Clubs, by Betsy

In 1950 when I was 15 years old our family moved from New
Jersey to Louisiana.
I have often said a comparable change would be moving from
Earth to the moon.
In this case, however, the moon would have been populated
with humanoids who had their own culture and language–very much different from
anything I had ever encountered in my young life. However, I was young and I
had much to learn and experience. 
The first difference that I noticed in my new home was the
blatant discrimination and racist practices carried out against people of
color. I’m not so sure the same thing was not going on in New Jersey. I suspect
I just didn’t see it. It was hidden. In the deep South, it couldn’t be hidden
because of the large population of African Americans.  Almost every household in my new hometown had
at least one black person working for them. These family servants had to have
their own toilet facilities usually outside or in the garage, their own private
glass from which to get a drink of water (never would a white person want to
drink from the same glass!) We all know about the public drinking fountains.
Of course, the schools were segregated as was everything
else. I left the South to attend college in New York State in 1953 never to
return except for visits with my parents.
After federal legislation made segregation illegal in the
1960’s nothing changed much in Louisiana. These southern people are slow moving
indeed.  It was not until the late 1970’s
that they finally were forced to allow black people to use public facilities
such as restaurants. On one occasion when I returned to Hammond for a visit, my
high school friend suggested we go out to dinner. She assured me they had
solved the problem of integration by making the city restaurants into private
clubs. Most whites belonged to all the clubs and there were many of them. We
would have to take our own liquor since it was no longer a public place. The
private clubs could or would not get licenses to sell liquor. 
White folks continued for decades to claim that the culture
of segregation is justified because everyone is happy with the status quo
including blacks. That’s how we want it and that’s how they want it, was the
claim.  People want to stay in their
place and keep to themselves. Keep to themselves, maybe, but stay in their
current place–please!
The last time I visited Hammond, Louisiana was in 2003 when I
attended my fiftieth high school reunion. I had no family there except in the
cemetery in the church yard.
I was happy to see that the public places that had had a
brief existence as private clubs–they had all become public places again,
businesses now open to all people. The college in Hammond–a branch of
Louisiana State University–included many black students, and many higher
paying positions previously unavailable to people of color were now occupied by
African Americans. Change comes slowly but change for the better had indeed
come to Hammond Louisiana albeit at the expense of the lives of many good
people and many hard-fought battles lasting for decades.
It saddens me more than I can say to watch the evening news
and see that racism is alive and well today in the United States of
America–land of the free and home of the brave—and not just in the South.  At the same time, I am happy to see that
public places are not changing into private clubs in order to avoid the law of
the land. The law of the land has made segregation in public places illegal as
it should be. In spite of this institutional racism is prevalent. A young law
abiding African American or Latino male in some locations is suspect simply
because of who he is. Racial profiling is common practice in some areas. Our
prisons are filled with men and women of color in numbers disproportionate to
the population. In recent years, we have witnessed the passage of laws in some
states designed to make it almost impossible for certain people to vote. Those
laws, in my opinion, target low income people of color. 
While being white, I have not had to experience the horrors
of decades of discrimination I have described here. I have, however,
experienced on a very few brief occasions the hatred felt toward a person who
is perceived as being different and a threat to the power structure. We have
seen that progress against discrimination and hatred can come quickly when our
leaders pass laws making discrimination illegal.
I want to believe there is a basic innate goodness in all
human beings on this planet–our leaders, law enforcement officials, even the
wrong-doers and criminals.
Let us step back and consider our place in the universe–so
small, so isolated, so seemingly vulnerable. 
At the same time, we must consider that we are creatures who have the
capacity to love each other and to love this tiny speck of rock we live
on.  Love is the means to peace on Earth,
I believe.  Let us look beyond our egos
and other constructs of the mind. It is our egos that drive us to create clubs
so we can segregate ourselves from each other. Let us all look inside beyond
our egos and awaken to our very core, our being, which is love. I do believe
love is the answer for us humans.


 © 23 Mar 2015 
About the Author 
Betsy has been active in
the GLBT community including PFLAG, the Denver Women’s Chorus, OLOC (Old
Lesbians Organizing for Change), and the GLBT Community Center. She has been
retired from the human services field for 20 years. Since her retirement, her major
activities have included tennis, camping, traveling, teaching skiing as a
volunteer instructor with the National Sports Center for the Disabled, reading,
writing, and learning. Betsy came out as a lesbian after 25 years of marriage.
She has a close relationship with her three children and four grandchildren.
Betsy says her greatest and most meaningful enjoyment comes from sharing her
life with her partner of 30 years, Gillian Edwards.

