Tag: cycling

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My Most Meaningful Vacation, by Betsy

So what is it that makes
a vacation meaningful anyway? I can’t honestly think of any vacation that I
have ever taken that was not meaningful. Some maybe were more meaningful than
others that is definitely true. I will have to focus on vacations of the last,
say, 50 years. Choosing from all the vacations of my lifetime is too
overwhelming. My memory just isn’t that good.
I have had a few trips
abroad—the heart of Europe as well as remote places like the Orkney Islands off
the north coast of Scotland, the train trip through South Africa, plus visits
to Canada, Mexico, and Central America. All these trips were memorable and
certainly meaningful. Simply experiencing other cultures, and other ways of
life is about the best educational experience a person can have. We learn from
living among or simply observing others that our way is not the only way.  Our language is not the only language, our
humor is not  the only kind of humor, our
cuisine is not the only kind.
My idea of a great
vacation is an exploit filled with excitement, new experiences, and
adventure.  I have traveled on vacation
by plane, train, boat, car, bicycle, and on foot. One of my most memorable
“vacations” was cycling across the United States, from Pacific to Atlantic. I
have written several stories about that trip which I took in 2005.
The thing about traveling
by bicycle is that you see so much more detail along the way, including the
wild life, sometimes in the form of road kill.
Probably most of my
vacations have been of the camping variety. I love camping whether in the
wilderness or just off the highway.
When I was married to
Bill and the three children were young, we used to take back packing trips.
Bill was always looking for fishing opportunities. I hated fishing. Not enough
action. But there was plenty for all of us to do on those adventures while Bill
was fishing. I very much enjoyed the hiking, setting up camp,  and being in the mountain environment with
nature.
When Gill and I first got
together we went back packing one summer in the Wind River Range in
Wyoming.  That was the time she cut a
gash in her knee and I saved her from bleeding to death with my Girl Scout
first aid kit which happened to have some butterfly bandages in it. She still
has a scar on her knee today which I want to pass around the table for all of
you to see.
This, one of our first
vacations together, could have been meaningful in that it had the potential for
being our last vacation together.  But
Gill stuck with me in spite of the fact that it was not her idea of a vacation.
I actually think it was the butterfly bandages that saved our relationship.
After we had been
together a short time, we went to a style of camping more to her liking—car
camping. Gill had a VW camper van—a Westphalia— in which we had taken some day
trips during our courtship. It may not have been an actual vacation, rather a
weekend, when we took the Westy to Rocky Mountain National Park. This was a
meaningful trip to me, and I will never forget it. It definitely portended of a
meaningful ritual which would become a part of my life everyday for the rest of
my life. We were driving along through the park admiring the sights when Gill
pulled over off the road and came to a stop. “It’s tea time,” she wailed. She
jumped into the back, opened the galley, 
put the kettle on and brewed the tea, and served me a dainty cup of
perfect British tea—with milk, of course, not cream.  I am a person who likes structure and some
rituals. So I became hooked on four o’clock tea time for life.
I also became quite
enamored of the idea of a camper van for road trips. The Westy was very old and
worn out and had to go soon after we started living together. But we both were
enthusiastic about having a camping vehicle. So a few years after selling the
Westy we bought a used VW Eurovan—a later model of the Westphalia.  We named her Brunie, short for Brunhilda. She
was a big boned woman. The three of us —Gill, Brunie, and I—spent 13  years together, travelled over 200,000 miles
in too many trips to count. It was an awesome relationship. All of our
vacations together were meaningful because we traveled in almost every state,
except Hawaii and Alaska, always had a comfortable place to sleep, we felt
safe, and were always warm and dry. Because of Brunie we saw the country, we
learned history and geology, we experienced things and places we never dreamed
existed. I might add we met all kinds of people who would always approach us in
the campground wanting to meet us? No wanting a look at Brunie. 
Some of the more memorable
places we visited had been selected as a destination like the national parks,
state parks, oceanside settings, historical sites, desert oases.  Others we just happened upon  by chance. 
We always kept a diary on these trips because we knew as we grew older
we would forget where it was that we saw that amazing sunrise, that moose
grazing beside the road, those sheep on the cliff above, that approaching
tornado. Or all we had, learned, heard, and experienced would become blurred.  And Gill was constantly snapping photos, so
we have thousands of those to remind us. Some places were quite ordinary, some
elaborate, some filled us with awe, some sights were beautiful beyond
imagination, some curious, but not one was not worth the visit. Some of our
favorite, nearby places we have been back to several times such as
Hovenweep,  Canyon lands,  Hamburger Rock, Arches N.P., and  Yellowstone.
