Keeping the Peace, by Lewis T

…IN EIGHT EXTREMELY DIFFICULT STEPS
(OR LEWIS’ RULES OF ORDER)

1. Don’t interrupt your adversary. Listen fully until you understand completely their position.

2. Say back to him or her what you think they said. “Did I get that right?”

3. If they say, “That’s not what I said (or meant)”, ask them to repeat. If they say, “Yes, that’s right”, continue.

4. Tell them specifically why you disagree. Ask them to repeat what you just said.

5. When the area of disagreement is clear to both parties, then: a) agree to disagree, or b) agree to break off the discussion until another day or until a mediator can be brought in or until areas of disagreement can be clarified or fact-finding takes place.

6. Never shout, threaten, or resort to ad hominem attacks.

7. Never make the argument personal or ego-centered.

8. Apologize if you step over the line. [Never be afraid to admit that you are wrong.]

9. Remember, above all, that cutting the baby in half is no substitute for lacking humility.

© 10 June 2013

About the Author

I came to the beautiful state of Colorado out of my native Kansas by way of Michigan, the state where I married and I came to the beautiful state of Colorado out of my native Kansas by way of Michigan, the state where I married and had two children while working as an engineer for the Ford Motor Company. I was married to a wonderful woman for 26 happy years and suddenly realized that life was passing me by. I figured that I should make a change, as our offspring were basically on their own and I wasn’t getting any younger. Luckily, a very attractive and personable man just happened to be crossing my path at that time, so the change-over was both fortuitous and smooth. Soon after, I retired and we moved to Denver, my husband’s home town. He passed away after 13 blissful years together in October of 2012. I am left to find a new path to fulfillment. One possibility is through writing. Thank goodness, the SAGE Creative Writing Group was there to light the way.

Keeping the Peace, by Lewis

KEEPING THE PEACE

…IN EIGHT EXTREMELY DIFFICULT STEPS

(OR LEWIS’ RULES OF ORDER)

1. Don’t interrupt your adversary. Listen fully until you understand completely their position.

2. Say back to him or her what you think they said. “Did I get that right?”

3. If they say, “That’s not what I said (or meant)”, ask them to repeat. If they say, “Yes, that’s right”, continue.

4. Tell them specifically why you disagree. Ask them to repeat what you just said.

5. When the area of disagreement is clear to both parties, then: a) agree to disagree, or b) agree to break off the discussion until another day or until a mediator can be brought in or until areas of disagreement can be clarified or fact-finding takes place.

6. Never shout, threaten, or resort to ad hominem attacks.

7. Never make the argument personal or ego-centered.

8. Apologize if you step over the line. [Never be afraid to admit that you are wrong.]

9. Remember, above all, that cutting the baby in half is no substitute for lacking humility.

© 10 June 2013

About the Author

I came to the beautiful state of Colorado out of my native Kansas by way of Michigan, the state where I married and I came to the beautiful state of Colorado out of my native Kansas by way of Michigan, the state where I married and had two children while working as an engineer for the Ford Motor Company. I was married to a wonderful woman for 26 happy years and suddenly realized that life was passing me by. I figured that I should make a change, as our offspring were basically on their own and I wasn’t getting any younger. Luckily, a very attractive and personable man just happened to be crossing my path at that time, so the change-over was both fortuitous and smooth. Soon after, I retired and we moved to Denver, my husband’s home town. He passed away after 13 blissful years together in October of 2012. I am left to find a new path to fulfillment. One possibility is through writing. Thank goodness, the SAGE Creative Writing Group was there to light the way.

