Fairy Tales, by Ricky

I know I’m not the only one who noticed how fairy tales are used to teach safety, appreciation, and “standards” of conduct. The brothers Grimm and Aesop are perhaps the best known to my youth. The Grimm’s tales were often rather grim (pun intended) and Aesop is known for the “moral” aspect of his tales.

While the overall stories seem adventurous enough for small children, the overt warnings are clear–all step-mothers are wicked (Cinderella, Hansel & Gretel, Snow White), witches are evil (Snow White, Hansel & Gretel), never take candy (or gingerbread) from strangers (Hansel & Gretel), the woods are dangerous places (Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel & Gretel, Wizard of Oz—which is just a very long fairy tale).

Then just when a child has it all internalized, the contradictions become apparent. Not everyone in the woods is evil or bad (Snow White’s dwarfs, Little Red Riding Hood’s woodsman, Wizard of Oz’s Tin Woodsman). All princes are handsome and heroic (Snow White & Cinderella, but not the singer Prinz). Mothers believe their sons are not very intelligent (Jack and the Beanstalk) nor do they believe in magic. Adults (who trade beans for cows) don’t believe in magic even when they say they do (Jack and the Beanstalk). Children do believe in magic, that’s why the beans did grow.

The fairy tales tell of justice served, if not always measured. Wolves get killed and grandmas rescued (Little Red Riding Hood). Bad little boys get eaten (the Boy Who Cried Wolf). Evil witches are destroyed, some in ovens and some by falling houses (Hansel & Gretel, Wizard of Oz). The ultimate “justice served” is of course the “Happily Ever After” part.

Now the third most important question concerning fairy tales follows. Except for Glenda in the Wizard of Oz, “Why are there no good witches in fairy tales?”

The second most important question is dealing with fairy tales is, “Why are there no wicked step-fathers?” Perhaps because men wrote or told the stories???

I will now answer the most important question. The answer is “Peter Pan.” Why? You ask. Because that is my favorite fairy tale, (Tinkerbelle is a fairy so it counts as a fairy tale). I don’t know why it is my favorite, it just is. Hmmmmmm. Let’s see—Peter Pan, playing with the Lost Boys and a fairy. Hey! Peter Pan is gay!!!

© 2011

About the Author

I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach. Just prior to turning 8 years old in 1956, I began living with my grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents divorced.

When united with my mother and stepfather two years later in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11 terrorist attack.

I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. I find writing these memories to be therapeutic.

My story blog is TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com

Fairy Tales, by Ricky

          I know I’m not
the only one who noticed how fairy tales are used to teach safety,
appreciation, and “standards” of conduct. 
The brothers Grimm and Aesop are perhaps the best known to my youth.  The Grimm’s tales were often rather grim (pun
intended) and Aesop is known for the “moral” aspect of his tales.
          While the
overall stories seem adventurous enough for small children, the overt warnings
are clear–all step-mothers are wicked (Cinderella, Hansel & Gretel, Snow
White), witches are evil (Snow White, Hansel & Gretel), never take candy
(or gingerbread) from strangers (Hansel & Gretel), the woods are dangerous
places (Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel & Gretel, Wizard of Oz—which is just
a very long fairy tale).
          Then just when
a child has it all internalized, the contradictions become apparent.  Not everyone in the woods is evil or bad
(Snow White’s dwarfs, Little Red Ridding Hood’s woodsman, Wizard of Oz’s Tin
Woodsman). All princes are handsome and heroic (Snow White & Cinderella,
but not the singer Prinz).  Mothers
believe their sons are not very intelligent (Jack and the Beanstalk) nor do
they believe in magic.  Adults (who trade
beans for cows) don’t believe in magic even when they say they do (Jack and the
Beanstalk).  Children do believe in
magic, that’s why the beans did grow.
          The fairy
tales tell of justice served, if not always measured.  Wolves get killed and grandmas rescued
(Little Red Riding Hood).  Bad little
boys get eaten (the Boy Who Cried Wolf). 
Evil witches are destroyed, some in ovens and some by falling houses
(Hansel & Gretel, Wizard of Oz).  The
ultimate “justice served” is of course the “Happily Ever After” part. 
Now the third most important question
concerning fairy tales follows.  Except
for Glenda in the Wizard of Oz, “Why are there no good witches in fairy tales?”
The second most important question is
dealing with fairy tales is, “Why are there no wicked step-fathers?” Perhaps
because men wrote or told the stories???
I will now answer the most important
question.  The answer is “Peter
Pan.”  Why?  You ask. 
Because that is my favorite fairy tale, (Tinkerbelle is a fairy
so it counts as a fairy tale).  I don’t
know why it is my favorite, it just is. 
Hmmmmmm.  Let’s see—Peter Pan,
playing with the Lost Boys and a fairy. 
Hey!  Peter Pan is gay!!!
© 22 Dec
2010 
About the
Author
 