Sports, by Betsy

As a child I was not
involved in any organized sports.  No
soccer leagues, no softball for girls, mostly just playtime and as an older
child “hanging out.”
We did play sports in
school.  I remember kick ball–just like
baseball only you kick a soccer-sized rubber ball–then run around the bases. I
loved that game.  Also dodge ball was big
in elementary grades. 
When I was about ten my
father took me out on skis a few times. Not to a ski area, rather cross
country.  Being in the lumber business he
knew where the old abandoned roads were and I was proud of myself indeed to be
out on skis with my Daddy.  For a few
years the family would venture up to Old Forge in the Adirondack Mountains,
stay in a hotel and ski at the ski area. In those days in NY State a rope tow
was the best means of propulsion to the top of the ridge.
I loved skiing, except
for getting cold.  Today 70 years later I
am still skiing and have no intention of giving it up any time soon.
Also in the winter we had
many opportunities for ice skating. We would skate on the nearby lake, in fact,
I could skate to school at the other end of the lake.  In New Jersey our lake froze over quite often
as I remember. 
On a couple of occasions as a child my Daddy
took me to the local horse stables where we could rent a couple of horses and
off we would go. Just walking an old nag, I’m sure. 
But again, I was on top of the world because I was with my Daddy. That
was probably the best sports experience of those early days and we probably
only went out on horses a couple of times. I was devastated when I had to quit
that because I was allergic to horses.
My mother was not
athletic and did not like sports except bowling which she participated in
weekly for many years.  I do believe it
was more of a social activity for her than a competition. However, she always
went along on the ski trips and was a good sport about it.
Around age 15 my Daddy
taught me to play golf.  He was a avid
golfer and quite skilled at the game. In the ensuing year I came to take it
quite seriously, playing for fun and in occasional competitive events in high
school and college.
As I am writing this, I
keep thinking of more and more sports which were introduced to me by my father.
He really had been quite an athlete himself in college. I know that because at
home in the attic I happened upon some of the medals and certificates awarded
to him.
I am also reminded of
sporting events my father took me to watch. What I remember best are the hot
dogs at Ebbets Field or maybe it was Yankee Stadium.  The game I thought boring to watch, but I
enjoyed the yummy hot dogs slathered in mayo, mustard, and pickles.
Also memorable was the
time we went to see Babe Didrikson Zaharias* play golf in an LPGA [Ladies Professional Golf Association] tournament in
New Orleans. Babe was the greatest woman athlete of her day.  Having competed in the Olympic games in
track, she was now a golf champion. I must have been around 16 or 17 at the
time of that event since we lived near New Orleans. I will never forget
approaching her when she was practicing on the putting green before a
match.  She signed my program for me and
my heart went thumpity-thump.
Another sport my father
taught me was ping pong. We had an enclosed sun porch at the back of our house
in New Jersey which housed our ping pong table. Daddy would challenge me to a
game and start out by announcing that he would even the playing field, so to
speak, by tying his right arm behind him, or spotting me a number of points. As
I grew older and more adept, the number of points he spotted me diminished
until finally we were even. He could not have been happier, which was a message
to me about what is really important in sports.
When I was in high school we were forced to
move from New Jersey, a rather progressive place, to Louisiana, the ultimate in
conservatism and tradition. We, of course, had to give up the winter sports.
After the move in  school my sports
participation came to a rather screeching halt. Girls did not do sports in my
Louisiana high school.  It might cause a
girl to sweat, which is not lady-like.The best I could do was to be a cheer
leader and cheer on the boys.
It was then that my
father taught me to play golf. It was my saving grace when it comes to sports
participation during those three years in Louisiana.
My choice to leave the
deep south and go back north to college was probably driven somewhat by my love
of sports and particularly winter sports.
When I married and became
the mother of three children, I gave up golf and took up tennis.  I found that I could from time to time manage
an hour of tennis, but never could I find a half a day for a round of golf.
Also money was tight. Public tennis courts are free, not so with the golf
course, even public ones.  Also during my
years of mothering I coached my girls’ recreational
soccer league teams.  When that was over
and I was age 40 something I started playing the game until I turned 60. 
I continued playing
tennis for the rest of my life, my Patty Berg signature golf clubs gathering
dust in the attic. I have been tempted but have not found time to get back into
golf.  I’m spending too much time and having too
much fun on the tennis court.
The sports introduced to
me by my father have been very important to me throughout my life and continue
to be so. They have opened up doors, brought me closer to friends and family
simply by being able to play together. Teaching and participating in sports
with each of my three children I know has brought us closer together over the
years.
Some of my best
friendships have grown out of my interest and participation in sports.  I play regularly with good friends at the
Denver Tennis Club, tennis and ping pong. I’m happy to say that my lovely Gillian has
joined me in ping pong.  She is a
formidable player and we have our own table at home.
I still play ping pong,
ski cross-country and downhill. I have taught skiing to the disabled for 16
years at the National Sports Center for Disabled, which has been an educational
experience, and enlightening.
Did I mention cycling?
Like most kids I had a bicycle back in New Jersey as a youngster.  I rode it to school and rode around the area
with my friends.  We pedaled our bikes to
the movies on Saturdays and to the drug store for sodas.
I took up serious cycling
when I retired in 1998.  My ambition upon
retirement had been to hike the Colorado Trail. 
I had worked as a volunteer building the trail now I wanted to hike the
entire length. When the time came, I had to give up the idea because of a
chronic back condition. So instead I took up cycling and have had some of the
best adventures of my life as a result–the ultimate being the trip from the
Pacific to the Atlantic which I pedaled in 2005. 
I am fortunate that I
have an aptitude and a proclivity for sports–most sports, and have had the
opportunity to learn to play, to practice, and the health to participate in
them which is truly the love of my life–well, one of them anyway.
© 13 Nov 2014 
About
the Author
 

Betsy has been active in
the GLBT community including PFLAG, the Denver Women’s Chorus, OLOC (Old
Lesbians Organizing for Change), and the GLBT Community Center. She has been
retired from the human services field for 20 years. Since her retirement, her major
activities have included tennis, camping, traveling, teaching skiing as a
volunteer instructor with the National Sports Center for the Disabled, reading,
writing, and learning. Betsy came out as a lesbian after 25 years of marriage.
She has a close relationship with her three children and four grandchildren.
Betsy says her greatest and most meaningful enjoyment comes from sharing her
life with her partner of 30 years, Gillian Edwards.