There has not been one
trip or sojourn that was not meaningful. 
Most meaningful? Impossible to say.
© 1 Dec 2017 
About
the Author 
Betsy has been active in
the GLBT community including PFLAG, the Denver Women’s Chorus, OLOC (Old
Lesbians Organizing for Change), and the GLBT Community Center. She has been
retired from the human services field for 20 years. Since her retirement, her major
activities have included tennis, camping, traveling, teaching skiing as a
volunteer instructor with the National Sports Center for the Disabled, reading,
writing, and learning. Betsy came out as a lesbian after 25 years of marriage.
She has a close relationship with her three children and four grandchildren.
Betsy says her greatest and most meaningful enjoyment comes from sharing her
life with her partner of 30 years, Gillian Edwards.
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Still Learning, by Betsy

I recently learned that I
am not good at doing things at the last minute. 
That is why I am writing this piece now–after the date that the topic
was to be shared.  We got home Saturday
from a trip to California where among other things, Gill and I were married. I
could not get a piece on “Still
Learning”
together in a short two days.
A couple of things I
learned on this recent trip come to mind now that I have had time to process
the experiences for a week or so. Here are a few items of note.
On the subject of
personal relationships: After 26 years together with my partner a marriage
ceremony and a license do not make a big difference in our lives, but I have
noticed that since making my vows I feel a deeper level of commitment to my
partner.  Perhaps commitment is not the
right word, rather more of a reminder to love and to cherish.  Speaking aloud and hearing these words in a
ceremony gives more true meaning to the words and reminds me of their
importance and the value of the commitment.
I am reminded of the
topic “Straight Friends Who Love Me?” 
These friends of whom I wrote back in 2012 really do love me.  My cycling buddies with whom we had the
reunion were truly excited about our marriage. 
They were so excited they wanted to be there for the ceremony.  They wanted to be there so badly that we had
an extra ceremony–albeit unofficial–in their presence. 
The straight women on my
tennis team from the Denver Tennis Club were so excited about our marriage that
they are giving a party for Gill and me. 
Every one of them is coming. Every one of them is straight.  They have shown extraordinary support and
acceptance and are going out of their way to do so.
On the subject of
geology: In our travels to Southern California we came across many geologic
phenomena. When traveling west on the ground, one always does.   We spend a couple of days in a place neither
of us had every visited before; namely, Death Valley.  I have never thought much about Death
Valley.  Considered it to be a “dead”
place in the desert–a small valley between mountain ranges.  First, I learned that it is not small, it is
not dead, and it is surrounded by mountains on all sides.  The towering peaks surrounding it are
responsible for its extraordinary and unique geologic characteristics. The fact
that it is surrounded by mountains is the reason it is the hottest place on
earth and the driest place in the U.S. Death Valley is huge–140 miles long and
15 miles at its widest point.  Death
Valley is also the lowest place in the US. 
Furthermore, it is sinking faster than it is filling up.  The valley once was a lake, only 2000 years
ago.
On the subject of
spirituality: In the last few days I have also learned that we create our own
misery.  How and why?  Because we have egos which want to be fed
constantly.  Our egos are not our true
selves.  If we identify with our egos, we
are looking at a false image of ourselves. The image is a reflection of how
others see us.  This is a false image of
who we really are–our true selves.  Once
we understand this we are on the road to identifying with our true selves.  Our true selves–our souls, if you will,
cannot be controlled and manipulated by others or by society as our egos can
be.  The next time I have a negative
feeling because of the way someone has treated me or something someone has said
or not said to me–the next time that happens I am going to watch my ego, not
feed it, not deny it, just watch.  Then I
can tell myself that I am creating my own misery by having a needy ego.
A young brain may absorb
information faster, but I believe some things are learned only after, and as a
result of, decades of experience in living. 
I’m glad I’m still learning every day. It’s never too late for an “aha”
moment and we can never have too many.
