Over the River and through the Woods by Ricky

In my case, the title should be Through the Woods and Over the River. In the 1960’s no one advised me about anything not related to schoolwork. Therefore, I remained confused about my personal, physical, and mental development. I did not even know that my emotional development was deficient. I was naïve about such things and could not see my orientation because “the trees were blocking my 

view of the forest.” Metaphorically speaking, I lived my life in the “woods” until the trees began to “thin out” in 1982.

I finally made it through the woods and out into the open during the summer of 2010 when I finally reviewed all the trail signs together and arrived at the conclusion that I am on the correct trail. However, I faced another obstacle – should I cross the river in front of me or remain near the woods for safety.

For the vast majority of my life, I was in denial and did not believe the signs often posted along the trail I was walking. After I accepted that the signs were correct, I pondered for several months if I even wanted to cross that wide and foreboding river.

Eventually, I did cross it when I told the members of my therapy group; I am out of the woods and now across the river. Strangely, when I looked back after that meeting, the “mighty” river appeared to be nothing more than a small creek easily walked over.

All the time I spent fearing the crossing equaled time wasted. My fears were real enough but in my case, groundless and now I am healing mentally and emotionally. I know others will have similar experiences with woods and rivers just as I know some others will have vastly different experiences. 

In life, a person will face many rivers that need crossing and perhaps there will be many woods or even forests to pass through. Different trails have varying opportunities for growth, experiences, development, satisfaction, self-awareness and offer different or strange woods, and rivers. The trick is to select a trail that matches one’s personality, abilities, understanding of the terrain ahead, dedication, preparation, and skills, or the journey may not be very enjoyable.

I hope everyone’s journey is successful and a reasonably pleasant stroll compared to a difficult, stress filled, and dangerous climb or with river crossings filled with turbulent rapids

and packed with piranha.

© 25 June 2012


About the Author

Ricky was born in 1948 in downtown Los Angeles. He lived first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach both suburbs of LA. Just days prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while (unknown to him) his parents obtained a divorce.

When reunited with his mother and new stepfather, he lived one summer at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife of 27 years and their four children. His wife passed away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. He says, “I find writing these memories to be very therapeutic.”

Ricky’s story blog is “TheTahoeBoy.blogspot.com”.

Depraved by Ricky

          The word depraved comes to us via the 14th century AD (1325-75 to be less precise). The Middle English word, depraven (Anglo-French), which in turn was descended from the Latin depravare. But then, who really cares about that. Does that make me depraved because I don’t really care from where the word came?

          I rather enjoy the
obsolete usage of the word, as in: The Republicans keep depraving President
Obama’s efforts, citizenship, and religious faith.  Especially since their real reason for criticizing
him (beyond being power hungry) is not his politics, but his skin color.  They are afraid of losing the support of
Black Republicans who could vote as a block for a black candidate and they do
not have one in 2012.
          The more common
usage of the word falls into three primary categories: 1. to
make morally bad or evil; 2.
to vitiate; and 3. to corrupt.  So here’s the problem with these
definitions.  What is morally bad or
evil?  In Christianity, the moral code is
fairly standard among the various sects, but not entirely.  Other religions have other criteria.  In Christianity, it is morally wrong to lie
and bare false witness against someone, but does that make Ted Haggart
“depraved” or just a lying hypocrite? If a husband or boyfriend lies in
answering the question, “Sweetheart, do you like this new lamp I bought?” to
avoid hurting the feelings of his loved one OR to avoid an argument over the
lamp, is he depraved for not telling his honest opinion?
          What is evil?  Most religious people would agree that the
Devil is evil, but what acts does he do that are evil?  Tempting people to violate the moral code?  If tempting people is evil, then all people
who encourage others who are on a diet to eat something “just this once” or
talk an alcoholic into having just one little drink would be classified as
evil.  I doubt most people would agree to
that.  If the Devil is evil because he
says there is no God, what about parents who declare Santa Clause or the Easter
Bunny real to their children, or people who lie and cheat on their income
taxes? Are they all evil too?  What about
the case of political parties or individual political groups who lie about and
distort the truth about another candidate? 
Are they also evil?  If Americans
cannot yell “FIRE” in a theater as a joke without being punished, why can
people in political campaigns slander an opponent with no legal
consequence?  Isn’t slandering a good man
“evil”?
          I really don’t
even want to discuss the “to vitiate” and “to corrupt” categories, so I am done
ranting except for one more thought.  If
there is no God or Supreme Being or etc., how can there be a legitimate moral
code to base our laws upon?  Where can a
person go to find a place where his so called “depravities” are his “pursuits
of happiness”?
Origin: 
1325–75;Middle English depraven (<Anglo-French) <Latin dēprāvāre
to pervert,corrupt,equivalent to dē-de-+prāv (us) crooked+-āre  infinitive suffix

de·prave

[dih-preyv]
verb (used with object), praved,-prav·ing.
to make morally bad or evil; vitiate;corrupt.
Obsolete. to defame.

vi·ti·ate

[vish-ee-eyt]
verb (used with object), -at·ed, -at·ing.
to impair the quality of; make faulty; spoil.
to impair or weaken the effectiveness of.
to debase; corrupt; pervert.
to make legally defective or
invalid; invalidate: to vitiate a claim.

