The House on the Plains by Cecil Bethea

Out
east of Denver, off the Interstate and
about twenty miles south on state road 95 stands the house.  Being two storied sets it apart from most
houses of its era, about World War I. 
The others were usual one storied with some Victorian trappings: a tower,
a bit of stained glass in the front door, fancifully turned spindles in the the porch’s bannisters.  This house, facing east, stands off the
highway about a hundred yards amid three thirst stunted cottonwoods and some
desiccated shrubs unwatered for years. 
Off to the left runs a rutted road that leads to the back.  Recent tire marks suggest a rendevous for
teen age frolics in illicit drinking or couplings.  The yard was naked except for weeds dead from
the December cold. 
No
mailbox stood out front — not even a tilted post remained although the ground
was still compressed by the wheels of the R.F.D. drivers making their daily
stops.  Steps leading up to porch are
rickety at best even without the three missing treads.  Also gone is part of the porch
bannister.  An empty space is agape where
a door and sidelights had once stood possibly the result of a midnight raid of
a homebuilder with not quite enough money. 
The two story porch is supported by square columns made of six inch
planks still showing a few splotches of white, perhaps the remains of
plantation pretensions.  Boards long gone
from the porch floor make like miniature moats to the trespasser.  Probably this area had been furnished with
caned-back rockers, benches, a glider, a porch swing, maybe even a hammock.

Inside
the dust driven by the winds has accumulated in whirls.  Of course the kids years ago had come for
miles to pleasure themselves breaking out the windows .  Each of the four downstairs rooms has a
fireplace that had been sealed up with holes for the pipes of the heating
stoves.  Even though every room has two
windows, at least the occupants had some heat. 
A dozen or so recent Coors cans attest to a rustic bacchanal.  Evidently once there had been a built in
sideboard because its alcove is an ugly void. 
Attached to the dining room is the kitchen which juts out west toward
the mountains.  The sink is long gone
with only a hole in the floor which had held the drain pipe.  Probably pried out for scrap and sold by some
desperate soul to feed his family during hard times or to slake his thirst with
a six pack of Coors or maybe even two.
The
northwest room downstairs has a built-in closet added later.  This was probably the bedroom of the parents
or maybe the grandparents so that they could avoid the stairs.  Upstairs would be the sleeping quarters for
the rest of the family.  Four rooms seems
a bit excessive even for the fecund families who lived on the plains but were
also frugal.  Even if the parents did
sleep upstairs with the grandparents down below, two rooms could have easily
held eight children with two to the bed. 
Maybe the spare room was for a spinster sister or aunt who had no where
else to go.  It could have belonged to a
bachelor brother who owned a piece of the farm. 
We’ll never know.

No
doubt at least four generations had once called this place home, a place to
cherish or escape.  Today we can only
imagine the love and hate that strutted through the rooms, crises that waxed
and waned, problems that bubbled and boiled. 
Love of a parent for an unworthy child. Brothers vying for
anything.  Sisters comparing boy
friends.   Fighting amongst the kin over
an inheritance.  A wedding for love or
necessity.  The death of a grandchild
from whooping cough or the death of a
grandparent from old age.  The parties on
a summer Saturday.  Christmas
dinners.  The prayers for rain.  The worries about making mortgage
payments.  If we knew such tales as these, we could embody the ghosts that drift about the place.

The
house is blasted by the winter winds and broiled by the summer suns. the boards
are warped with protruding nail heads. Each year it weakens.  Finally one winter worse than those of past
decades will pile snow upon the roof.  A
blast will descend from the ice caked banks of the Yukon and blow the house
down.  An alternative is that on a hot
summer’s day a cloud no bigger than a man’s hand will grow into one that’s as
black as a mother-in-law’s heart and stretches from here to yonder.  Darts of lightening will spark down to
earth.  A funnel will form and
metastasize hitting the house with one wild eddy of wind and scattering the
shards all over the plains. A more realistic expectation is that some liquored
up teenagers, seeking new thrills, will set it afire to see a really big
fire.  They will dance to rhythms
unconceived and the sparks will soar into the purple night of the plains.

As
yet, the house still stands moldering away out on the emptiness of the plains,
a mute Wurthering Heights waiting for a Bronte to tell its tale.

About the Author

My Biography in 264 Words

          Although I
have done other things, my fame now rests upon the durability of my partnership
with Carl Shepherd; we have been together for forty-two years and nine months
as of today, August 18th, 2012.

          Although I
was born in Macon, Georgia in 1928, I was raised in Birmingham during the Great
Depression.  No doubt I still carry
invisible scars caused by that era.  No
matter we survived.  I am talking about
my sister, brother, and I .  There are
two things that set me apart from people. 
From about the third grade I was a voracious reader of books on almost
any subject.  Had I concentrated, I would
have been an authority by now; but I didn’t with no regrets.