© November 2013 
About
the Author 
 Betsy has been active in
the GLBT community including PFLAG, the Denver Women’s Chorus, OLOC (Old
Lesbians Organizing for Change), and the GLBT Community Center. She has been
retired from the human services field for 20 years. Since her retirement, her major
activities have included tennis, camping, traveling, teaching skiing as a
volunteer instructor with the National Sports Center for the Disabled, reading,
writing, and learning. Betsy came out as a lesbian after 25 years of marriage.
She has a close relationship with her three children and four grandchildren.
Betsy says her greatest and most meaningful enjoyment comes from sharing her
life with her partner of 30 years, Gillian Edwards.
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Sports, by Betsy

As a child I was not
involved in any organized sports.  No
soccer leagues, no softball for girls, mostly just playtime and as an older
child “hanging out.”
We did play sports in
school.  I remember kick ball–just like
baseball only you kick a soccer-sized rubber ball–then run around the bases. I
loved that game.  Also dodge ball was big
in elementary grades. 
When I was about ten my
father took me out on skis a few times. Not to a ski area, rather cross
country.  Being in the lumber business he
knew where the old abandoned roads were and I was proud of myself indeed to be
out on skis with my Daddy.  For a few
years the family would venture up to Old Forge in the Adirondack Mountains,
stay in a hotel and ski at the ski area. In those days in NY State a rope tow
was the best means of propulsion to the top of the ridge.
I loved skiing, except
for getting cold.  Today 70 years later I
am still skiing and have no intention of giving it up any time soon.
Also in the winter we had
many opportunities for ice skating. We would skate on the nearby lake, in fact,
I could skate to school at the other end of the lake.  In New Jersey our lake froze over quite often
as I remember. 
On a couple of occasions as a child my Daddy
took me to the local horse stables where we could rent a couple of horses and
off we would go. Just walking an old nag, I’m sure. 
But again, I was on top of the world because I was with my Daddy. That
was probably the best sports experience of those early days and we probably
only went out on horses a couple of times. I was devastated when I had to quit
that because I was allergic to horses.
My mother was not
athletic and did not like sports except bowling which she participated in
weekly for many years.  I do believe it
was more of a social activity for her than a competition. However, she always
went along on the ski trips and was a good sport about it.
Around age 15 my Daddy
taught me to play golf.  He was a avid
golfer and quite skilled at the game. In the ensuing year I came to take it
quite seriously, playing for fun and in occasional competitive events in high
school and college.
As I am writing this, I
keep thinking of more and more sports which were introduced to me by my father.
He really had been quite an athlete himself in college. I know that because at
home in the attic I happened upon some of the medals and certificates awarded
to him.
I am also reminded of
sporting events my father took me to watch. What I remember best are the hot
dogs at Ebbets Field or maybe it was Yankee Stadium.  The game I thought boring to watch, but I
enjoyed the yummy hot dogs slathered in mayo, mustard, and pickles.
Also memorable was the
time we went to see Babe Didrikson Zaharias* play golf in an LPGA [Ladies Professional Golf Association] tournament in
New Orleans. Babe was the greatest woman athlete of her day.  Having competed in the Olympic games in
track, she was now a golf champion. I must have been around 16 or 17 at the
time of that event since we lived near New Orleans. I will never forget
approaching her when she was practicing on the putting green before a
match.  She signed my program for me and
my heart went thumpity-thump.
Another sport my father
taught me was ping pong. We had an enclosed sun porch at the back of our house
in New Jersey which housed our ping pong table. Daddy would challenge me to a
game and start out by announcing that he would even the playing field, so to
speak, by tying his right arm behind him, or spotting me a number of points. As
I grew older and more adept, the number of points he spotted me diminished
until finally we were even. He could not have been happier, which was a message
to me about what is really important in sports.
When I was in high school we were forced to
move from New Jersey, a rather progressive place, to Louisiana, the ultimate in
conservatism and tradition. We, of course, had to give up the winter sports.
After the move in  school my sports
participation came to a rather screeching halt. Girls did not do sports in my
Louisiana high school.  It might cause a
girl to sweat, which is not lady-like.The best I could do was to be a cheer
leader and cheer on the boys.
It was then that my
father taught me to play golf. It was my saving grace when it comes to sports
participation during those three years in Louisiana.
My choice to leave the
deep south and go back north to college was probably driven somewhat by my love
of sports and particularly winter sports.