Keeping the Peace by Will Stanton

In 1967 when I traveled through Yugoslavia, all
the diverse states and ethnic groups were unified under the stern, deft hand of
Marshall Tito.  Keeping the peace
required a person of his universal admiration, status, and cleverness.  Although I was, at the time, quite young and
not particularly well versed in world affairs, even I could see the underlying
signs of entropy and conflict.  Sewn together
at the end of World War I into a makeshift nation, differences and suspicions
between Muslims, Orthodox Christians, and Roman Catholics, were just too deeply
engrained for the nation to last once Tito was gone.
The western-most state of Slovenia had more in common with Austria
culturally and ethnically than it did with its eastern counterparts.  Also, for a so-called communist state, it was
very democratic, in some ways even more so than America.  Upon my entering adjacent states, I noticed
differences in the cultural,
religious, and political atmosphere. 
During World War II, the Croatian Republic of Herzeg-Bosnia
claimed to be an independent fascist state with an uneasy mix of Muslims and
Christians.  Farther east, Serbia seemed more
primitive and populated by stern, dour people who easily adhered to
communism.  Muslim minarets were in far
greater evidence than in the western states. 
I had no idea that, after Tito’s death, my perception of Yugoslavia
being an uneasy alliance of very different peoples would prove to be so
prophetic.
I recall in particular the ancient
town of Mostar in Bosnia.  I took a picture of the world-famous stone
bridge that arched over the deep ravine of the Neretva River. 
16th Century Mostar Bridge
Of
my  more than three hundred slides from
that year, that color slide of the old bridge and the stone buildings on either
side of the ravine was one that literally was of prize-winning quality.  The Ottoman architect Mimar Hayruddin built
the narrow, stone bridge in the 16th century, and the bridge was the
subject of many paintings and photographs over the centuries.  During the early 1990s, however, neither the
bridge nor the peace stood.
In 1992, the area of Bosnia and Herzegovina declared independence
from Yugoslavia.
The central government in Beograd,
Serbia, retaliated.  Mostar was subjected to an eighteen-month siege by the Yugoslav People’s Army.  They first bombed Mostar in April, 1992.  The Croatian Defense Council
responded.  Continued shelling destroyed the
iconic bridge, the Franciscan
monastery, the Catholic cathedral, the bishop’s palace (with a library of
50,000 books), and a number of secular institutions as well as fourteen mosques. 
Civil War Destroyed the 16th Century Mostar Bridge
It took the intervention of the
United Nations and the European Union to attempt to bring relative peace to the
area by forming a Croat-Muslim coalition and then trying to convince the Serbian
government in Beograd to accept a peace
plan.  The Army of the Republic of
Bosnia and Herzegovina
was comprised of a majority of Muslims and a
minority of Christians.  Fighting broke
out among them, too.  Before the
agreement could be signed, the Muslim-led forces fought bitterly against the
Christian Croats in attempt to control Mostar.  The Christian Croat forces
dominated Mostar, controlled the  western
part,  and the Muslim Bosniak population was
expelled and driven from their homes to the eastern side.  Peace, empathy, and humanity crumbled among
the ruins of Mostar’s stone buildings.
Finally, a U.S.-led agreement was
signed, and Mostar was placed under E.U. administration with the German mayor
from Bremen
governing and a British general in charge of U.N. troops.  The peace accord resulted in a very shaky
union of two autonomous regions, the Serb
Republic and the Bosniak
and Croat Federation.  Decision-making
was run by a system of ethnic quotas that has stagnated making agreements and
has stifled economic recovery.  The
editor of an independent Mostar website has stated, “They never will reach
agreement.”
Nine billion Euros have been spent
rebuilding the region including Mostar’s bridge and city buildings, but there
still is no reconciliation among the inhabitants.  The two city-sections each side of the river
still have their own electricity provider, phone network, postal service,
utility services and university.  Croat
and Bosniak schoolchildren attend separate classes, studying from different
textbooks.  The Croats, in the majority,
want the town unified.  Suspicion and
hatred are so deep that there appears to be little chance of that.  In January, the situation took a violent
turn, when a bomb blast toppled a monument to fallen soldiers of Bosnia’s
Muslim-dominated wartime army.
Such hate and violence is not
unique to Bosnia.  I have pondered long and hard about the
failings of humanity, its capacity to hate and to harm its own kind.  For one contributing factor, I am well aware
of the continuing debate concerning the relative merits of religion, good versus
bad.  Muslim, Christian, Jewish,
whatever, sometimes I wonder if Bill Maher is right; the world would be better
off if there were no such thing as religion.
But, that is only part of the
problem.  Much of the blame is placed
upon individuals, their failure to grow into informed, wise, caring people who
feel genuine empathy for others.  Inflexible,
unquestioning belief in one’s own religion or politics and denial of other
people’s religion or politics is symptomatic of just one aspect of the
religiosity-mind, a mind so entrenched in one’s own beliefs, even if they defy
fact and reality, that any attempt to see beyond them is hopeless.  Any attempt to prompt such people to look
beyond themselves and to consider other people and their ideas is met with strident
resistance, anger, and sometimes even violence. 
We see such toxic mindlessness today even in our own Congress and among
the voters and media-pundits who support them.

