Tag: Retirement

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My Favorite Fantasy, by Phillip Hoyle

In my junior high and senior high school years while listening to LPs I directed orchestral and choral music before the mirror in the front room. I fantasized myself back then as a conductor. In my young adult years I fantasized that the children I taught would retain as adults useful information, memories, and impressions that would inform their thinking and provide insightful reading of biblical, theological, and religious experience. I hoped that when they read they would find the religious landscape familiar. I hoped that they would realize they had learned skills in childhood that were still informative and not a block to their continuing growth. Such educational fantasies I entertained. As for the adults I taught, I simply hoped they would find new perspectives rather than insist on the same old ideas! For the past fifteen years I have fantasized that my massage clients in the sessions would relax deeply into the relief the therapies provide and from our work together would discover the ability to change postures or otherwise improve their day-to-day movement. But these days those fantasies serve me little, for now I am facing retirement in which I will sever my formal work relationships, a retirement that in its anticipation is engendering a whole new fantasy world.

Last week I received a retirement package from Heather, my daughter-in-law, a kit that includes a children’s book titled The cat with two homes Text by Tim Henley, illustrations by Jo Burroughs. Reader’s Digest Association Limited, 1989). Heather told me she has read the story to dozens of children and thinks it may help me prepare for my retirement. She wants me to meet the main character named Olly who she is sure will help me conceptually. She suggested I become a part-time vagabond somewhat like that cat. Of course that means I make longer visits to Mid-Missouri to see the family, play cards, work, live on the farm, and have long creative conversations. I’m imagining that but hope trips there wouldn’t include milking the goats.

Heather also sent watercolor and pastel paintings made by two of my granddaughters. I’m inspired by Rosa’s works and entertained by Ulzii’s. I framed one picture from Rosa to hang in my studio. Soon I hope to work with a teacher to learn watercolors. That means buying MDV boards, attending a class, and more. I already purchased a portable kit of paints that has brilliant colors and have a fine set of watercolors in tubes. I’ve got the other goods too: tape, paint, papers, and brushes. Now it’s time to learn how to use them with greater effect than I have been able to produce on my own. I’ll start the work soon.

During trips to my Missouri farm home, I imagine sketching plants and animals as well as buildings in towns and the countryside. I can make Artist Trading Cards galore from the new images using my watercolor supplies and techniques. I’m sure to have a wonderful time. I can send cards to my artist friend Sue who can trade them in Denver on my behalf.

I’ll also take my laptop and write a book. That will require more time than I have ever given myself in my trips there. Surely I can arrange to write in one of my vagabond homes. Oh I’ll have to find a nice coffee shop nearby, preferably one that has a resident cat, wonderful scones, and only the best coffee. I am pleased at these fantastic details. I’ll carefully plan my trips at the best times of the year. I’d hate bad weather to mess with my sunny fantasies unless clouds should provide interesting subjects, colors, and shadows for my anticipated watercolor works.

Heather also wants me to join my granddaughters and grandsons in art and music making and perhaps to get them summertime coffee house bookings in Denver, making way for their first interstate tour. This fantasy goes on and on, and all of it arising from one short letter and a small book about a cat who not only had two homes but also disappeared in the evenings to places even the storyteller didn’t know about. I’m finding that my life anticipating retirement is good; details flourish in this my favorite current fantasy.

© Denver, 2013

About the Author

Phillip Hoyle lives in Denver and spends his time writing, painting, and socializing. In general he keeps busy with groups of writers and artists. Following thirty-two years in church work and fifteen in a therapeutic massage practice, he now focuses on creating beauty. He volunteers at The Center leading the SAGE program “Telling Your Story.”

He also blogs at artandmorebyphilhoyle.blogspot.com

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One Monday Afternoon by Betsy

When I retired I was quite elated that I would no longer have to do any work. That is work other than the menial chores of maintaining a household. The rest of the time I would play–perpetual play for the rest of my life. This attitude only lasted for about the first week of retirement. I soon found myself redefining what for me was work and what was play and just exactly what was rest and recreation anyway? Since I did quite a bit of writing in the last 10 years of my job, it seemed like writing was work.

I soon adjusted to retired life. The only writing I did was in our travel log as we journeyed here and there in our beloved VW camper van to many different parts of the U. S. “Mileage today was 350. Spent the night at Frigid Frosty Forest Service campground. Woke up to snow and froze our butts,” would be a typical entry into the journal.

Then one day about twelve years into retirement my partner Gill and I were presented with the opportunity to join a certain writing group at the LGBT Center. Currently I was told the group is made up of about 10-15 men–zero women, but surely more women would be joining the group. Well, that’s okay I said. I like men. But do I want to do the work of writing?

How often does the group meet, I ask? Every week. Surely, I say to myself, we don’t all write something every week. Probably we take turns so that each individual ends up writing something maybe once a month. I suppose I could try this out. When I learned that there is an assigned topic about which every one writes and shares with the group, it did seem for a moment like this would be burdensome. But Gill was enthused about doing it so why not give it a try. After all, I could pass or just not attend when I had nothing to share.

I must confess. The fact that this group was made up of men did get my attention. I had always had men in my life. I was close to my father and adored him. I was married for 25 years to my best friend, and I have a son and grandson whom I love very much. Life as a lesbian leaves little room for men and I had missed the contacts.

I made some close male friends years ago when I answered an announcement in the LGBT community for anyone interested in forming a tennis group. I showed up on the appointed day at Congress Park tennis courts with 20 men–no women. Our group maintained the same twenty-something to one gender ratio for several years. I became very good friends with some of these men and consider a couple of them still my friends although the group broke up several years ago after about 7-8 years of tennis and friendship.

But a writing group? Creating a piece of writing EVERY week. Telling my story. That sounds like work to me. I’ll have to exercise my brain and delve into memories and emotional stuff of the past and present. Do I really want to do that? Writing. Much harder than talking or thinking or imagining. After all, I thought, writing my story I will have to finish my dangling thoughts as well as correcting my dangling participles. Do I really want to get into that?

That was two years ago. Here I am cranking out the words to share just about every darn week. I feel deprived if I miss a week. I had no idea I would get so much out of being a part of this group when I was considering whether or not to join.

I have learned more than I can measure from the stories I hear from others on Monday afternoons. Sometimes funny and entertaining, sometimes heart-wrenching, sometimes informative, sometimes insightful, sometimes inspiring. I believe these Monday afternoons hone not only my writing skills, but also my listening skills. I don’t want to miss a word most of the time.

Furthermore, there is tremendous value to me in documenting experiences I have had, feelings I now have or have had in the past, beliefs I hold dear; ie, documenting who I am. The process of telling one’s story is not always easy, but with practice it gets easier. How much value the stories have for anyone else I will never know. But I find it oddly comforting knowing that I am leaving them behind when I depart this life.

Finally I believe this Monday afternoon activity of telling our stories gives a broader perspective on our own lives–a perspective perhaps not otherwise attained and certainly a perspective not easily attained.

March 3, 2013

About the Author

Betsy has been active in the GLBT community including PFLAG, the Denver women’s chorus, OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change). She has been retired from the Human Services field for about 15 years. Since her retirement, her major activities include tennis, camping, traveling, teaching skiing as a volunteer instructor with National Sports Center for the Disabled, and learning. Betsy came out as a lesbian after 25 years of marriage. She has a close relationship with her three children and enjoys spending time with her four grandchildren. Betsy says her greatest and most meaningful enjoyment comes from sharing her life with her partner of 25 years, Gillian Edwards.