© 5 December 2011

About the Author

Ricky was born in June of 1948 in
downtown Los Angeles.  He lived first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach, both suburbs of LA. 
Just prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grandparents on
their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while his parents
obtained a divorce; unknown to him.
When united with his mother and
stepfather in 1958, he lived first at Emerald
Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of
duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife and four
children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days
after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer
of 2010.  He says, “I find writing these memories to be
therapeutic.”
Ricky’s story blog is, TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com.

Memorials by Ricky

In Memoriam of Sandy Hook Elementary Victims
(14 December 2012)

          One of my early girlfriends narrowly missed being a casualty of the sniper at the University of Texas–Austin on 1 August 1966.  Thus, I find the topic “In Memoriam” depressing when I think about it too long, or in too much detail (like trying to write this life memory story).  Since 1981, my blocked negative emotions are returning and I am increasingly more sensitive and emotional over sad and tragic incidents and events.  Undoubtedly, at some point while writing this, I will stop to regain composure and dry my eyes.
          There are individual and personalized types of memorials.  To honor our mother after she passed away, my brother grew the fingernail on his left little finger to a little over ¼ inch in length.  He kept it that way right up to his passing in 2011.  At his death, his twin sister installed a flagpole in her front yard and placed an engraved plaque on it to honor him.  His ashes are on top of our mother’s grave and a Veterans Affairs plaque marks his location.  I occasionally wear a violet wristband in remembrance of the slain Matthew Sheppard, a hate-crime victim.
          The most horrific memorials to my mind and causes me a great deal of sobbing, are the ones dedicated to those senseless killings of innocents attending colleges and schools.  Since that August 1966 sniper in Austin, the shootings at schools and colleges did not stop and governments did nothing effective to stop the violence.  What is worse is the voting public did nothing to force legislators to act.  Living in metro Denver, I clearly remember the Columbine shooting (20 April 1999) and I have been to the memorial. 
Columbine Memorial – Never Forgotten

           No government did anything productive to prevent future violence.  Between the Columbine killings and the recent murders at Sandy Hook Elementary, there were 55 additional school shootings in the US (including three in Colorado: Bailey (Platte Canyon High School), Littleton (Deer Creek Middle School), and Aurora Central High School).  Neither governments nor the people did anything effective.  After the Sandy Hook shootings (as of 2 November 2013), there have been 18 more school shootings with 16 more fatalities and 21 more injured.¹  Perhaps governments and the populace will take effective action this time.

          Why did it take the mass killings of 6 and 7-year olds to motivate Congress to try and solve the problem?  Is Congress not concerned about the adult and teens that died at Columbine (or for that matter anywhere else since the 1970’s)?  Do members of Congress place their highest level of concern, and highest priority, on staying in office and increasing their party’s political power over serving the nation?  Do they even care about what is good for the people and nation?  In my opinion, their inaction cheapens the value of the lives lost.  [NOTE:  On 17 April 2013, Republican and Democrat members of the U.S. Senate once again turned their collective backs on the safety of the citizens by “killing” a bill to close background check “loopholes” in firearms law.] Since inaction speaks louder than words, it appears they really don’t care about us or US.
          I hope the following photographs forever haunt the dreams of our Congress’s heartless, soulless, and cowardly elected members who voted down (or blocked) the background checks bill. May they never have another peaceful night of sleep!   

In Memoriam of Sandy Hook Elementary Victims
(14 December 2012)
The Adults
Rachel D’Avino (Teacher’s Aid with her dog)
Dawn Hochsprung (Principal)

Nancy Lanza (Mother of the murderer)

Anne Marie Murphy (Teacher)

Lauren Rousseau (Teacher)

Mary Sherlach (School Psychologist)

Victoria “Vicki” Soto (Teacher)

The Children
Charlotte Bacon 6

Daniel Barden 7

Olivia Engel 6

Josephine Gay 7

Dylan Hockley 6

Madeleine F. Hsu 6

Catherine V. Hubbard 6

Chase Kowalski 6

Jesse Lewis 6

Grace McDonnell 7

Ana Marques-Greene 6

James Mattioli 6

Emillie Parker 6

Jack Pinto 6

Noah Pozner 6

Caroline Previdi 6

Jessica Rekos 6

Avielle Richman 6

Benjamin Wheeler 6

¹ For a list of school shootings in the U.S. from 26 July 1764 through 2 November 2013 visit:

© 29 January 2013, revised 18 March 2013, 27 April 2013, 5 May 2013 and 9 November 2013. 

About the Author

Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA

Ricky was born in 1948 in downtown Los Angeles. He lived first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach both suburbs of LA. Just days prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while (unknown to him) his parents obtained a divorce.

When reunited with his mother and new stepfather, he lived one summer at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife of 27 years and their four children. His wife passed away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.


He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. He says, “I find writing these memories to be very therapeutic.”


Ricky’s story blog is “TheTahoeBoy.blogspot.com”.




Writing My Story by Ricky

I suppose that everyone else has some or most of the same impediments to writing their story as I do when writing mine.  Between all authors of course, there are the differences of skill, vocabulary, imagination, and life experiences from which to draw inspiration. I am referring to the hindrances brought about by the so-called “writers block” and “the muse isn’t musing” and a lack of “passion” for the topic.

