Finding My Voice, by Ricky

When I was a baby, I had a voice and I used it often when I was awake and hungry or wet and hungry or smelly, wet, and hungry. Did I mention that I used it often at that age? The wailing I used as my voice was rewarded with attention, dryness, and food. It served me well for a few months when I realized that I needed a new voice. So, I switched from simple wailing to irritating screaming combined with sobbing, sniffling, and whimpering. I was well on the way to training my parents to cater to my every whim.

I accelerated their training schedule when I added cooing, giggling, and laughing to my repertoire of sounds my voice could use. These were most effective in keeping my parent’s attention when combined with smiling.

They seemed easier to train when I began to teach them some of my language. It is truly amazing just how fast they learned to repeat after me words like: goo-goo, gaa-gaa, didy, wa-wa, ma-ma, da-da, and poopy. My greatest failure in their training program happened when I was two-years old. For some reason, my parents just could not understand the concept of “NO!” when I said it to them. I noticed just how frustrated we became when we realized that they just did not understand the meaning even though I tried to teach them the meaning at least 20 or 30 times a day. By the time I was three-years old, they finally understood and the level of frustration between us nearly disappeared.

After their training disaster when I was two, as I turned three I realized they were to long out of the womb to learn any more of my language. Since I was smarter and younger than mom and dad (no brag, just fact), I decided to just give up and learn their language instead of keeping myself frustrated by their failures. Communication between us then became clearer and life at home became more fun.

I became increasingly comfortable with my voice and everyone I interacted with seemed to like it also. That is, until I attended first-grade at the Hawthorn Christian School. Don’t religious teachers of non-religious subjects in a private Christian school have to obtain state certification to teach children? I guess not, because my first-grade teacher apparently had no understanding of child development and curiosity and desire to avoid doing things to displease adults. One day, a boy said a word the teacher did not like and had him come up to the front and put a small square of soap on his tongue. She then called two other boys up and did the same thing. Now, I had heard the word but did not know if that was the problem word. I wanted to know what the word was for certain, so I could be sure not to say it and get in trouble at school or at home. Therefore, I raised my hand and when called upon I asked, “What word was the problem word?” The teacher said to never mind. (I guess she did not want to teach, just for us to listen and obey). I then responded, “Was it ‘shit’?” (Not my smartest question.) Whereupon, she had me come up and put the soap on my tongue. I was so scared of my parents finding out and of the soap, my mouth went completely dry. Thus, the soap never dissolved on my tongue and her lesson was lost on me, much to my relief. Fortunately, after second-grade, I was off to public school in Minnesota and out from Christian school domination. This event marks the precursor display of my innate, and soon to be developing, smartassyness.

Since my father had taught me that human excrement was called “ish”, it was several years later that I learned the correct meaning of “shit”. Even when I was living on my grandparent’s farm for two years, I never heard that word. Grandpa and my uncle always referred to cow manure. My grandma did use the word “ish”, but I could tell she was giving it a completely different meaning.

In December of 1958, I did lose my voice for two-weeks due to laryngitis. When the soreness departed, I found my voice was a new voice. It was different, and I did not like it at first. It felt a bit rough due to the laryngitis I suppose, and I wanted to “clear my throat” all the time, but it didn’t help. I seem to be caught between a low tenor and a high bass when I sing, and I don’t do much of that. So, this is my voice now and I’m sticking to it.

© 23 October 2017

About the Author

I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach. Just prior to turning 8 years old in 1956, I began living with my grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents divorced.

When united with my mother and stepfather two years later in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11 terrorist attack.

I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. I find writing these memories to be therapeutic.

My story blog is TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com

Communication, by Ricky

          What weve got here is …. failure to
communicate
is a movie line from Cool Hand Luke spoken by Paul
Newman that is perfectly delivered, humorously and sarcastically, in keeping
with the character’s personality. 
Unfortunately for Luke, the senior guard was not amused, receptive, or
tolerant of the mocking of the Captain’s phrase.  Herein lies the difficulty with communicating
with anyone; words.
          The
Captain and the Boss were communicating a message to Luke but their words were
not precise enough for Luke to clearly understand.  Thus, the Captain and the Boss were the ones
who failed to communicate.  They should
have made it perfectly clear that if Luke tried to escape again, he would be
shot dead; they didn’t and Luke died.
         
