It’s just not a part of my reality: my
psyche. As far as I can tell, in retrospect, neither of my parents had a
competitive bone in their body. So I come by competitiveness, or the lack of
it, honestly. The only kind of competition they introduced me to, if it’s worthy of the term, was of the why
don’t
you see if you can do a little better next time variety;
competition with myself. So it’s
hardly surprising that I consider that to be the only contest worth the
winning; making myself just a little better every time.
psyche. As far as I can tell, in retrospect, neither of my parents had a
competitive bone in their body. So I come by competitiveness, or the lack of
it, honestly. The only kind of competition they introduced me to, if it’s worthy of the term, was of the why
don’t
you see if you can do a little better next time variety;
competition with myself. So it’s
hardly surprising that I consider that to be the only contest worth the
winning; making myself just a little better every time.
I remember, back in
the John Elway days, the first time we, by which I mean the Denver Broncos,
lost the Superbowl. On the local news following the game they gave out phone
numbers of local therapists standing by to help Bronco fans deal with their
emotions. I was simply amazed. It’s
a game, for God’s sake, not World War Three.
the John Elway days, the first time we, by which I mean the Denver Broncos,
lost the Superbowl. On the local news following the game they gave out phone
numbers of local therapists standing by to help Bronco fans deal with their
emotions. I was simply amazed. It’s
a game, for God’s sake, not World War Three.
Years ago, perhaps
in the late ‘50’s, I read an article in I know not
what newspaper or magazine, written by a Brit, claiming that Britain was a “good
enough”
country.
We had lost our drive for perfection and were happy to settle for “good
enough.”
I’m not sure of this, but I think my
attitude, which undeniably has a certain shade of “good
enough,”
in
it, as did that of my parents, and the country at large, might have stemmed
from World War Two. And perhaps a carry-over from World War One.
in the late ‘50’s, I read an article in I know not
what newspaper or magazine, written by a Brit, claiming that Britain was a “good
enough”
country.
We had lost our drive for perfection and were happy to settle for “good
enough.”
I’m not sure of this, but I think my
attitude, which undeniably has a certain shade of “good
enough,”
in
it, as did that of my parents, and the country at large, might have stemmed
from World War Two. And perhaps a carry-over from World War One.
In a country
subject to harsh rationing during, and for years after, World War Two, meals
were frequently “good enough,”
and
that often required a ton of positive thinking. When Churchill reviewed the
rations he judged them adequate, until he was told they were for a week, not a
day as he had supposed. With one egg and one ounce of cheese a week, it is
actually very positive to be able to proclaim a meal, “good enough.”
subject to harsh rationing during, and for years after, World War Two, meals
were frequently “good enough,”
and
that often required a ton of positive thinking. When Churchill reviewed the
rations he judged them adequate, until he was told they were for a week, not a
day as he had supposed. With one egg and one ounce of cheese a week, it is
actually very positive to be able to proclaim a meal, “good enough.”
During and after
the First War, women took up jobs which were traditionally “man’s work.”
In
Britain roughly two million woman replaced the men who had left to fight, so
many of whom were destined never to return. Many women took over this work by
choice, but many, especially in country areas, had no choice. You had a
farm to keep up and there were no men left to do the work, so women must do it.
Given the situation, and knowing how hard all farming families worked even
before the men left, I can well imagine exhausted and demoralized women
struggling with overwork, much of it unfamiliar to them, tossing down the
carpentry tools or stabling the plow horse and saying it would just have to be
good enough. It’s
hard to strive for perfection when you are inexperienced, exhausted, and
overwhelmed.
the First War, women took up jobs which were traditionally “man’s work.”
In
Britain roughly two million woman replaced the men who had left to fight, so
many of whom were destined never to return. Many women took over this work by
choice, but many, especially in country areas, had no choice. You had a
farm to keep up and there were no men left to do the work, so women must do it.
Given the situation, and knowing how hard all farming families worked even
before the men left, I can well imagine exhausted and demoralized women
struggling with overwork, much of it unfamiliar to them, tossing down the
carpentry tools or stabling the plow horse and saying it would just have to be
good enough. It’s
hard to strive for perfection when you are inexperienced, exhausted, and
overwhelmed.
I can imagine the
same thing of many members of the upper class who lost most of their servants
either directly or indirectly to the war. My Lord having to clip his own hedges
for the first time in his life and Milady forced to mend her torn curtains,
might well have finished their attempts saying, in effect, that it would “jolly
well have to be good enough.”
same thing of many members of the upper class who lost most of their servants
either directly or indirectly to the war. My Lord having to clip his own hedges
for the first time in his life and Milady forced to mend her torn curtains,
might well have finished their attempts saying, in effect, that it would “jolly
well have to be good enough.”
I very much doubt
that Britain is a “good enough”
country
these days. I’m
sure there is as much perfection per capita as anywhere else. And prior the two
world wars, the British were responsible for many inventions; everything from
Isaac Newton’s
telescope to the steam engine, spoked wheels to cement, chocolate bars, and jet
engines. Inventions may occasionally be due to some accident or mistake, but
they are rarely precipitated by a shrugged “it’s good enough.”
that Britain is a “good enough”
country
these days. I’m
sure there is as much perfection per capita as anywhere else. And prior the two
world wars, the British were responsible for many inventions; everything from
Isaac Newton’s
telescope to the steam engine, spoked wheels to cement, chocolate bars, and jet
engines. Inventions may occasionally be due to some accident or mistake, but
they are rarely precipitated by a shrugged “it’s good enough.”
I often hear,
though, even now, that the Brits frequently lack that killer instinct that
fires you to be really competitive; to win at all cost. Britain still tends to
cling to the idea that it’s
how you play the game that matters, not whether you win or lose. That is very
much the attitude my parents gave to me. I have never lost it. On the whole,
although there’s
certainly an argument to be made that humanity would have accomplished a great
deal less, I think the world would be a better place without competition. I am,
after all, an unapologetic peacenik, and what is war but the most extreme form
of competition?
though, even now, that the Brits frequently lack that killer instinct that
fires you to be really competitive; to win at all cost. Britain still tends to
cling to the idea that it’s
how you play the game that matters, not whether you win or lose. That is very
much the attitude my parents gave to me. I have never lost it. On the whole,
although there’s
certainly an argument to be made that humanity would have accomplished a great
deal less, I think the world would be a better place without competition. I am,
after all, an unapologetic peacenik, and what is war but the most extreme form
of competition?
© February 2014
About the Author
I
was born and raised in England. After graduation from college there, I moved to
the U.S. and, having discovered Colorado, never left. I have lived in the
Denver-Boulder area since 1965, working for 30 years at IBM. I married, raised
four stepchildren, then got divorced after finally, in my forties, accepting
myself as a lesbian. I have now been with my wonderful partner Betsy for 25
years.
was born and raised in England. After graduation from college there, I moved to
the U.S. and, having discovered Colorado, never left. I have lived in the
Denver-Boulder area since 1965, working for 30 years at IBM. I married, raised
four stepchildren, then got divorced after finally, in my forties, accepting
myself as a lesbian. I have now been with my wonderful partner Betsy for 25
years.