Only rarely do inspiration and passion combine to motivate me to write on a topic earlier than five to eighteen hours in advance of its presentation to our Telling Your Story group. A procrastinator all my life, (influenced by all those before-the-sun-comes-up farm chores while living with my grandparents) I seem to be my best when faced with a rapidly approaching deadline. This writing is well within those time limits as I began to type it at 8:15 this morning after having it in my subconscious mind for over a week. Even after all that passage of time, no ideas on how to approach the topic for writing presented themselves until Sunday morning between 1:30 and 3:00 AM.

While looking for some photographs I could place into my stories on my blog site to jazz-it-up a bit, I found a box of photos labeled “John & Deborah.” As I perused the contents, I began to travel down the memories invoked by the images. Suddenly, the muse attacked and I knew what to write about this week.

Actually, the writing about part is really the same-old-thing; it’s about me. I am writing about my life’s story not just any story (as most of us do in this group). What makes the topic most difficult for me to write about, is my desire to include my dealings within in the context of how I interpret the meaning of the topic. I guess that is the “Drama King” or ego part of me wanting the story to be about me. But then again, that is the premise of this Telling Your Story group, so maybe I am not being a drama king or an egotist; just following the premise.

Now you might think that I am done with this topic as this is an easy place to stop but you would be wrong. This story is really about the effect the photographs have on me because the muse attacked me with that idea. Therefore, this is the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say.

There were several photographs of major interest to me. Especially enjoyable are the ones where either my spouse or I had written some information on the back. Then there were those where nothing is written but I knew all the people and the background indicated the place if not the exact year. Then there are the mysterious ones where again nothing is written on the back and I knew at least one person in the photo but the background does not provide any memory jogs to time or location.

I found three black & white photos of me as a little boy of at various ages. One shows me sitting on a new Schwinn bicycle in front of the Christmas tree. I was five or six-years old.

Another photo shows me standing at the curb waiting for the school bus for my first day of 1st grade at the Hawthorn Christian School.

There are two official school photos of first and second grades. I really cannot tell which is which. There are very slight changes in my facial structure and one slight difference in the school uniform I am wearing, but I am not sure which one shows the younger me although I made an “educated” guess.

1st Grade
2nd Grade

Yet another shows me at 5-years old crouching on the front porch of our home. The expression on my face made me think that I was looking at a photo of Leonardo DiCaprio at 5-years old. In contrast, Donald thinks I look like a young Buddy Ebsen, which I can’t see any resemblance.

I have seen a photo of my mother, stepfather, and my 3-year old brother and sister taken on Easter Sunday in 1962. I know I took that picture but always wondered why there wasn’t one of me. Well, I found my equivalent photo in the box with all the others through which I was rummaging.

Me and my dog, PeeWee.

That photo and another one taken at high school graduation made me re-evaluate my life-long self-image.

HS Graduation

 Even though it will make me appear to be vain and egocentric if not an egomaniac, I must say that depending upon age I have always been very cute or rather handsome. (Perhaps not vain or an egomaniac as this is supposed to be a story about me.) This next part might be though. I was good looking enough that every pedophile within 50-miles of me should have had me on their most wanted list. Why they did not I will never know. Perhaps I was not all that attractive in reality.

So now, you know what struggles I have with writing my story and what goes through my brain as I do it. I hope it is not an ugly or frightful sight. 

©
16 July 2012

About the Author

Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA

Ricky was born in 1948 in downtown Los Angeles.  Just prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grand-parents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while (unknown to him) his parents obtained a divorce. 

When reunited with his mother and new stepfather, he lived one summer at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife of 27 years and their four children.  His wife passed away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.  He says, “I find writing these memories to be very therapeutic.”

Ricky’s story blog is “TheTahoeBoy.blogspot.com”.

Nudity: A Story Noir by Ricky

In the Naked
City, there are many stories; this is mine.

     This particular topic caused me some difficulty in finding memory points from which to start. One of the problems facing me on this issue is that whatever I write might be quite revealing. So when one strips down the topic to its underlying components, there remains nothing hidden from public or private contemplation of the sum total of the subject so disclothed.

     Fortunately, some things cannot be bared in this life. The detailed workings of human thoughts are not displayed for all to see but, the results of those thoughts can be a strong indicator of what those thoughts were. Thus, allowing any witnesses to the activities viewed to speculate on the thoughts that prompted the actions; essentially the actions become a window in which thoughts are laid bare. Hence, we can easily detect (or at least infer) naked: greed, fear, display, lust, hatred, desire, power, and jealousy in others. Ironically, our language usage does not allow the terms naked: joy, happiness, intelligence, strength, or love and beauty (except in the context of pornography). The concept of nudity is generally associated with societal negativism and so the social majority perceives or associates nudity with something undesirable, dirty, nasty, and perverse.

     It would not be fair or accurate to blame organized religions for the negative view of nudity considering the hundreds of years of art featuring nude statues of men, boys, women, and girls that exist (or existed) in many religious and public parks and buildings. In addition, the palaces of monarchs and museums contain many paintings, statues, and carvings that are not only art, but also interpreted by some of our era as being erotic, highly erotic, or even pornographic. So it is not the fault of organized religions of this attitude towards the pubic display of the human body, but the fault of the individuals who rose to positions of power within those organizations who promoted their idea of morality and decency contrary to centuries of acceptance. 