The wide difference between well
informed people with good critical-thinking skills versus those persons with
religiosity-minds astounds me.  The
famous philosopher Schiller once stated, “Against stupidity, the gods
themselves labor in vain.”  I realize
that medical researches have found actual evidence of certain differences in
brain structure between people that give an indication of which way one may
think.  I also realize that learning
plays a large part in how one develops his beliefs and method of thinking.  I can only dream of a cure for the
religiosity-mind, some medical procedure perhaps on the genetic level so that
all those born in the future will develop inquiring, thoughtful, empathetic
minds.  Perhaps only then will the world
have a chance of keeping the peace.

© 13 May 2013  


About the Author  

I have had a life-long fascination with people and their life
stories.  I also realize that, although
my own life has not brought me particular fame or fortune, I too have had some
noteworthy experiences and, at times, unusual ones.  Since I joined this Story Time group, I have
derived pleasure and satisfaction participating in the group.  I do put some thought and effort into my
stories, and I hope that you find them interesting.

Keeping the Peace by Ricky

Beginning in August 1972 until July 1976, I worked as a Deputy Sheriff in Pima County, Arizona. August through November consisted of training at the Southern Arizona Law Enforcement Institute [commonly known as the Tucson Police Academy]. My father and future wife attended the graduation ceremony. After the ceremony, I patrolled out of the substation located in Marana, which at that time was a small unincorporated community located 24 miles north of Tucson along Interstate 10. You might say I was involved in several adventures during those years, but to me it was just keeping the peace.

As a little boy in Redondo Beach, California, I would watch the Sheriff John cartoon TV show each day. As I grew and moved to different homes, I began to watch the current popular western TV shows of the time featuring characters such as Wyatt Earp, Bat Masterson, Matt Dillon, Paladin, Lucas McCain, Johnny Yuma, Wild Bill Hickok, Annie Oakley, Zorro, Lt. Rip Masters, The Lone Ranger, Davy Crockett, and probably more, which I do not recall now. Thus, these characters became somewhat of role models to me and created a desire to become a “lawman.” But then again, I also wanted to be a teacher, a military officer, and a farmer. Strangely enough, I did actually did accomplish all four of those juvenile desires, not by proper planning, but by taking advantage of opportunities that sprang up unexpectedly.

During my younger preteen years, I read many comic books. However, those cartoon “heroes” did not create any desires in me to become them. They were “unreal,” completely fake, unlike the “real” people playing the characters of heros I watched on TV. Sure, I would imagine or fantasize what it would be like to have super powers or abilities, but I also knew that even though they were fun stories, such things did not exist in the real world. However, it was fun to dress up as Superman at Halloween.

While still in a K-8 elementary school, I wrote a book report using the autobiography of Wyatt Earp. This really cemented the subconscious desire to follow his example. Sadly, my real life, the Vietnam conflict, and the “draft” teamed up to cause a temporary blockage to that desire when I joined the Air Force to avoid being drafted into the Army upon flunking out of my first year of college.

Upon my discharge from the Air Force, I returned to college life this time at Brigham Young University for one semester before moving to Tucson. During the Christmas break, I had gone to Tucson to visit an ex-military family that had been my “adopted family” while I served in Florida. One day, while stopped at a traffic light, I saw a billboard that read, “Support Your Local Sheriff.” I thought it was an advertisement for the James Garner movie by the same name. When I glanced at the sign again, I noticed the rest of the message, which read in its entirety, “Support Your Local Sheriff, Get a Massage.” As it turned out, the local sheriff owned the massage parlors in Tucson.

A day or two later, I was at my adopted family’s home when some ladies from the church visited and I overheard one of them telling how the “crooked” sheriff had recently resigned rather than face prosecution and the department was hiring because about half of his deputies resigned at the same time. I saw an opportunity because at the time, police officers were not very popular, much more so than nowadays. I returned to BYU, took my final semester exams, then returned to Tucson, and submitted an application.

Eventually, I entered the police academy. On the first day of class, I learned two important life lessons. The first one is that an electric shaver does not shave close enough and I have used a razor ever since. The second lesson involves what we were all told. The academy commandant informed us that for each of the 23 deputy sheriff cadets in our class, they had interviewed 10 applicants; 230 in all. If I had known in advance that the odds of selection were 1 in 10, I never would have applied. I learned to try in spite of the odds.

One of the questions asked of me by the selection board was, “How do you see this position; as a police officer or as a peace officer?” I answered, “peace officer.” I have always believed that it is better to solve a problem than to simply treat the symptom by taking the easiest solution (i.e. arrest someone).

