemed as real as could be, an
adventure of movement, a fascination with technology, a feeling of the wind on
one’s face while traveling at imagined breakneck speed. I’m sure I thought of
bandits or Indians like in some western movies I had seen. Of course the kiddy
train was tiny compared with the big black steam engines that pulled box cars,
fuel cars, grain cars, and the like. It was tiny compared with the big Union
Pacific passenger trains that came into our station at Junction City, Kansas.
I also recall sitting on a large
train at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo up above Colorado Springs, a train that for
years took passengers from the zoo to the Shrine to the Sun higher upon the
mountain. To four-year-old me it seemed gigantic but still would have looked puny
next to the Union Pacific trains back home. I was decked out in my western wear
at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. Back home I would simply be a little boy, but
even at home the railroad loomed large. My grade-school best friend’s father
was an oil man on the Union Pacific and greeted and lubricated all the trains
on his daily shifts. I fantasized taking a trip by train, a real one that led
to something new.
One Sunday morning many, many years
later, a Sunday morning that turned traumatic for our mid-Missouri congregation,
I heard a train whistle blow as if to call me away.  That morning the senior minister Jack McInnis
died. He and I had worked with the church for seven years. My only thought was to
get on that train and get out of there. I did so two years later when I booked
a seat on the Southwest Chief to Albuquerque. But first I caught a ride on the
Amtrak that stopped at Jefferson City on its way to Kansas City. There I ran
around for a day with a dear friend to say goodbye.  
Finally, I got on the big train to
make my way west. At KC Union Station there was a long delay. We waited and
waited for the very late train. When we boarded, I got comfortable and waited
for the train to start moving. No go! I got out a book to read. (On trips I’m
always prepared to read.) I made my way through several chapters. Still the
train sat in the dark rail yard. Finally after three hours more the train took
off. There had been engine trouble. No quick fixes were available and no extra
engines could be substituted unless the train had been sitting on the track at Chicago
or Emeryville (near San Francisco)! We made our way across the Great Plains at
night.
Before I fell asleep I thought of my
Great Grandfather, Frederick Schmedemann, a German immigrant who in the late
1860s worked for the Union Pacific as its crews laid the first track across
Kansas. He cooked for the crew and during that time met William Cody who was
supplying meat for the workers at the expense of the vast and rapidly dwindling
buffalo population after which he was named. The family story says Buffalo Bill
was so pleased with the meal my great granddad prepared, he gave him a gold
piece. By the time I came along, though, there had been way too many
depressions in the US economy. The gold piece probably went towards improving
the farm or paid some doctor for caring for a family member with the flu. Who
knows? I never saw it, never heard any subsequent stories about it. Maybe it
was lost on a bet or paid for the first year’s coverage when crop insurance
first was introduced. There were such stories about those later days on the
farm, but no gold piece.
As the sun came up in mid-Kansas that
summer morning through the window I watched rabbits, deer, and groups of
domesticated cattle (no buffalo herds of course) and thought more about my
great grandfather, his new life in America, and the new life I was hoping to
begin in Albuquerque. Finally, I got a little breakfast, after which I returned
to my novel.
I felt sorry for elders on that trip
and for parents with little children. But when compared with wagon train travel
down the Santa Fe Trail, this mode of transportation was a breeze.  That afternoon, when we were starting up
Raton Pass, the train slowed to a stop and began backing up. The engineer
announced that a switch had failed. They would change it by hand to get us on
the sidetrack where we would be safe from the train hurtling down the pass
towards us now. When that train sped safely by, we still didn’t move. The
engineer said a computer engineer was on his way from La Junta, Co, to fix the
problem with the switch. I chose this time to clean up and shave so I’d look
good for my family. Finally, finally, finally we pulled into the Albuquerque
station where my family met me and drove me to our new apartment. The reunion
was grand, and a couple of days later I began a new job in that fair city.
© 22 July 2014 
About the Author 
 Phillip Hoyle
lives in Denver and spends his time writing, painting, and socializing. In
general he keeps busy with groups of writers and artists. Following thirty-two
years in church work and fifteen in a therapeutic massage practice, he now
focuses on creating beauty. He volunteers at The Center leading the SAGE
program “Telling Your Story.”
He also blogs at artandmorebyphilhoyle.blogspot.com