     People change the concepts and attitudes in societies, not the organization itself. Organizations and governments cannot do anything of themselves. The people in leadership and bureaucratic positions within those entities cause acts of liberation or oppression—people thinking something and then causing their thoughts to become doctrine or law which then result in actions of change. In other words, people cause the problems not organizations; just like, “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”

     In my babyhood, it was somewhat customary for a baby to have a bare-skin rug photograph taken. Mine is in my baby-book. In today’s paranoia, anyone possessing or taking such pictures could easily be charged with child pornography depending upon the intelligence (or lack thereof) of the district attorney.

     So, enough fluff; here is my revealing account—take notes for there will be a test at the end.

     From birth to age 1, I was fairly presentable at all times, however, once I learned to dress (or more accurately undress) myself, I enjoyed baring my soul and body around the house and even outside sometimes, if mom wasn’t watching me close enough. Obviously being in my birthday suit at bath time was a given and strangely enough, quite enjoyable. But, being bare for the frequent application of pain to my backside (for disciplinary purposes) was definitely not enjoyable, (I was a slow learner of obedience).

     After a fateful spanking when I was 4 or 5, my parents could not easily get me to remove my clothing for any reason as I was so afraid of another such spanking. Ironically, I had no reservations about trying to see others in a state of undress. I did not begin to “grow out of” that fearful frame of mind until I entered puberty at age 9 ½.

     Right after turning 10 my father took me to visit his brother and my cousins in Washington State. My uncle had a steam bath in his back yard and one evening one of his adult friends, my father, my two cousins, and I took one. It was my first time being naked (not nude) in front of a group of males. I was shy because of the adults (and that spanking) and mostly kept myself covered up. The adults didn’t bother to cover and neither did my younger cousins (who mostly pranced around) — I was so self-repressed, but I did do a lot of peeking.

     It wasn’t until I turned 11 that my next very significant disclothing event occurred with full intent and purpose. That was the summer I learned how nudity affected the process of reproduction (while being naked with my instructor) after which a neighborhood girl and I decided to try it. Fortunately for us (or unfortunately depending upon your moral code or at least point of view) she said that my slight penetration was painful, so being a “gentleman” (howbeit a nasty one) I quit trying.

     From that time on until I was 21, all my naked comings and goings were with my peers (except when at 16 my father added himself to my group of playmates. He was only involved with me and not my other friends.) In high school gym, the mandatory gang shower after class resulted in many naked boys successfully avoiding embarrassing erections while showering, all the while sneaking peeks at each other’s nude equipment. At the time, I was the only boy in my gym class (all four years) who was not circumcised, so I was constantly catching careless boys looking at me. At 21 years, two female peers introduced me into the “Joy of Totally Naked Sex Club”, which I thoroughly enjoyed, but still missed male with male oral action. When I got married at age 25, there followed many years (27years and 9 months) of much nudity.

     After my wife passed away, I discovered a place a little NW of Boulder where men could be naked out in the woods without harassment. I also went several times to a hot springs once owned by a nudist club south of Colorado Springs originally named “The Well” but now known as Dakota Hot Springs.

     This is my story from the Naked City and I certify that it is the truth, the whole nude truth, and nothing but the naked truth.

© 11 April 2011


About the Author


Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA

Ricky was born in June of 1948 in downtown Los Angeles. He lived first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach both suburbs of LA. Just prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while his parents obtained a divorce; unknown to him.

When united with his mother and stepfather in 1958, he lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. He says, “I find writing these memories to be therapeutic.”

Ricky’s story blog is, TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com.

Scouting for Fun by Ricky

(Three tales filled
with truth, wisdom, courage, and humor.)
Click on the image to enlarge.

     Some adults have memories of their time in the Boy Scouts. Like always, there are those memories which remind us of good, bad, embarrassing, and funny incidents occurring during campouts and even the weekly troop meetings. The following are three of my favorite memories. All these events occurred from 1963-65, while I served as the Senior Patrol Leader of BSA Troop 456 of South Lake Tahoe, CA (Golden Empire Council) where I pretty much ran the troop under the guidance of the Scout Master, Bob Deyerberg. 

1.  One of my responsibilities as the Senior Patrol Leader was to ensure that the Patrol Leaders were properly training and testing their assigned scouts in the requirements for rank advancement. One night I was sitting-in on an oral test of a second class scout working towards his first class badge. The scout, Paul, was doing very well answering the questions correctly until he was asked to name ten edible wild plants. Paul named off nine very quickly and then (like many of us presented with the task of naming ten items on a list) he had a “brain lockup”. After much silence and some very minor harassment (I mean encouragement) by his patrol leader, Paul finally and confidently blurted out—“road apples”. After the rest of us finished laughing and explained to Paul exactly what a “road apple” was (horse droppings), he managed to name a correct one and passed that test.