 I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale
and then in Redondo Beach.  Just prior to
turning 8 years old in 1956, I was sent to live with my grandparents on their
farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents
divorced.
When united with my mother and stepfather two years later
in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California,
graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force,
I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until
her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11-2001
terrorist attack.
I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.   I find writing these memories to be
therapeutic.

When Things Don’t Work, by Ricky

I suppose I should begin with When I Don’t
Work
.  As a boy and teen, I was in a
perpetual state of work avoidance.  It
didn’t matter if it was chores at home or homework for school, I did not want
to do it.  When Mom asked me to do the
vacuuming and dishes, I would do the vacuuming but would delay doing the dishes
until it was very late and I had to go to bed before school the next day.  As for the homework, I did do that, but
procrastinated as long as possible.
The skill of procrastination did not serve me
well when I attended Sacramento State College right out of high school in
1966.  My English 101 class introduced me
to adult fantasy novels.  The professor
told us that his professional colleagues thought he was crazy to teach his
selected book of ‟trash” as English Literature. 
Our professor told us that we would be reading and discussing the story because
it was the up-and-coming genre of literature. 
He was so very correct as the book we studied is Tolkien’s Lord of
the Rings
.  I got so involved in the
story that I neglected most of my studies for two weeks and got so far behind I
was demoralized and so went on academic probation at the end of the
semester.  I then did not even try the
next semester so I flunked out of my first year of college.  I was still very immature.
After losing my academic deferment, I managed to
join the Air Force to avoid being drafted into the Army or Marine Corps.  I worried about the draft for nothing.  While I was attending Air Force basic
training, I received my draft notice—for the Navy.
The Air Force was good for me.  It gave me a safe place to finish growing up
and also taught me team work, skill with administrative work, a bit of
self-discipline, kept me out of Vietnam, and even paid me to learn.  Who could have asked for more?  After three years with my assigned unit, I
was selected to set up a newly organized squadron’s administrative section for
the squadron commander and first sergeant. 
It turned out that I really must have been a good worker as I was given
two medals for the work I did throughout my enlisted time.
I continued to work until a couple of years
following my wife’s passing.  Then my
depression was so bad I reverted back to my youth and avoided work whenever
possible.  Then after ten-years of
self-pity, I began to come alive again and sought out things to do that were
not work but mostly recreation.  I do
have modest financial stability through the VA, Civil Service retirement, and
Social Security but I needed to supplement my income a little bit, so after a
two-year search, I finally landed a position as a cashier in an adult video
store where I worked from 1 August 2012 through June 2016.
Now when things other than me don’t work, I react
totally different.  My behavior divides
according to specific scenarios.  The
first is, if the not-working thing is my property and can be fixed.  If I can fix it, I will try and do so.  If I cannot fix it, I send it to or call in a
repairman.  If that is not possible, I
will replace it or do without.
Second scenario is where the not-working thing is
a large project, if it is to be fixed, such as replacing the floor and wall
tile in a bathroom.  When I was in my
20’s, Deborah and I did just that.  I
know exactly how much work it was.  At my
age now, I am totally against do-it-yourself projects.  If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.  If it is broken, call in an expert repair
person and pay the price.
The third scenario consists of not-working things
that I have no direct control over.  The
prime example of this is Republican obstructionism in Congress for the past
six-plus years, known to me as the Bonner Do Nothing Republican Congress.  The only thing I can do about that is vote
and write letters.  Another example is
potholes in city or county roads.  I can
notify the authorities where the potholes are but nothing is done.  Then there are the roads which are repaved
and repainted and 3 to 6-months later, dug up to replace water or sewer
lines.  The powers that be don’t
coordinate getting the underground work done before the repaving, so streets
are often disrupted longer than necessary.
My number one pet peeve I believe falls into the
category of things that don’t work. The movie and theater industry repeatedly
miscast actors in their productions. 
Specifically, beginning with Maude Adams, productions of Peter Pan
have featured women in the title role. 
Barrie’s manuscripts clearly indicate that Peter was small and still had
all his baby teeth.  He was not an adult
woman or a teen-age boy.  At least Walt
Disney used a 12-year old Bobby Driscoe as the model for the Disney animators;
he just used the wrong aged model.  This
past week there was another made for TV broadcast production, Peter Pan
Live,
staring yet another adult female as Peter.  I am sure it was a good performance, although
I did not watch it.  Not to take anything
away from the actress and other cast members, the performance was still a
travesty.  The casting system is broken
and does not work with regards to Peter Pan and I am powerless to do
anything but complain.  Very frustrating
for me as Peter Pan is my all-time
favorite prepubescent story from childhood.
Anyone who has seen the musical Oliver,
knows there are many talented youngsters who can sing and dance.  If you search YouTube, you can find videos of
the search for and training of the actors who ended up playing Billy Elliott in
the American version stage play.  It is
nearly unbelievable the amount of talent children have.  There is absolutely no reason to keep casting
adult women as Peter.
Fortunately, someone has finally come along to
end my frustration.  While in a movie
theater this past week, I saw a preview of a new Peter Pan movie to be released
in the summer of 2015 titled, Pan
The role of Pan finally has been assigned to a young boy, one more
closely age appropriate and accurate to the original story.  The story itself is another prequel, but I
don’t care about that.  I just want to
see a more realistic Peter Pan.  So for
me, I can see that someone in the movie industry is actually trying to make
literary accurate movies whose cast actually resembles the characters in the
novels.
Just because some things don’t work, doesn’t mean
that someone cannot begin to fix them. 
Maybe there is hope for Congress too.
© 7 December 2014 / revised 3 Feb 2017
About the Author 
I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale
and then in Redondo Beach.  Just prior to
turning 8 years old in 1956, I was sent to live with my grandparents on their
farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents
divorced.
When united with my mother and stepfather two years later
in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California,
graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force,
I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until
her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11-2001
terrorist attack.
I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.   I find writing these memories to be
therapeutic.
My story blog is: TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com