When I married and became
the mother of three children, I gave up golf and took up tennis.  I found that I could from time to time manage
an hour of tennis, but never could I find a half a day for a round of golf.
Also money was tight. Public tennis courts are free, not so with the golf
course, even public ones.  Also during my
years of mothering I coached my girls’ recreational
soccer league teams.  When that was over
and I was age 40 something I started playing the game until I turned 60. 
I continued playing
tennis for the rest of my life, my Patty Berg signature golf clubs gathering
dust in the attic. I have been tempted but have not found time to get back into
golf.  I’m spending too much time and having too
much fun on the tennis court.
The sports introduced to
me by my father have been very important to me throughout my life and continue
to be so. They have opened up doors, brought me closer to friends and family
simply by being able to play together. Teaching and participating in sports
with each of my three children I know has brought us closer together over the
years.
Some of my best
friendships have grown out of my interest and participation in sports.  I play regularly with good friends at the
Denver Tennis Club, tennis and ping pong. I’m happy to say that my lovely Gillian has
joined me in ping pong.  She is a
formidable player and we have our own table at home.
I still play ping pong,
ski cross-country and downhill. I have taught skiing to the disabled for 16
years at the National Sports Center for Disabled, which has been an educational
experience, and enlightening.
Did I mention cycling?
Like most kids I had a bicycle back in New Jersey as a youngster.  I rode it to school and rode around the area
with my friends.  We pedaled our bikes to
the movies on Saturdays and to the drug store for sodas.
I took up serious cycling
when I retired in 1998.  My ambition upon
retirement had been to hike the Colorado Trail. 
I had worked as a volunteer building the trail now I wanted to hike the
entire length. When the time came, I had to give up the idea because of a
chronic back condition. So instead I took up cycling and have had some of the
best adventures of my life as a result–the ultimate being the trip from the
Pacific to the Atlantic which I pedaled in 2005. 
I am fortunate that I
have an aptitude and a proclivity for sports–most sports, and have had the
opportunity to learn to play, to practice, and the health to participate in
them which is truly the love of my life–well, one of them anyway.
*Babe Didrikson Zaharias
© 13 Nov 2014 
About
the Author 

Betsy has been active in
the GLBT community including PFLAG, the Denver Women’s Chorus, OLOC (Old
Lesbians Organizing for Change), and the GLBT Community Center. She has been
retired from the human services field for 20 years. Since her retirement, her major
activities have included tennis, camping, traveling, teaching skiing as a
volunteer instructor with the National Sports Center for the Disabled, reading,
writing, and learning. Betsy came out as a lesbian after 25 years of marriage.
She has a close relationship with her three children and four grandchildren.
Betsy says her greatest and most meaningful enjoyment comes from sharing her
life with her partner of 30 years, Gillian Edwards.
Posted on

Doors, by Betsy

Ten years ago I was on the trip of a lifetime. This was not
my dream trip. That is, it was not a trip I had dreamed of going on all my
life. As I was approaching retirement several years earlier, I had dreamed of
hiking the Colorado Trail. After all, I had helped build the trail as a
volunteer on a couple of occasions when I had vacation time from work or a long
weekend. Unfortunately I never could realize the trek of my dreams because of a
condition in my spine which was causing pain when I was on my feet for long
periods of time. The Colorado Trail Trek door was closed.
So one day I decided instead to take a cycling trip. The “Bike
Trip Directors” website opened that door. It lead me to a group called Woman
tours. Perfect, I thought.  The door to
cycling had opened when I started participating in the MS 150 fund raising
event years earlier. Now I wanted a trip that would take me to other places and
for a longer stretch of time. Woman tours offered trips all over the U.S. and
some in Europe and Asia. A simple trip in the U.S. was what I was looking for.
This would open the door to something even bigger in the future maybe. 
So I laid the information and the maps out on the living
room floor and called to my partner Gill to take a look with me. “Oh this
week-long trip in the Mississippi Valley looks good. Or how ‘bout this one: 10
days on the Maryland coast, or the California coast.” So much to choose from.
Gill is just shaking her head. “Look at this. Pacific to Atlantic two months
across the southern tier of the U.S.”  “Well,
yeah,” said I. “But I’m
not ready for that. I need to take shorter trips first.”  Sometimes it takes someone who knows you very
well–a loved one–to bring you down to Earth–to reality.  Her words were so true: “My Darling, you will
be 70 years old this year. I think you need to do this cross-country trip NOW.”