2.  One summer campout, we were camping near the ruins of an ore crushing stamp mill along the Carson River in the desert near the eastern edge of Carson City, Nevada. During the second night, all scouts were gathering around the fire pit for our campfire activities. Bob, our Scout Master, was acting strange which is to say that he had a shopping bag with stuff in it but would not let us see what was inside; very mysterious and so unlike him. After we had held our fire starting ritual and finished our singing, it was time for stories. A few scouts told some simple ghost stories while others told funny ones in their turn.

     At last it was time for Bob to reveal the contents of the bag he was guarding. The contents were: an enameled bowl of a size used to water a pet dog; a short length of cotton clothesline; and stick long enough to span the diameter of the bowl; and a block of paraffin. While telling his story, Bob placed the paraffin in the bowl and set the bowl close to the campfire so as to melt the paraffin; then cut the clothesline into three ten-inch long pieces and tied the tops to the stick with the center piece in the middle with the others a short space on either side.

     This is the “Reader’s Digest” version of his story. In ancient times a large tribe of Indians lived in this area; on the desert of the Carson Valley. They hunted in the desert and also in the Sierra Nevada Mountains for game to feed and clothe the tribe. One year the desert game became scarce and the mountain game was virtually non-existent. Hunting parties returning from unsuccessful hunts reported seeing the tracks of some gigantic beast. They believed that this beast must be either killing the game or scaring the game away. The tribe brought the matter to the attention of the tribal chiefs.

     This tribe was lead by three chiefs of equal rank and authority. Each chief contributed his talent to the group of three and thus they led with confidence and the tribe prospered. The chiefs were named: Brave Eagle, Wise Eagle, and True Eagle. The three chiefs concluded that they were the only ones who could defeat this beast so they set out alone into the mountains to hunt it down. Several weeks passed before they found the beast sleeping. After locating the beast, the chiefs set up a relay as each of them in turn acted as bait for the beast running themselves nearly to death as they tired the beast. Finally, the last of the chiefs to run, Brave Eagle, led the beast onto a thinly frozen lake; the beast broke through the ice and drowned.

     The chiefs had been gone much longer than the tribal members had patience so after two weeks the tribe sent their fastest runner, Swift Eagle, to go find out how the hunt was going and if everything was alright. In spite of being fast, Swift Eagle could only but follow the trail signs left by the chiefs who were quite swift themselves. So, he could only slowly catch up to them. When he finally realized that the beast was chasing the chiefs, Swift Eagle tried to run even faster. At last he found the first of the three chiefs, Wise Eagle, on the verge of death. Swift Eagle began lamenting the impending loss of the chief saying what would the tribe do without his wisdom. The chief told him to cut some hair of the back of his head to burn at council fires so his wisdom would always be with them. So he cut the hair and the chief died.

     Swift Eagle came upon the other two chiefs in turn and those chiefs also had him cut off some of their hair before they also died. Swift Eagle returned to his tribe, told them of the chiefs’ fates and their command about what to do with their hair. The tribe obeyed and they once again prospered.

     By the end of the story it suddenly became clear to me what Bob was intending to do. He placed the stick with the pieces of clothesline across the bowl of the now melted paraffin and announced that we were all going to put some hair from the back of our heads into the bowl so we could burn it at every one of our “council fires” at the close of each troop meeting. As I was the oldest and the “leader” of the troop, Bob selected me to be cut first to set the example. (At the time, I was a sophomore in high school and really didn’t want to explain why I was missing hair on the back of my head to my peers, but I couldn’t “wimp” out.) Then one by one, every scout present had a fifty-cent coin size of hair cut by Bob from the back of their head. Bob went last and I got to do the honor. Bob was cut and cut and cut. I didn’t go overboard but his cut spot was larger than a fifty-cent piece.

3.  That same summer our troop was camping along the Carson River but about 25 to 35 miles east of Carson City. George was an 11-year old, fair skinned, short, skinny boy with “toothpick” arms and legs and was completely ill equipped for his first scout campout. George’s biggest problem was what some swindler sold to his parents as a sleeping bag. Desert nights can be very cold and George’s sleeping bag was not designed to be used in temperatures under 70° and George did not appear to have even an ounce of fat on his frame to help keep him warm.

     Ultimately, to keep George healthy and not to be so discouraged that he would quit, Bob swapped sleeping bags with George. As a result, Bob spent the night sleeping next to the campfire he had to keep refueling throughout the night until he moved into his car to escape an early morning cold breeze.

     George did not appear to be your run-of-the-mill boy. His interests seemed to center on bugs, little critters or creatures, and aquatic life forms. Even so, no one treated him disrespectfully or made fun of him behind his back; at least I never heard of any.

     The next morning after sleeping in his car and around the campfire, Bob was not in the best of moods (understatement). About mid-morning he had to keep telling some of the scouts to stay out of the water. One scout had discovered crayfish in the river and soon several scouts were trying to “harvest” a few for lunch. Some “fished” with strips of bacon, but some waded right in and came out wet into chilly air; hence the stay-out-of-the-water order. Nonetheless, about an hour later, Bob looked about and spied George up to his knees walking in the water wearing his socks and leather shoes. Bob told him to get out and when George complied Bob asked him, “Why were you walking in the river?” I suspect George was simply pursuing his interest in aquatic life, but his reply was, “Well, I’ve always liked water sports.”