          After the
University of Alabama and the Air Force, I came to Denver.  Here I met Carl, who picked me up in Mary’s
Bar.  Through our early life we traveled
extensively in the mountain West.  Carl
is from Helena, Montana, and is a Blackfoot Indian.  Our being from nearly opposite ends of the
country made “going to see the folks” a broadening experience.  We went so many times that we finally had
“must see” places on each route like the Quilt Museum in Paducah, Kentucky and
the polo games in Sheridan, Wyoming.  Now
those happy travels are only memories.

          I was
amongst the first members of the memoire writing class.  While it doesn’t offer criticism, it does
offer feed back.  Also just trying to
improve your writing helps no end.

          Carl is
now in a nursing home, I don’t drive any more. 
We totter on. 

If I Won the Lottery by Colin Dale

If I
won the lottery.
   What
do you mean “if”?  I did win the lottery, in 2004.  I was visiting my brother in West Milford,
New Jersey.  I’d gone back there to run
in the New York City marathon.  While there,
I bought a New Jersey Pick Six lottery ticket. 
I won.  The prize was $19,500,000.
 I didn’t take home $19,500,00.  Taxes amounted to $6,825,000.  I ended up with $12,675,000.

The marathon was a bust.  I felt like crap from the start, and dropped
out at Mile 18.  I knew what the problem
was.  It wasn’t lack of training.  The problem was I was getting older.  But I was now a multi-millionaire.  My thought–with aging in one hand and wealth
in the other–how much YOUTH could I buy? 
I’d read a story in Runners’ World about a procedure at the Huntington
Memorial Hospital in Glendale, Wisconsin–not a surgery where you get artificial
parts but a procedure called tissue
transference
where you get whole new parts, real parts, in a sense, the body of someone 20, 30 years
younger.  The procedure cost me $188,000;
then, $22,280 for the hospital stay, $3,350 for post-op rehab, $970 for
medication, $450 for hotel & meals, and $16 for cab fare.  The total cost of YOUTH: $215,066.  Not bad.

My after-tax prize, if you
recall, was $12,675,000.  $12,675,000
minus $215,066 for YOUTH — I was left with $12,459,934.

Unfortunately, the new,
youthful me needed some new, youthful FRIENDS. 
It would hurt to part with my old old
friends, but what the hell.  I’d seen an
infomercial on TV: “Tired of your old do-nothing friends?” it
said.  “Buy new FRIENDS, fun-loving FRIENDS,
high-energy FRIENDS able to keep up with your high-energy lifestyle.  Buy one FRIEND, two FRIENDS, buy a dozen FRIENDS.  Call for prices.  You’ll be surprised how affordable.  Operators are standing by.”  And so I called.  The cost: $15,134 per FRIEND.  I bought a dozen for $181,608.  I wanted these FRIENDS close by, so I had them
moved to Denver: add shipping & handling at $4,700 per FRIEND, and
resettling costs of $234,000 — the grand total for a dozen new, high-energy,
close-by FRIENDS: $472,008.

After buying YOUTH & FRIENDS,
I still had $11,987,926 left.

What frustrated me next was
my stalled career.  An actor, I was at a
dead-end.  I wondered if I could buy some
TALENT somewhere.  That’s when I happened
to catch Kevin Costner on The View.  He
was saying how after Dances With Wolves
every movie he made got panned.  He was
introduced to an acting coach who knew the secrets of real TALENT.  And now Costner was offering these same
secrets to anyone who wanted to buy them. 
The next day I was on a plane to Costner’s ranch in Twentynine
Palms.  Six weeks later I was winging my
way back to Denver, the new owner of TALENT. 
The cost (itemizing it): $388 in phone calls to Costner, $1,267 for a
roundtrip ticket to California, $6,200 for car rental, etc., $770,000 for The
Intensive (that’s the learning of the secrets), $4,250 for new headshots, and
$45 for a thank you gift for Mr. Costner. 
Total cost of TALENT: $782,150.

I now had renewed YOUTH, new
FRIENDS, and real TALENT — and I still had $11,205,776 in the bank.  

But there I was, in the
summer of ’05, with YOUTH, FRIENDS, TALENT, and money, and no matter how hard I
tried, I still couldn’t seem to earn the RESPECT of people who mattered.  What the hell could I do to earn RESPECT?  That’s when I heard on the radio: “Don’t
earn respect.  Buy it!  Silvan Life Systems
will equip you with the RESPECT you deserve. 
Arrange an in-service with a Silvan life coach today.”  I called Silvan and contracted with the best:
Baron Baptiste, senior mentor.  I flew
Mr. Baptiste to Denver and he stayed with me for a full month.  When he left, I had RESPECT.  The cost: Baron Baptiste’s fee, $937,400.  His per diem, at $420 a day, $12,600.  His CD’s (the full set): $112.  The grand total for a little genuine RESPECT:
$950,112.

