Bumper Stickers, by Will Stanton

Bumper stickers.  We all have seen hundreds of them, many on
car bumpers, some stuck on car or truck windows.  A search on Google images brings up lots of
them, but I have to say that I’m not impressed with many of them.   The
vast majority of those stickers I would prefer never to have stuck onto my own
bumpers.  Many of them appear to have
been concocted by mindless idiots who think that they have been so clever.  The stickers neither convey any message worth
reading nor spark constructive thinking. 
Too many of them are simply profane, substituting profanity for
wit. 
And, far too many of them
express hate, something that I have grown very tired of.  I actually saw a battered old pickup truck
with a sticker on the cab’s rear window that read, “Save America.  Shoot all Muslims and Democrats.”  What added to the irony was that the
stereotypical looking cretin behind the wheel also had placed a “I love Jesus”
sticker next to the other one.  It
reminded me of a satirical bumper sticker that I once saw that asked, “What gun
would Jesus buy?”  Or, there was one I
saw that said, “Nuc a gay whale for Christ.”
I have become weary of
seeing religious messages on bumper stickers. 
Of course, those people who place them there have the right to do so;
however, I think that there are so many that they become tiresome.  Or worse, the statements shout intolerance,
proudly inferring that their religion is the only true religion, and all others
are false, sure to send the adherents to hell. 
The acerbic-tongued, British actress Maggie Smith sums it up quite
nicely: “My dear, religion is like a penis. 
It’s a perfectly fine thing for one to have and to take pride in; but
when one takes it out and waves it in my face, we have a problem.”
I can think of a lot of
messages that I could share with others, but I feel that most people would
think them too tame, too “goody-two-shoes.”  
Here are a few.  “Have you treated
everyone kindly today?”  “Have you been
honest in all of your business dealings today?” 
“Are all your political statements honest and constructive?”  “Do you strive each day to make society a
better place?”  I feel that such messages
should be seen by everyone; however, most likely, many people, viewing such
positive messages, might choose to become irritated or even angry.  The messages convey modes of behavior too
foreign to their own experience and desires.
Of course, most people
select bumper stickers that concern them personally, often omitting messages of
general interest.  I, too, can think of
various messages based upon my personal preferences, such as good music and its
remarkable influence upon emotional health and even physical well-being.  How about a bumper sticker that says “Build
fresh brain cells.– Listen to classical music.”  Or, “Go for Baroque.” 
Or, people might prefer
something a little more catchy.  At one
time a few years ago, I met a young waiter whose father was an
opera-tenor.  The father and his favorite
historical figure was the superlative singer Carlo Broschi, known on stage as
“Farinelli.”  The waiter asked me to find
a good portrait of Farinelli and to assist in preparing the digital data to
make a series of good-quality T-shirts, some for his dad and himself, and
others for friends.  An acquaintance of
mine who was supposed to print them never bothered to do so, but the slogan
still could work on a bumper sticker. 
Print a picture of Farinelli along with the statement, “It takes balls to
be a castrato.”  That bumper sticker
might raise an eyebrow or two.

© 19 November 2014 
About the Author  

 I have had a life-long fascination with people
and their life stories.  I also realize
that, although my own life has not brought me particular fame or fortune, I too
have had some noteworthy experiences and, at times, unusual ones.  Since I joined this Story Time group, I have
derived pleasure and satisfaction participating in the group.  I do put some thought and effort into my
stories, and I hope that you find them interesting.

Plumage, by Nicholas

          I like
scarves. I like to wear them and I like seeing them worn by other people.
Scarves are both fashionable and practical. They can provide warmth and
protection against the elements on a cold, blustery day. They can also provide
an elegant touch of color, a bit of flair with a swath of fabric flung around
your neck and over a shoulder. And they can make statements about who you are
and even what side you take.
          I’m always
surprised how much warmth a scarf can provide when wrapped around my neck on a
winter’s day. It’s an extra layer of protection against the wind. It feels cozy
and snuggly and shelters some exposed skin. The winter scarves I have are light
wool and are burgundy and purple. They’re long enough to completely wrap them
around me. I have another yellow scarf that my mother knitted for me years ago
but I rarely wear it because I keep it more as a memento of her.
          Scarves can
also make statements—fashion statements and political statements. Scarves can
be gay when a man wears one that is colorful and elegant. It can bring a
feminine touch to your wardrobe. I wear a blue and gold silk scarf sometimes
and I have a fuchsia and black scarf that I wear just for decoration. The
secret to always being fashionable, they say, is to accessorize. Scarves can be
so gay.
          Political
statements are also made through scarves. Certain scarves in certain colors on
certain days often convey symbolic political sentiments. I own a scarf that is
checkered red and black which might be taken for a Middle Eastern keffiyeh, the checkered headdress worn
by many Palestinians and adopted by some non-Palestinians as a gesture of
solidarity. I didn’t buy it for that. In fact, the resemblance didn’t occur to
me until much later when I realized there could be political overtones to my
new fashion accessory. But then I doubt a Palestinian warrior would wear my
pinkish-red scarf anywhere. It’s not their style.
          My favorite
scarves are not actually scarves at all but can be worn as such. They are these
bright pieces of plumage from Renaissance Italy. These are actually flags or
banners representing the different neighborhoods of Siena. Each banner—with different
colors, animals (both mythical and real), wild patterns of stripes and daggers
of color, and patron saints displayed—symbolically represents one of the 17
districts of the old medieval city.
These banners are used by neighborhood
teams competing in the annual horse race, called the Palio, held since the 15th
century (and still held) each summer in the huge piazza in the center of town.
Of course, the three-day event is more than one horse race. Much pageantry and
pomp goes along with it, including parades with these banners carried by people
in equally flamboyant Renaissance costumes of tight leotards, puffy sleeves and
very bright colors.
So, wearing a scarf can be more than
putting on an accessory to highlight a color, more than showing your support
for a sports team, and more than just bundling up against the cold. Scarves
have become yet another way humans have concocted to say something in a world
that might not be paying much attention anyway. A scarf is a flag to wave.
©  March 2015 
About the Author 
Nicholas grew up in
Cleveland, then grew up in San Francisco, and is now growing up in Denver. He
retired from work with non-profits in 2009 and now bicycles, gardens, cooks,
does yoga, writes stories, and loves to go out for coffee.