I’m the boy wearing a hat.
At the time, none of us knew Jim Nabors was gay.
Boy Scout Memorial in Washington D.C. — Notice the naked adult male.
The BSA prevented me from becoming a delinquent.  I thought the program was to create good citizens, not to teach discrimination.

© 7 March
2011





About the Author


Ricky was born in 1948 in downtown Los Angeles.  Just prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grand-parents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while (unknown to him) his parents obtained a divorce.

When reunited with his mother and new stepfather, he lived one summer at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife of 27 years and their four children.  His wife passed away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.  He says, “I find writing these memories to be very therapeutic.”

Ricky’s story blog is “TheTahoeBoy.blogspot.com”.

Queer, Just How Queer? by Ricky


     I am not the pejorative “queer” in any way, shape, or form. I may be a bit eccentric or odd to some people, but “queer,” never!


     I believe in God, America, and mom’s apple pie, that’s not “queer.” I believe in freedom, the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and mom’s homemade ice cream, that’s not “queer.” I believe in the Scout Slogan, Scout Oath, and the Scout Law, that’s not “queer.” I believe in baseball, basketball, football, and John Wayne, that’s not “queer.” I believe in hamburgers, hotdogs, and yellow potato salad, that’s not “queer.” I believe in Cheerios, Wheaties, and Baseball Nut ice cream, that’s not “queer.” I believe that love conquers all, that good triumphs over evil, and that much harm is caused by people who do not understand and do not live their professed religion, that’s not “queer.”


     I believe that my children love me and that they know I love them, that’s not “queer.” I believe that God loves me in spite of my shortcomings, that Jesus Christ died for my sins (yes, I do have some), and that I might live to see His return, that’s not “queer.” I believe in the King James Version of the Bible (as far as it has been translated correctly) and The Book of Mormon, that’s not “queer,” that’s religion. I believe in the inherent goodness of men, women, and friends, that’s not “queer,” a bit naïve maybe but not “queer.” 


     I am physically 64, psychologically 12, and love “G” rated movies, that is odd, but not “queer.” I believe that in spite of my foibles and shortcomings, I am a good person, that’s not “queer,” that’s confidence. I believe in Classical Music, Santa Claus, and Peter Pan, that’s odd or even eccentric maybe, but not “queer.”


     I believe in Superman, Batman, and in “fighting” for freedom, justice, and equality under the Law for everyone. I believe the Constitution exists to protect The People from the Government and the minority from the tyranny of the majority. None of this is “queer,” but it is Americanism. I believe that all elected officials convicted of crimes should be permanently ineligible to hold public office and I believe all stockbrokers, CEO’s and board members of corporations that engage in fraudulent activities or that go bankrupt should be held financially accountable to pay back stockholder losses from their personal accounts and the corporations dissolved, that’s not “queer,” that’s justice. I believe in honoring, obeying, and sustaining the law, that’s not “queer,” that’s good citizenship.


     No. I am not the pejorative “queer” in any way, shape, or form. I may be a bit eccentric or odd to some people, but “queer,” never! 


     However, I do have a penis fetish.


© 21 June 2012

About the Author
Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA

Ricky was born in 1948 in downtown Los Angeles.  Just prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grand-parents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while (unknown to him) his parents obtained a divorce.

When reunited with his mother and new stepfather, he lived one summer at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife of 27 years and their four children.  His wife passed away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.  He says, “I find writing these memories to be very therapeutic.”

Ricky’s story blog is “TheTahoeBoy.blogspot.com”.

Going Pink by Ricky

Going Pink
    This
is an interesting keyword topic for this week’s writing assignment.  It has provided me with hardly any memories
to get some “story traction” or points-of-departure from which to expand
upon.  I told three members of this group
that I would probably write something that would turn everyone’s ears pink when
I read it to them.  Of course, they
laughed because they “knew” me well enough that I would not do that, but then
they also know me well enough that I am spontaneously unpredictable when it
comes to humor and joking around.  So,
maybe there is enough doubt in their minds about whether or not I would really
do it.  Well, the answer is…Yes! 
I did write one that will turn any listener’s or reader’s ears pink;
even hot pink.  Therefore, with that forewarning and, my
apologies to the ladies present, here goes. 
Oh wait, I just can’t say these pink ear producing words out loud so,
I’ll just let you read the story for yourself, if you dare.
One Day in the Woods