***

Now this is getting
long-winded, so I’ll abbreviate the rest. 
I toted it up in the fall of 2005: I was YOUNG, surrounded by FRIENDS,
super TALENTED, and deeply RESPECTED. 
And the amazing part: I still had $10,255,664 in the bank.

Unfortunately, though, the
things I still wanted, when I checked the prices, were a lot more expensive.  For example . . .

I bought CHARACTER.  I found CHARACTER through goodcharacter.com.  They offered a variable-length retreat
depending upon how much CHARACTER you wanted. 
I took the whole enchilada: Kindness, Fairness, Courage, Honesty,
Diligence, and Integrity.  The grand
total, including the prefrontal cortex implants: $1,290,022.

Next I bought LOVE, from the
Yabyummy Institute.  My personal Love
Master David Deidra’s fee, $75,800, his per diem, $3,000; my Joy Buddy Rex
Winter’s fee, $58,000, Rex’s per diem, $2,000; the Sacred Loving Program to
include Tantric Love for the Soul, Body Heat, Heart & Soul, and What a
Difference a Touch Makes, $876,549; plus the Sacred Loving Pleasure Kit, marked
down to $484,650.  Total cost for LOVE:
$1,499,999.

Next came PEACE: PEACE of
mind.  An easy one–expensive, but easy:
eight potions, given by Lakshmi Ganesh Punjam at the Peaceable Dragon Lodge in
Kaski, Nepal.  Each potion gave me a
piece of PEACE:

1) Do not be jealous

2) Do not crave recognition

3) Forgive & forget

4) Do not interfere

5) Endure what cannot be
cured

6) Do not procrastinate

7) Never leave the mind
vacant

8) Never regret

Cost?  The potions, $250,000 each–$2,000,000
total.   Travel: $125,142.  So, PEACE: $2,125,142.

Next-to-last: IMMORTALITY.  This was a weird one.   A guy by the name of Gerald came to my door.  He said he’d give me IMMORTALITY for $4,500,000.  I knew from Angie’s List that he was on the
up & up.  Gerald stayed with me while
he taught me IMMORTALITY.  Total cost:
$4,500,000 for the IMMORTALITY itself; I gave Gerald a $675,555 tip — that’s
15% (seemed fair); and incidentals during his stay (food, beverage, and DVD
rentals): $125,142.  Total for
IMMORTALITY: $5,340,500.

That left me with only one
thing I wanted to buy, but before we get to that . . .

If you’ve been adding this
up as we went along . . .

YOUTH

FRIENDS

TALENT

RESPECT

CHARACTER

LOVE

PEACE, and

IMMORTALITY

. . . you’ll know I’d spent
$12,459,933.  I’d won (after taxes)12,459,934.  I had $1 left.  Well . . .

The last thing I wanted was
HAPPINESS.  How lucky then I found a shop
around the corner where, with my senior discount, I could buy HAPPINESS for
only a buck.

But when I tried to buy it,
the shopkeeper said, that’s going to be a buck seventy-five.

“But I’m a
senior,” I said.

“Don’t try it, friend,”
the shopkeeper said.  “I know you
from around here.  You’re YOUNG, got young
FRIENDS, your TALENTED, RESPECTED by everybody, got great CHARACTER, obviously
in LOVE, blessed with PEACE of mind, and, for all I know, you’re IMMORTAL.  No way you’re a senior.  HAPPINESS’ll be a buck seventy-five.”

“Shit,” I said,
and went home.

About the Author

Colin Dale couldn’t
be happier to be involved again at the Center. 
Nearly three decades ago, Colin was both a volunteer and board member with
the old Gay and Lesbian Community Center. 
Then and since he has been an actor and director in Colorado regional
theatre.  Old enough to report his many stage
roles as “countless,” Colin lists among his favorite Sir Bonington in
The Doctor’s Dilemma at Germinal
Stage, George in Who’s Afraid of Virginia
Woolf?
and Colonel Kincaid in The
Oldest Living Graduate
, both at RiverTree Theatre, Ralph Nickleby in The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby
with Compass Theatre, and most recently, Grandfather in Ragtime at the Arvada Center.  For the past 17 years, Colin worked as an
actor and administrator with Boulder’s Colorado Shakespeare Festival.  Largely retired from acting, Colin has
shifted his creative energies to writing–plays, travel, and memoir.