Thus, during my time as a deputy, there were two cases that I consider my best work.

The first case involved a “runaway” boy from one of our church member families. While the other deputies working in the substation, would have waited until they spotted him, arrest him, and deliver him to the juvenile authorities, I took a different approach. I went to a convenience store where kids of his age would visit and spoke to several to see if they knew the boy. To those who said they did know him, I asked them to give him a message if they were to see him. It worked. The boy came to where I was waiting one day and I spoke with him about how his parents were worried about him and how much trouble he would cause the family he was staying with, if any other deputy should find him. I explained to him he needs to go home before he causes a problem. I phoned his parents and informed them the boy is okay and would return home in a day or two. He went home the next day. Case closed with potential problems avoided.

The second case also involves a boy, also about 12-years old. This boy was repeatedly cutting through a neighbor’s property, taking a shortcut to the school bus stop after being told not to trespass by the property owner. This was a big deal to the owner as he and his wife were building their house and all the walls were not up yet, specifically the bathroom walls.

When I arrived at the boy’s home one afternoon, the “runaway” boy from the previous story was also there. I explained the situation and the trespassing law to the boy and asked him what we should do about it. He had a small “chip-on-his-shoulder” and told me that he did not know. So, I told him that I should probably take him to Tucson and let his parents come there to get him. (I can be mean when I have to be.) The boy immediately burst into tears. I cannot stand it when kids cry and my heart melted. I had not even planned to carry out my statement but only intended to place some major psychological pressure on him. I gave him a reasonable alternative just between us with no report to his parents. 1.  Go and apologize to the owner, 2. explain about the school bus shortcut, 3. promise not to use the shortcut again, and 4. ask if after the house was finished, he could use the shortcut again. I told the runaway boy never to tell anyone that the first boy had cried. I drove to the owner’s house and reported on my conversation with the boy. I explained that I don’t want a neighborhood feud and was giving the boy a chance to redeem himself. At first the man was a little unhappy but he came around to my view. As we were talking, I saw the boy walking towards where we were, so I told the man that they could work this out and I left. We never got another call from that man concerning the boy and no feud developed.

That is what “keeping the peace” is all about.

My Childhood TV Heros

Annie Oakley
Annie Oakley TV Show Opening Theme

Bat Masterson
Bat Masterson TV Show Ending & Theme

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett TV Show Theme
Matt Dillon played by
James Arnes
Gunsmoke TV Show Theme

Johnny Yuma played by
Nick Adams
The Rebel TV Show Theme
The Lone Ranger played by
Clayton Moore
The Lone Ranger TV Show Opening & Theme

Lt. Rip Masters played by
James Brown
The Adventures of Rin-Tin-Tin Opening Theme

Paladin played by
Richard Boone
Have Gun Will Travel TV Show Theme

Roy Rogers & Trigger
Roy Rogers TV Show Opening

Sheriff John played by
John Rovick
Sheriff John Cartoon Show Biography
Lucas McCain played by
Chuck Connors
The Rifleman TV Show Ending & Theme

Wild Bill Hickok
James Butler Hickok
Wild Bill Hickok TV Show Opening (and one episode)

Wyatt Earp
Ballad of Wyatt Earp TV Show Theme

Zorro played by
Guy Madison
Zorro TV Show Opening & Theme
© 9 June 2013 

About the Author 

Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA
I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in
Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach.  Just
prior to turning 8 years old in 1956, I began living with my grandparents on
their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my
parents divorced.
When united with my mother and stepfather two years later
in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California,
graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force,
I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until
her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11
terrorist attack.
I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.   I find writing these memories to be
therapeutic.

My story blog is, TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com.

Keeping the Peace by Ray S

Maude and Emily, nee Clyde and Frank Le Clerke, they were married in Canada and Frank took Clyde’s surname in preference to his own Germanic Danglebunger.

They have a long history together, now in their late sixties they are the epitome of ideal monogamous married folks. Oh once in a while they were known to stray from the straight and narrow but just for an occasional fling—nothing more than a brash alcoholic one nighter when one or the other was away on business, and later in life the excitement of some mutually arranged three-ways. But, enough of the intimate details.

The two had met soon after the Stonewall period in a rather select hotel bar, not the usual black hole of Calcutta with a key to the back room. At the time they were two butterflies emerging from their constrictive cocoons. Clyde was a wanna be theatrical producer whose primary occupation was assistant to a well-known stage costume designer—until retirement recently.