          Words
arrive containing varying numbers of syllables, shades of meaning, and ease of
pronunciation.  The definition of words
can be modified from the original by common usage, which tends to happen
because members of society do not learn enough vocabulary so they can pick the
perfectly accurate but seldom used word. 
Some people use many long words and complex sentences to communicate
simple ideas; a practice which often leads to misunderstandings.  There are yet others who can communicate
powerful ideas using simple and everyday words. 
An example is Abraham Lincoln’s statement, “You can fool some of the
people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot
fool all of the people all of the time.” 
Do you suppose Lincoln was warning other politicians, warning the
public, or giving politicians a tip on how to get elected?
          Some
communications take on a life of their own and are so common in usage as to
become clichés.  “Houston, we have a
problem.” is one of those. The phrase originated following the Apollo 13
disaster.  Unfortunately, no one ever
said those words.  Here is the actual
conversation between the Houston command center and Apollo 13.
John Swigert: ‘Okay,
Houston, we’ve had a problem here.’
Houston: ‘This is Houston. Say again please.’
James Lovell: ‘Houston, we’ve had a problem. We’ve had a main B bus
undervolt.’ 
          For
dramatic effect, the movie of the events surrounding Apollo 13, altered the
exact words.  The incorrect phrase was
picked up by the movie going public and now is commonly used to indicate any
problem not just very serious ones.
          Likewise,
“Beam me up, Scotty” is a catchphrase
that made its way into popular culture from the science fiction television series Star Trek. Though it has become
irrevocably associated with the series and movies, the exact phrase was never
actually spoken in any Star Trek television
episode or film.
          “Beam me up, Scotty” is similar to the phrase,
“Just the facts ma’am”, attributed to Jack Webb’s character of Joe
Friday on Dragnet; “It’s elementary, my dear
Watson”, attributed to Sherlock Holmes; “Luke, I am your
father”, attributed to Darth Vader; or “Play it again, Sam”,
attributed to Humphrey Bogart’s character in Casablanca; and “We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!”
attributed to Gold Hat in The
Treasure of the Sierra Madre
.  All five
lines are the best-known quotations from these works for many viewers, but not one is an actual,
direct quotation.  Yet each of them
conveys an idea, concept, and image that communicates very well because a large
number of people have seen the source of the misquoted dialog and the erroneous
version has become ubiquitous in our culture. 
          Communication also suffers when the sender and the receiver
are not talking about the same concept or idea. Remember the dialogue between Tom Hanks and Elizabeth Perkins in the
movie “Big”?
          Susan: I’m not so sure we should do this.
          Josh: Do what?
          Susan: Well, I like you … and
I want to spend the night with you.
          Josh: Do you mean sleep over?
          Susan: Well, yeah.
          Josh: OK … but I get to be on
top.
          One conversation between two different people, but on two
incompatible topics.  This particular
conversation also illustrates the effect differences in age and experience (or
lack thereof) can have upon the inferred meaning of the words heard.
          Yet another problem with communication arises when one
party doesn’t understand the clear and plain message he was given or does not
take it seriously.  While in the Air
Force, one of my commanding officers was a colonel and a pilot.  He related to me the following.
          Before becoming a pilot he was a navigator on a military
transport aircraft approaching his U.S. destination after crossing the Atlantic
Ocean.  The plane was understandably low
on fuel.  Their primary destination had
bad weather to the point that they could not land and there was just enough
fuel to make it to the alternate airport. 
The navigator called the traffic controller for permission to depart for
the alternate destination.  He was told
to standby to which he replied that they needed to leave now or not have enough
fuel to make it.  Again, he was told to
standby.  He repeated the situation yet
again and was told to standby.  At this
point the pilot called on the intercom asking if they had permission to depart
for the alternate airport.  The navigator
told him “yes” even though no permission was given.  The person on the ground did not appreciate
the gravity of the situation and let himself be bogged down with control
issues.
          Sometimes the person initiating the communication sends an
accurate message composed of factual data but in reality doesn’t state the
actual issue.  For example, when I was
young I once told my mother that my urine was runny (a fact), which did not
impart any information to her.  The real
issue was I had diarrhea.  Another
example would be the numerous politicians who when asked a question answer with
information not directly related to the question.  I think they have a condition known as
“Diarrhea of the Mouth”.
          The moral of this essay: 
Be gay when the concept or idea or message goes through without
resulting in chaos.  The word “gay” is
used correctly, but did it, the other words, and the sentence structure combine
to confuse or clarify the message?  This
is yet another example of the potential for a message to get “lost in
translation” when there is a poor choice of words and grammar by the sender.
          The real moral of this essay:  In your next life, pay attention in language
class.
© 22 April
2012
 
About the Author 
 I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale
and then in Redondo Beach.  Just prior to
turning 8 years old in 1956, I was sent to live with my grandparents on their
farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents
divorced.
When united with my mother and stepfather two years later
in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California,
graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force,
I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until
her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11-2001
terrorist attack.
I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.   I find writing these memories to be
therapeutic.
My story blog is: TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com