A Travelogue of Terror, by Phillip Hoyle

I suppose I’ve always held an
exaggerated sense of the word terror and an exaggerated sense of my own safety.
Still, I do recall one dark night thirty years ago when I realized some of the
big things might not go well. It was during a family trip to celebrate Christmas
in western Colorado. Packed into our VW Jetta, we left our home in mid-Missouri
stopping overnight at my parents’ home in central Kansas. The next morning we
continued on our way with my sixteen-year-old son Michael driving. I wanted him
to experience driving on a long trip since in my teen years I did the same
thing. I recall that while driving those long hours I had become used to where
the car was on the road and no longer had to calculate its position by keeping
the white marks on the right of the lane lined up with a certain point on the
fender. It worked for me and I hoped it would for him. He drove well, but on
our approach to Limon, Colorado, a light snow began to fall. “I’m not ready to
drive in this,” Michael announced, so he and I switched places. Like a good
navigator, he tuned in the radio for more information about the storm. Since it
was moving toward the southeast, I decided we should change from our plan to
drive through Colorado Springs and continue on I-70 through Denver and over the
mountains. I couldn’t imagine crossing the high plains country on US-24, a
two-lane highway that had always seemed rather narrow. I didn’t want to risk
getting stranded out there with its few small towns and few snowplows. Certainly
I didn’t want an accident. I hoped by going northwest we would drive out of the
storm.
The snow picked up just west of Limon
in that high country known for its terrible winds and difficult driving
conditions. In fact it became so bad we saw lots of semi’s jackknifed in the
ditches along the road. I had driven in snow many times, so confidently and
carefully we continued west. As we neared Denver the snow on the road got
deeper and deeper and the Interstate became nearly deserted. Since I didn’t
want to get stuck in Denver for Christmas, I proposed we stop briefly for
gasoline and a quick meal.
We got back on I-70 as evening darkened.
The snow kept falling, the driving conditions steadily worsened. As we started
into the foothills, I said to my family, “I’m going to follow that tan 4-wheel-drive
vehicle. Its big tires should keep a track open for us.” My idea worked well
enough. Then we were climbing the incline past Georgetown, still in the tracks
of another SUV. Entering the Eisenhower tunnel at the top of the divide gave me
a great sense of relief. With no snow falling, the windshield warmed up and I
felt calm; that is until we emerged into a whiteout with 20-miles-per-hour
winds and a minus 20° F temperature. Immediately the windshield frosted over.
All I could see were the out-of-focus red lights on the car in front of me. “See
those lights?” I told my family. “I’m going to follow them and hope for the
best.” That road is steep, a fact I was all too well aware of as I downshifted and
said my prayers.
We made it safely to the bottom of
the incline, exited the road at the first opportunity, and pulled into a
service station with a restroom. I ran inside only to find a long line of
people impatiently waiting to use the all-too-inadequate toilet facilities. The
terrifying ride into Denver, up the divide, and back down was bad, but the wait
in that line with the prospect of wetting my pants was for me an even greater
terror. By the time I got into the restroom, I was shaking. Some minutes later
more relaxed, a thankful man emerged. I ate some unhealthy but comforting snack
food, drank a Coca Cola, filled the gas tank, and gathered the family again to
travel on to Battlement Mesa. Thankfully the snow gave out on Vail Pass. The
snowplows kept that part of the road passable. We spent the night at the home
of one of my wife’s relatives before driving the rest of the way to Montrose the
next morning in full, dazzling, comforting sunlight.
That’s about as close to terror as I
have come, and I freely admit it was quite enough for me. Furthermore, I
realized far beyond the fears of driving snowy roads that needing to pee and
not being able to do so presented a new threat of terror to a middle-age man.
Now as an old man, I have known that terror way too often.
© 28 Oct 2014 
About the Author 
Phillip Hoyle
lives in Denver and spends his time writing, painting, and socializing. In
general he keeps busy with groups of writers and artists. Following thirty-two
years in church work and fifteen in a therapeutic massage practice, he now
focuses on creating beauty. He volunteers at The Center leading the SAGE
program “Telling Your Story.”
He also blogs
at artandmorebyphilhoyle.blogspot.com

Fondly Remembering Bernice by Donaciano Martinez

In a recent email message addressed as “Hello Manuelita” (my alias in Colorado’s underground gay subculture in the late 1950s and 1960s), I was notified that my friend Bernice passed away on January 13 from complications of high blood pressure following one or more strokes that caused extreme brain pressure for which doctors tried to relieve through surgery.

When I first met Bernice (alias in the gay underground subculture) in Colorado Springs in the 1960s, he was a teenager who had dropped out of high school and was studying to get his cosmetologist license from a beauty school that was located in the same block as the Chicano bar where my mother always worked ever since I was a little boy. Because the bar and beauty school were in the same block in downtown Colorado Springs, my mother and Bernice became acquainted long before I met Bernice. Upon talking to me in Spanish about him, my mother always referred to him as “Juanito” (little John) for his real name John.