Favorite Fantasy by Ricky

If I were to follow my financial greediness, my favorite fantasy would involve having lots of money so I could travel when and where I wanted. I am not greedy, but I could become so should I ever have large amounts of personal funds.

A not so favorite but highly enjoyable fantasy involves lots of Baseball Nut ice-cream every day for treats between meals.

As a pubescent pre-teen and an adolescent-teen, to help me fall asleep, I would draft movie plots in my head. One favorite was a series about a group of humanoid, pubescent, hermaphrodite, pre-teen aliens from another planet who land on Earth because their flying-saucer needed some repair. While here they used their advanced technology to secretly fight crime like the comic book heroes of the time.

During my youth, my all-time favorite fantasy, as you might expect from my previous stories, involves a lot of sexual behaviors featuring me. I won’t go into any details but if you could see the geographic setting for my adventures, you would understand without being told that my name in the fantasy is, Peter.

© 14 October 2013

About the Author

I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach. Just prior to turning 8 years old in 1956, I began living with my grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents divorced.

When united with my mother and stepfather two years later in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11 terrorist attack.

I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. I find writing these memories to be therapeutic. My story blog is TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com

Favorite Places by Ricky

I
have many “favorite places” depending upon which part of my life I am
remembering.  Only a few can be called
absolute favorites throughout my life. 
What follows is only a listing of those places which are withstanding
the ravages of time upon my memories.

These places are listed in no particular “favorite” order.