Lt. Col. Frank Le Clerke, nee Danglebunger, Retd. had enjoyed a carefully closeted military career with the aid and cooperation of his lovely wife, now moved on to greener pastures. It had been a rewarding-in-so-many-ways period in his life, even with the 2.4 children and a choice dictated by a good WASP family life and successful entry to the military academy. You had to do what formulas and middleclass America required then, and other possibilities were unheard of, replete with influences leading to a reward of hell and damnation. Thus knowingly or unknowingly he sought the cozy confines of the nearest closet.

Since all of that water passed over the dam, the “girls” have led a relatively peaceful and comfortable gay life. They are now rewarded with five grandchildren, courtesy of the younger Danglebungers, and the acquisition of an early twentieth century brownstone overlooking the city’s downtown. Needless to say, Clyde supervised the interior makeover of the old house. Frank saw to the bills and supervised the various young sub-contractors.

As described in the preceding information, all was harmonious at 6969 Oak Avenue until several months ago when the subject of the approach of the annual Gay Pride events and especially the grand parade on the last day of Pride Week came up.

For as long as they care to remember they had entered into the parade plans with enthusiasm verging on manic. Each year their entry and participation had to outdo that of the last. Hadn’t they won first prize seven odd times and become known as the Queens of the Floating Prides? These two were committed, this time of the year preempted all other yearly celebrations including birthdays and holidays. Each had his just due by the Pride Parade, and their own entry took the lead.

But this year try as they may the two couldn’t seem to agree on a theme and subsequent design and costumes. Was there anything in the way of stories and guises that the city’s drag queens hadn’t used before? The answer was of course NO, but there had to be something different this year.

What about a miniaturized replica of the Stonewall on the float with the two of them dressed as a drag queen and a New York cop? Frank said yes, and he could even wear his old Army sidearm. Clyde responded that Frank was too old to expose himself, when Frank then corrected Clyde explaining sidearm was a common term for a pistol in a holster, not an anatomical part.

Clyde had his own grand vision of the two of them presenting themselves as models in a 1920’s fashion show descending a circular staircase built on the float. Turned out to be too high to clear the utility lines across the parade route. What about a Broadway Ziegfeld follies theme, lower stairway with them costumed in Clyde’s own designed follies gowns. Frank didn’t like the stairs in any case because he no longer was as steady as he used to be in those six-inch stiletto heels.

Alas, the time was growing shorter and neither could agree; keeping the peace was to be a lost cause.

It was three weeks to go and a Saturday morning. Frank had suited up for his early run in the park. Clyde had accompanied him, only to find his usual park bench close to the running path so as to enjoy viewing all the naked boys, well at least stripped to their waists. Springtime in the park turned out to be inspirational in so many ways.

Frank enjoyed the respectful, admiring and acknowledging similes of some of the naked boys as they passed him. He visualized how these men would appear dressed or undressed as Athenian athletes racing each other in an Olympic marathon. He was glad he had his loose fitting running shorts on.

Clyde was distracted from his studies by the nearby cackle and proud array of one of the park’s peacocks in full plumage display. “That’s it,” the light bulb shown brilliantly in his creative imagination. He hadn’t been a producer in show business, but he had produced some great costume designs. Hope springs eternal!

Sunday morning, the parade’s designated meeting place has been accomplished and the show is well on its way. Weather is cooperating, the girls’ pancake and mascara isn’t running. The bands are playing loud and noisy. Then to the tune of the familiar “Moaning Low” the contingent of “Floating Prides” arrived at the reviewing stand.

Oh, so many beautiful, bizarre, horny queens in full array and display. It was a wondrously true sight to behold.

But what of our girls? Where were the perennial prize takers?

Seems that Saturday afternoon after the park, Maude and Emily, nee Clyde and Frank, had a nice al fresco lunch and bottle of bubbly to discuss some brand new float designs gained as a result of their morning’s exertions.

Then as so many old queens tend to do, they went antique store browsing. Nothing in particular in mind when both were struck by a really cheesy style gold guilt pharaoh-like throne, replete in leopard print upholstery. Ta-da.

OMG—look at that! Here comes a team of four sort-of-white horses with applied zebra stripes drawing a float complete with a temple of Karnack backdrop; raised dais for that chair now elevated to a throne for none other than Cleopatra dressed in shimmering gauze revealing her tasteful black lace lingerie and fish net hose. All of this crowning her black Egyptian wig with a full peacock crown. I swear it could have been Claudette Colbert in the DeMille Cleopatra, or maybe even Liz.