The Last Goodbye by Cecil Bethea

The
wind blew straight down from the Yukon chilling the plains of eastern Colorado
and the town of Whitney.  Don walked past
the sere, brown grass on either side, toward the 1920’s bungalow.  After crossing the porch, he opened the screen
door and unlocked the front door.  The
living room was so empty that it looked as though a family had not lived there
for twenty-six years.  Back when he was
five, the Folks had bought the house and moved into its more spacious
quarters.  Only vaguely could he remember
running through the empty rooms which seemed so vast before Dad, helped by
Uncles Sam, Bill, and Bob, had arrived with the family’s possessions.
The
house needed a good cleaning–especially the windows.  Thank God, for the Mary and Martha
Society.  They were ladies from the
Baptist Church.  With the motto, “We make
bad times a little better”.  Part of
their Christian duty.  Actually they had
organized the auction for the all the stuff that he and the girls had not
wanted.  Tomorrow the ladies would come
to give the house a good cleaning.  Have
to send them a really nice check for all their help.

Looking
around the empty room he remembered it crowded with people and furniture.  Dad’s and Mom’s lounge chairs had sat side by
side on the other side of the fireplace facing the TV against the front wall.  The Christmas tree had always stood before
the front widows so that they could share its glory with passers-by.  Eleanor had wanted the print of Canaletto’s
GRAND CANAL.  Wonder how it would look
decorating a wall in Silicon Valley?  
Looking
back, the dining room was a waste of space considering how seldom they had used
it along with the “good” dishes.  On
Holidays, birthdays, and Sundays and from time to time.  Never would forget the Thanksgiving that an
errant football, thrown by his cousin Percy, had blasted the window to
smithereens about an hour before the meal. 
Couldn’t have bought a piece of glass in Denver on Thanksgiving.  No problem for Dad and the uncles.  They covered the empty sash with a piece of
plywood chinked with an old blanket.  All
done and over by the time the turkey was taken from the oven.
The
folks’ room never really interested him what with Mom having a strict policy of
knocking before opening a closed door. 
Besides he had checked it out and found nothing interesting except some
photograph albums inherited from his grandparents which he studied from
time.  People, long dead, posed before
antique cars. 
His
sisters shared a room which he later found more interesting.  Nothing really dirty just an interest in how
girls were different from boys.  Had to
do his snooping when alone at home. 
His
room seemed so small.  He wondered how a
chest of drawers, a desk and chair, and a set of bunk beds could crammed into
such a small space.  Here he had had high
dreams, found solace from psychic stings, and read about the rest of the world
outside of Winston and Kiowa County.
The
kitchen was the center of the family’s life and certainly Mom’s life.  She spent most of her time cooking for
us.  We ate practically all of our meals
over there at the table in the corner. 
Some kind of meat, potatoes, at least one vegetable, a salad, and some
sort of desert.  Mom liked to try recipes
from the women’s magazines.  Women don’t
cook like that any more –don’t have the time. 
He left the house keys on the mantel for Bill Roberts, the real estate agent.
Suddenly
he realized that after the house was sold he’d have no ties to Winston except
Longview Cemetery.  They still owned
three burial plots of the five that the Folks had bought years ago.  Maybe they could be sold.

He
realized it would be two o’clock before he got to Denver.  Before getting into his car, he stood
buffeted by the High Plains wind, studied the house once more ,and then drove
off without looking back.

About the Author

My Biography
in 264 Words

          Although I have done other things, my
fame now rests upon the durability of my partnership with Carl Shepherd; we
have been together for forty-two years and nine months as of today, August
18the, 2012.

          Although I was born in Macon, Georgia
in 1928, I was raised in Birmingham during the Great Depression.  No doubt I still carry invisible scars caused
by that era.  No matter we survived.  I am talking about my sister, brother, and I.  There are two things that set me apart from
people.  From about the third grade I was
a voracious reader of books on almost any subject.  Had I concentrated, I would have been an
authority by now; but I didn’t with no regrets.

          After the University of Alabama and
the Air Force, I came to Denver.  Here I
met Carl, who picked me up in Mary’s Bar. 
Through our early life we traveled extensively in the mountain
West.  Carl is from Helena, Montana, and
is a Blackfoot Indian.  Our being from
nearly opposite ends of the country made “going to see the folks” a broadening
experience.  We went so many times that
we finally had “must see” places on each route like the Quilt Museum in
Paducah, Kentucky and the polo games in Sheridan, Wyoming.  Now those happy travels are only memories.

          I was amongst the first members of the
memoire writing class.  While it doesn’t
offer criticism, it does offer feedback. 
Also just trying to improve your writing helps no end.

          Carl is now in a nursing home, I don’t
drive any more.  We totter on.