1.   Disneyland
– Peter Pan Ride (I first rode this in 1955)
2.   Disneyland
– Alice in Wonderland Ride (I first rode this in 1955)
3.   Lake
Tahoe – Emerald Bay (My first summer home at Lake Tahoe – 1958)
4.   LDS
Manti Temple (Deborah and I married here in 1973)
5.   Mt.
Rushmore, South Dakota (I recharge my patriotism here)
6.   Epcot
Center – Journey Into Imagination with Figment (My family LOVED this ride.  We rode it three times in a row without
getting off the ride to reenter.  This
link is for the newest version not the one we saw years ago.)
  
7.   BSA
Camp Winton (I was a boy camper 2 years and on the “Staph” in 1966.  The “staph” spelling was my idea.  My name is recorded around the “XX” brand
left of center.)
8.   Disneyland
Paris – Space Mountain (My youngest daughter, her friend boy, and I rode this
twice.) 
  
9.   Step-father’s
Tour Boat (I was his deckhand all summer in 1958)
10.   The
California Redwood forest at Trees of
Mystery.
  Specifically, the
“Cathedral Trees.”
The Redwoods

Joseph B. Strauss

Here,
sown by the Creator’s hand.
In serried ranks, the Redwoods stand:
No other clime is honored so,
No other lands their glory know.

The greatest of Earth’s living forms,
Tall conquerors that laugh at storms;
Their challenge still unanswered rings,
Through fifty centuries of kings.

The nations that with them were young,
Rich empires, with their forts far-flung,
Lie buried now-their splendor gone:
But these proud monarchs still live on.

So shall they live, when ends our days,
When our crude citadels decay;
For brief the years allotted man,
But infinite perennials’ span.

This is their temple, vaulted high,
And here, we pause with reverent eye,
With silent tongue and awestruck soul;
For here we sense life’s proper goal:

To be like these, straight, true and fine,
to make our world like theirs, a shrine;
Sink down, Oh, traveler, on your knees,
God stands before you in these trees.

© 7 July 2013

About the Author 

I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in
Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach.  Just
prior to turning 8 years old in 1956, I began living with my grandparents on
their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my
parents divorced.
When united with my mother and stepfather two years later
in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California,
graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force,
I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until
her passing from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11
terrorist attack.
I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.   I find writing these memories to be
therapeutic.
My story blog is, TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com.

Favorite Literary Character by Ricky

At my age it is not surprising that I have a lifetime of literary characters to choose from to become my favorite. I have never before thought of which character was my favorite so the mental process of searching memories and titles should have taken quite a while. Fortunately, it did not take too long at all.

In my writings for this our Telling Your Story (TYS) group and in conversations with group members, I have often mentioned that my personality, psychological makeup, and emotions, are those of a 12-year old but with an adult body. That is to say, I feel and act not like a grown up but a not matured adolescent. Those of you who know me well enough through personal interaction or through my writings posted on my blog or the TYS blog could be presuming that my favorite literary character is — Peter Pan. I most likely contributed to that impression by my behavior and speech. In that presumption or educated guess, you would be wrong.

While the fantasy fictional character in the Disney animated version of the story Peter Pan has truly influenced, and even impacted my life to a very large extent, Peter is not my favorite character. Yes, he does have adventures with pirates, has fun with other boys, sparked my imagination as well as millions of other children, but in the end he is pure fantasy—no boy can stop growing up or fly with pixie dust in our world. Besides, I like the original version of Peter as written by the author, James Barrie. The original Peter was more realistic; he had undesirable character traits, even a “dark” side. He was more like me than the angle face portrayed by the Disney animated feature. Believe it or not, I can tell the difference between fantasy and reality or more to the point, between fantasy and a character who actually could have or does exist in some form or another.

My favorite literary character is a free spirited, quick-thinking, rapscallion prone to adventures, loyal to his friends, struggling with the morality of laws that enslave people, and willing to risk everything to do what he believes is right. In many respects he and I are quite similar but unlike Peter Pan, he actually could have lived in the time period specified and done the things attributed to him. It is easy for me to identify with his personality and almost become him as the story progresses. His name? Huckleberry Finn.

© 16 March 2014

About the Author

I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach. Just prior to turning 8 years old in 1956, I began living with my grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents divorced.

When united with my mother and stepfather two years later in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11 terrorist attack.

I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. I find writing these memories to be therapeutic.

My story blog is TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com