And at her side in full man-tan stood as naked as he was allowed due to children attending the parade stood Frank, nee Emily—this time doing his damndest to recreate the fit Frank Danglebunger of past times. Marc Anthony would have looked half as good if he had lived long enough to qualify for various military benefits and Social Security, or whatever.

The horse-zebras drew our two Pridly Queen’s float past the dignitaries on the reviewing stand (one of the animals couldn’t hold it any longer—must have been all that music and cheering) and left a respectable deposit for the occupants of the reviewing stand, as well as the rest of the parade. Oh shit! But they kept the peace in the Le Clerke homestead for another year.

Denver, June 2013

About the Author

Keeping the Peace by Louis

When I was 6 years old, in 1950, living with my parents, grandmother and 4 brothers in College Point, NY, I experienced real fear for the first time. My parents’ home was a 2-family antique, we lived downstairs, an Irish woman, Pat, lived upstairs with her boyfriend and daughter, Gail. Unbeknownst to my parents, Pat was married to a sailor who was Gail’s father, but the sailor father had been away in Korea for a long time. Gail was 6 years old, like myself. We were playmates.

Morally outraged father showed up on the scene and assaulted Bill, Pat’s boyfriend, inflicting serious injuries on him for which he had to be hospitalized, Little Gail came running downstairs. My mother took her to the nearby house of a friend. My father called the police. The police showed, arranged to have Bill and Pat taken to the hospital. A little later another police officer took charge of 6 year old Gail. Of course I was downstairs terrified hearing all the noise in the upstairs apartment. Furniture was being tossed about. My father reassured me it would all soon be over. After the police were through, the four actors in this drama had all disappeared. The apartment was silent and empty for a couple of months. Our new tenants were an Irish mother, Dolores, who came from the Bronx and her daughter, Edna. They created some of their own interesting stories.

From what my mother later told me, once recovered from her beating, Pat moved into an apartment over a bar but had to wait for about two months until her daughter was released to her custody. Then Dad came to her front door (at that other apartment) and banged and banged and eventually broke the lock and assaulted Pat once more. Pat obtained an Order of Protection (although they might have used a different term way back then). When the police again arrested Dad, he agreed to counseling from a Catholic priest. The priest was also in contact with Pat. Dad “repented”, for a while, but after about six weeks, he returned to his wife’s apartment in the middle of the night and again tried to terrorize her.

Pat was practical. She went downstairs and requested the assistance of the two bar bouncers. Dad was released from prison, and showed up twice more but was rebuffed, pommeled and humiliated by the two bouncers who were glad to assist Pat and Gail, to protect mother and daughter. Finally unwanted visits from the morally outraged husband ceased. So in this story the two heroic peacekeepers were the bar bouncers.

Moral: repenting to please a priest is one thing, but sometimes force or “gentle persuasion” is a better deterrent. This whole episode made me think about the mores of heterosexuals. The whole notion of imposing one’s will on someone else or on another group of people, using fisticuffs, is totally foreign to me and to my family. I suppose that, according to heterosexual rules, Pat was a sinner, but sinners are supposed to be forgiven not pommeled by a bully. Or am I being too civilized?

I remember Bill the other sinner. He used to bounce me on his knee and tousle my hair. I liked the way he smelled. He had good posture and was handsome. I guess I had an idea of who I really was at the tender age of 6. Of course, I did not know the terms used, “gay,” “homosexual” and the long list of derogatory names.

Yes Bill reappeared in Pat’s life after she divorced Gail’s Dad, but left after about a year. I heard from another well-informed College Point neighbor that eventually, except for daughter Gail, they all died. Did all their suffering have any lasting meaning? Guess not.

In College Point, there were a large number of wife-beaters. Naturally, I was horrified by hearing their stories and so embraced women’s liberation as a needed political movement to give women more options than to be a punching bag for an abusive husband.

Denver, 2013

About the Author

I was born in 1944, I lived most of my life in New York City, Queens County. I still commute there. I worked for many years as a Caseworker for New York City Human Resources Administration, dealing with mentally impaired clients, then as a social work Supervisor dealing with homeless PWA’s. I have an apartment in Wheat Ridge, CO. I retired in 2002. I have a few interesting stories to tell. My boyfriend Kevin lives in New York City. I graduated Queens College, CUNY, in 1967.