The door thus opened to my trip of a lifetime, pedaling
from San Diego, California to St. Augustine, Florida.  Sixteen women over 55 cycling for 58 days
through 7 states averaging 70 miles per day. We would have one day off per week
for rest and laundry. Pay up front and your food and lodging is covered for the
entire trip except for days off.
Our group of cyclists from this adventure has had a reunion
every year except for one. This year we will celebrate our tenth anniversary in
September near Cape Cod. Our friendships have grown over the years. The cycling
trip opened the door to many more cycling trips as well as the friendships
created on that trip.  Happily Gill is included
in the group even though she did not cycle. When I chose to do this trip, she
told me she would drop me off in San Diego and pick me up in St. Augustine. I
should have known. There was no way she was going to miss out.  Drop me off and then drive home. No way! She
never intended to do that. She followed us in the van and gave unofficial SAG
support the entire way. Oh, she would disappear for a day or two on a side trip
to some interesting site. But she always showed up again especially when needed;
such as, the day we ran out of water and could find no source nor was there any
sign of Bo-Peep, our official SAG. Or the day we were freezing cold from the
rain.
I have just recently completed transcribing my journal from
this trip which I dictated at the end of each day of riding. Here is a short
excerpt from 10 years ago almost to the day.
May10 Live Oak to High
Springs, Fla. Day 55

Last night we were in
Live Oak and I didn’t get a chance to record. We had a 100 mile ride yesterday
and it was quite amazing. I really didn’t feel very tired from it. It was a
beautiful ride. We have had lovely rides in Florida and we have been lucky in
that we haven’t
had much rain. Today we had one of the best rides of all.  We stopped about 20 miles outside of the town
of High Springs at High Springs State Park. We went into the park to one of the
springs and all went swimming. Great fun! It was a welcome break. It was only a
58 mile ride so we had plenty of time to enjoy the cool water.
We are at the Cadillac–a
50’s motel. Gill has
been quite active with the group the last few days sagging and helping the Kiwi’s with their filming. She’s enjoying that a great deal except she
will be camping in the parking lot again tonight.
I can sense some strong
feelings among the group about the tour coming to an end. Since there are just
two days left.  Etc.
May 13 St. Augustine Day
58
Yesterday was our
triumphal entry into St. Augustine. We met at the fire station after an easy
ride from Palatka. We were escorted by two police cars and a motor cycle,
sirens blaring. We dunked our tires into the Atlantic, true to tradition, then
we all ran gleefully into the surf holding hands and screaming making quite a
spectacle of ourselves. We played in the water and hung out on the beach for a
while. Some family and friends were there with flowers and greetings of all
kinds and it was a grand celebration.
I was quite emotional as
we rode ceremoniously into St. Augustine. It was an honor to be leading the
group along with Mary and Glenna as the oldest members. I was quite proud to be
one of the six who pedaled every mile with no sagging. A lot of that is luck.
 A group picnic followed by teary goodbye’s ended the day. Many would be on their
way home before breakfast tomorrow. Gill and I decided to stay for a couple
more days.
I am having trouble
focusing today since I am so used to focusing on push my pedals every day. I’m sure I will adjust to normal life
quickly.
The fact that we have
just pedaled across the country 3165 miles has not yet fully registered in my
head. I expect it will sink in at some point or maybe not. It’s a bit overwhelming. No question about it
. It was the trip of a lifetime and a most extraordinary experience with a most
extraordinary group of people.
There is no doubt in my mind. A door was closed to me when
I developed a condition in my spine. But, I believe when one door closes
another one opens up. When the hiking door closed the biking door opened. That’s why I love revolving doors.
©  27 May 2015 
About
the Author 
Betsy has been active in the
GLBT community including PFLAG, the Denver women’s chorus, OLOC (Old Lesbians
Organizing for Change).  She has been
retired from the Human Services field for about 15 years.  Since her retirement, her major activities
include tennis, camping, traveling, teaching skiing as a volunteer instructor
with National Sports Center for the Disabled, and learning.  Betsy came out as a lesbian after 25 years of
marriage. She has a close relationship with her three children and enjoys spending
time with her four grandchildren.  Betsy
says her greatest and most meaningful enjoyment comes from sharing her life
with her partner of 25 years, Gillian Edwards.