     One day when I was 13, I was walking
in the woods when I came upon two #$%%xs who were
doing the most amazing things to each other using their  )(&@#+!   #$#((&
and  $#@$#@.  Some of their actions were funny like when
they *&^^),   ^x@#$@, and  (&(^*%#!@#.  Other things they did, like
–C E N S O R E D by SAGE–  were
just  @$%**#&%@+.   !#$@$,   @^^%*(&,   @!@%^%, and *&*%$#@ 
were highly sensual and  **&*%&^$#.  Eventually, they %#&**^@)
and invited me to join them next time I was in the woods. 
The ^%$$)&@!> End
     Growing up at South Lake Tahoe was a real treat.  My first summer, I was my step-father’s deck
hand on his 38 foot cabin cruiser which he used to conduct all-day tours around
the lake.  After that summer, it was just
nice to live in the clear mountain air, play in the woods with my peers, and
eventually to live in a house, which was surrounded by woods with our next
neighbor being several hundred yards distant. 
That location I usually describe as “like living in the middle of
Central Park in New York City.”  But for all that mountain splendiferous
environment, we led basically a lower middle-class existence.
     As a result, we could not afford ski
equipment for me so I never learned to snow ski and thus could not join the
high school ski team.  Our school’s dress
code prohibited many things, like facial hair on boys and pants or Levis on girls.  However, during winter season’s cold months,
girls were allowed to wear pants. 
Because South Tahoe is a winter skiing Mecca for the “flat-landers,” we were all
exposed to the ski clothing fashions of the day.  During those months, nearly everyone, both
boys and girls, would wear ski pants to school.
     I didn’t get to wear any until my
senior year.  I still remember how much I
wanted a couple of pair of the skin-tight, stretchy, but not too tight fitting,
pants.  Before I got my pair, I had to
content myself (as did the girls) in checking out the telltale bulges in the boys’
pants, which left no mistake as to which leg they hung in or their circumcision
status.  I don’t know if I wanted to
“show off” my stuff or if I just wanted to fit into the “fashion” scene, but I
really wanted those pants.  In any case,
as I said, I finally got one pair my senior year.
     Another winter skiing fashion
necessity was the footwear for when skiing was over and everyone was relaxing
in the lounges of the various resorts. 
Again nearly all the kids in school were wearing the very comfortable
“after-ski-boots” except me again, until my senior year.  Most of the styles were very similar in
design, made out of leather, and the color was almost exclusively black or
brown.  But my after-ski-boots were of
the same design, in my favorite color, and made of suede.  That’s right. 
At 17 years old, I wore my one and only pair of – blue suede shoes.  (Thank you Elvis!)
Similar to Mine but Not an Exact Match
     I really liked those shoes, but they
really turned out to be a bad purchase as the things were not waterproof and
the blue dye stained all my white socks with blue splotches.  I wore them anyway.
     Picture this – a boy wearing black,
snug fitting pants, and blue shoes. 
Still, no one called me a homo or queer even though no one else wore
blue shoes.  This was probably due to the
fact that besides the snug fitting ski pants and blue after-ski-boots, I
usually wore long-sleeved flannel shirts of various plaid color combinations.  Since the prevailing stereotype of a
gay man or boy at the time was the limp wrist and fashion conscious poster
child, and I was clearly not either,  I was probably viewed as either being
hopeless or a nerd.
     I really loved those blue boots.  I never went pink, but on so many levels I went
blue.
© 7 August 2012  

About the Author

     Ricky was born in June of 1948 in downtown Los Angeles. He lived first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach both suburbs of LA. Just prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while his parents obtained a divorce; unknown to him.
     When united with his mother and stepfather in 1958, he lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.
     He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. He says, “I find writing these memories to be therapeutic.”
     Ricky’s story blog is, TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com.

Mayan Pottery by Ricky

     From the time I was 10-years old through my 18th birthday, every December around Christmas time, I journeyed from South Lake Tahoe to Los Angeles via the Greyhound bus line. Each year the bus either went to Sacramento where I had to change to a different bus, or through Carson City, where I had a four or five hour layover before riding another bus to Los Angeles.

     Carson City had no lavish bus depot. It consisted of a small “office” with a small storage area for packages and unclaimed baggage. The bus driver had a key to the baggage area where he put my luggage but the office would not open until just before the scheduled arrival time for the north/south buses; in my case a four or five hour wait. I was ten when I took that first trip alone to Los Angeles via Carson City. I arrived at the still closed bus depot at 7:30 AM and had to wait until 12:30 PM to catch my bus.

     So I did what any 10-year old boy would do to stay warm and not be bored; I went street walking to find something to do. I was not hungry yet and I never ran across an open cafe. Carson City’s casinos were open but unavailable to me. Around 8:00, I arrived at an old building that resembled my schoolhouse from Minnesota. I stopped to read the sign, which informed me that the building was not an old school, but was the Nevada State Museum, formerly the U.S. Mint at Carson City.

     The museum was open and admission was free with donations accepted. Being on a very limited budget with enough funds for two snack meals to get me to my dad, I did not donate but entered anyway. I spent the next several hours in the museum wandering around and viewing all the exhibits that interested me.

     The first exhibit I saw was on the left side of the hall after entering. In a small room was a display of all the formal silverware presented to the navy’s battleship Nevada as a gift from the State of Nevada. Also on display were the ship’s bell and other items. All those items were returned or given to the state after the ship was selected to be the target ship for the hydrogen bomb test at the Bikini Atoll.

     Another item in the room was an old stamp or press machine, which actually placed the coin’s designs onto silver or gold coin “blanks.” In one side of the room was an old walk-in vault. The vault contained a permanent display of a private collection of gold and silver coins minted at the Carson City mint.

     I continued to wander through the museum for the next few hours reading all the posted display information and in general enjoying myself. I learned a lot about things not taught in school at the fifth grade level. The museum had an extensive display of Native American baskets and pottery, but no Mayan pottery or baskets. Eventually, I left through the basement exit mock up of a silver mine and caught my bus to Los Angeles. From then on, every time I ended up in Carson City to change buses, I spent my waiting time in the museum. I have been a “museumphile” ever since.