After Bernice and I finally met, we immediately knew through our gay radar that both of us were gay. An effeminate gay man, Bernice had a great sense of humor and was fun to be around. Oh, my goodness, he could carry on during our many all-night social gatherings. The famous and outrageous drag queen Divine couldn’t hold a candle to the wit that Bernice had upon carrying on and on – everything from “Ooh La La” to “muchas meat” to refer to well-endowed men with whom he did the nasty. Shortly after I introduced him to several gay men in the underground subculture, he and my longtime friend Lolita (alias for Ricardo) became lovers. Because Bernice was estranged from his family and needed a place to stay, he stayed at my mother’s place for a while before moving in to a bigger house owned by Opal and her gay son Jerry.

My Chicano gay friends and I referred to him as “La Bernice” whenever we socialized. After getting his cosmetologist license, he got jobs in that profession at various beauty shops around town. My longtime Chicano gay friend Lorena (alias for Lorenzo), Bernice and I had a “night job” working for about one year as performers at a straight bar (of all places) that was patronized predominantly by straight military men from Fort Carson in Colorado Springs. Because drag was against the law in those days in the 1960s, we had to be extremely careful to conceal our male identities on stage and off stage. I was the choreographer of the many dance routines that Bernice, Lorena and I performed on stage at that straight bar located in the city’s extra-conservative district known as Ivywild adjacent to the super-wealthy district of Broadmoor. Yeah, I know, it was quite daring for us to do something outrageous right in the belly of the beast.

Because our performances at the aforementioned straight bar were risky enough, I was downright aghast when Bernice informed me that he was hired to perform as part of a chorus line of real-women dancers at the Purple Cow Bar (PCB) that was located at the entrance to the military base at Fort Carson. In addition to his day job as a “hair fairy” (gay parlance for cosmetologist), he worked his night job at PCB for over a year. Because he was so convincing as his female persona, his male identity never once was uncovered throughout the entire time he worked at that super-straight PCB.

Bernice is the one who introduced me to the military police officer with whom I had a very clandestine three-year-long relationship while I was a radical activist in several movements for social change. Because that was the era in which the U.S. military had a strict anti-gay policy, my partner’s position as a police officer required him to take special precautions while living with a radical activist who opposed the military draft and the U.S. war in Vietnam. We were keenly aware that any slip-up about our gay relationship would have resulted in my partner getting a dishonorable discharge and facing time in the stockade (military parlance for jail).

When Bernice moved away from Colorado Springs to the San Francisco Bay Area and later relocated to a peaceful rural area on the island of Maui in Hawaii, he always made an effort to keep in touch with me. He was a loyal friend to me and others who knew him down through the years. In addition to letters and cards several times a year, he also sent me wall calendars that were handmade by him. One year, he sent me a handmade colorful trinket that still hangs on the wall in my bedroom.

“If it wasn’t for John Henson, I don’t know what I would do,” wrote Bernice in letters to me about several health challenges he had the last few years of his life. Bernice always told me how he deeply appreciated the many efforts that John Henson (formerly of Colorado Springs in the 1960s, he has been a California resident for many years) made to fly to Maui in order to assist Bernice during periods of poor health. Their longtime friendship spanned six decades.

“After all he has been through, it is surprising that blood pressure was his downfall,” wrote John Henson in his “Hello Manuelita” email letter to let me know about the death of our beloved Bernice. “He will be missed,” added Henson upon expressing a sentiment that captures my own.

© 29 January 2014   


About the Author



Since 1964 Donaciano Martinez has been an activist in peace
and social justice movements in Colorado. His family was part of a big
migration of Mexican Americans from northern New Mexico to Colorado Springs in
the 1940s. He lived in Colorado Springs until 1975 and then moved to Denver,
where he still resides. He was among 20 people arrested and jailed in Colorado
Springs during a 1972 protest in support of the United Farm Workers union that
was co-founded by Cesar Chavez and Dolores Huerta. For his many years of
activism, Martinez received the 1998 Equality Award, 1999 Founders Award, 2000
Paul Hunter Award, 2001 Community Activist Award, 2005 Movement Veterans Award,
2006 Champion of Health Award, 2008 Cesar Chavez Award, 2013 Lifetime
Achievement Award, and the 2013 Pendleton Award. La Gente Unida, a nonprofit co-founded by Martinez, received the
2002 Civil Rights Award. The year 2014 marks the 50-year anniversary of his
volunteer work in numerous nonprofit situations.