     As time passed and I visited other museums, I saw many examples of ancient pottery; ancient in this case meaning older than 500 years. The first ancient artifacts that discretely held my attention were not pottery, but wood, and came from Africa. It was a representative display of the various depictions of fertility gods, totems, or icons. These typically had either large breasts or over-sized and erect male genitals; a few actually had both.

     I have always been attracted to “images” that show or represent male genitals perhaps due to my adolescent fixation on all things sexual. I began to wonder how a museum could display such “naughty” things. It was many years before I understood the concept of understanding other cultures through anthropology. In other words, these cultures did not view these artifacts as being “naughty.”

     Many of the museums I visited had these types of displays and I was attracted to them all. When I finally arrived in Denver and visited the Denver Art Museum, I saw my first pieces of Mayan pottery (or at least pottery from Central and South America during the existence {and in the trading area} of the Mayan culture). Pieces on display came in various sizes, some small enough to fit on one’s palm and other pieces large enough to carry one or two gallons of liquid. Naturally, there were sizes in between the smallest and the largest artifacts.

Denver Art Museum — 4th Floor

     The ones of particular interest to me are the pieces with male genitalia. One of the larger items is a seated male in the act of masturbation. It is displayed in such a manner that anyone can see what the “man” is doing. It is prominently displayed on the bottom shelf of the display area, where any child can easily view it. On a higher shelf to the viewer’s right, is what appears to be an engraved penis perhaps used as a pre-Colombian sex toy or maybe venerated as a power symbol as did the ancient Romans and Greeks. This object is also within easy viewing of the young.

Denver Art Museum — 4th Floor
     Is it not strange that our “enlightened” culture can define a pottery man masturbating or an “engraved” penis as art, but proclaims a photograph of a real man masturbating or of a real erect penis as pornography?
© 16 December 2012

About the Author

Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA

Ricky was born in 1948 in downtown Los Angeles. He lived first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach both suburbs of LA. Just days prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while (unknown to him) his parents obtained a divorce.

When reunited with his mother and new stepfather, he lived one summer at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife of 27 years and their four children. His wife passed away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. He says, “I find writing these memories to be very therapeutic.”  

Ricky’s story blog is “TheTahoeBoy.blogspot.com”.



My Deepest Passion by Ricky

Forward: I wrote this memory in response to the topic “My Deepest Passions” while I was visiting my brother at South Lake Tahoe in the summer of 2011. He was a terminal cancer patient. I emailed it to our story group leader who read it to the group.

          Prior
to these past weeks my deepest passions were reserved for politics and undoing
the damages done to America since the passage of the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Amendments.  At this point in my life,
having lived at South Lake Tahoe these past several weeks, my deepest passion
is for my youthful memories of my life at the lake.  Perhaps you can tell from the four postcards
you should be viewing today and over the next two weeks, if Phillip and Stephen
keep bringing them, as I asked them to share the photos with you all.

          This
morning around 8:30AM, I arrived at Emerald Bay and spent the next 2 hours
taking some photos (none as nice as the post card photos) and reliving my
memories from when I was 10-years old living at the bay and serving as the deckhand on my parent’s 38-foot cabin cruiser tour boat; the Skipalong.  I walked the very short trail to the top of
Eagle Falls (photo op) and then down the steep1-mile trail to Vikingsholm
(photo op) and an additional 3/10 mile trail to the bottom of the falls for
another photo op.  After all that, I
walked the same 1-mile trail back to the parking lot.  The uphill trek seemed like 3 miles instead
of the actual one mile.  I had to take
baby steps to make it in reasonable time and to keep my heart from pounding. 
          I
was surprised at how strong the feelings of regret, past happiness, and longing
that filled me.  Regret for not returning
and staying after my first enlistment in the military; past happiness over the
memories of a 10-year old; and longing for the intervening lost years of
residency.  I visited all the homes I
lived at while I did live at Lake Tahoe (all three of them).  The last one is vacant and amazingly the
entire side of the block my home was on is still exactly as it was when I
left.  It is like living in Central Park
in New York City as the house is the only one on the block and is all open in a few places and wooded in the
remaining).
          Memories
of elementary and high school; working at the county campground; my boy scout
troop activities and campouts; my original desire to be buried in the top of
the mountains to the south at Star Lake; and the time a few of us uninvited scouts went to Idaho
and “crashed” the Boy Scouts’ World Jamboree, are just a few of the memories
that resurfaced.
          The
result of all this is that I really don’t want to return to Lakewood, but I will when my business with my
brother is completed.
I wish you all a great life and lots of creativity in writing or telling your stories. – Ricky

My parent’s tour boat.
Vikingsholm, Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA
Eagle Falls, Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA

My first home at South Lake Tahoe on Lapham Street.
My second home at South Lake Tahoe on Birch Street.

My last home at South Lake Tahoe on Red Lake Road.

© 29 August 2011

About the Author

Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA

Ricky was born in 1948 in downtown Los Angeles.  He lived first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach both suburbs of LA.  Just days prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while his parents obtained a divorce (unknown to him).

When reunited with his mother and new stepfather, he lived one summer at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife of 27 years and their four children.  His wife passed away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.  He says, “I find writing these memories to be very therapeutic.”

Ricky’s story blog is “TheTahoeBoy.blogspot.com”.